


The Exponential Variable

by Mohito



Series: Before and After. [6]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mohito/pseuds/Mohito
Summary: A new work in the series with all the same characters and a new character I hope you like.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So dear reader, I've taken a little bit of time to write this one. I had normal life going on and kept losing my way with this work. I'd write and write and delete and delete but I'm happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> There's angst and drama and all the feels! If you start to get nervous just keep reading and it will all add up. 
> 
>  
> 
> An exponential variable- A number added to itself that can change depending on the numbers around it.

Luke locked the door behind him whistling as he walked down his apartment building hallway. The five floor walk-up was perfect for him and his roommate, the acoustics in the high ceiling loft apartment were perfect, they had two closet sized bedrooms big enough for a bed and that was pretty much it. He walked quickly down the stairs with his violin in his hand, he saw the door at the bottom of the stairs open and smiled. Mrs. Lombardi stood in the doorway in her housecoat and her hair up in curlers, her cat and the newest litter of kittens streamed out of the door and over to his ankles. 

“Hello Mrs. Lombardi.” Luke said with a smile as he crouched down and stroked his hands over the kittens. 

“Hello Luke.” Mrs. Lombardi said. “You boys came home late last night.” 

Luke smiled. “I hope we didn’t bother you.” He said. Luke picked up a kitten and held it as Mrs. Lombardi walked out into the hallway. 

“No but you need to sleep more.” She said with her hands on her hips. Luke smiled and nodded. Mrs. Lombardi had been wary of them when they had moved in, two 20 something boys were trouble, his roommate Jake had sweet talked her with his southern charm and they had been sort of adopted her. Her husband had died years ago and their only son was in California and as she called it “Living like a crazy person.” 

He was a vegetarian. 

“How can a person not eat meat?!” She had asked Luke time and again. Luke would shake his head in amazed agreement. She called them the ‘Nice boys that lived upstairs’ and had become like a mom to them, she watched out for them and they watched out for her. 

The kitten in his hand purred loudly and rubbed his face over his. Luke felt the sneeze coming and Mrs. Lombardi took the kitten from his hands. 

“Aw man.” Luke said. Mrs. Lombardi smiled with a little sparkle in her eye. 

“Do you still need the…” Luke took a deep breath. “..sink…ACHOO….fixed?” Luke sniffed with watery eyes. 

Mrs. Lombardi took a handkerchief out of her pocket and handed it to Luke. 

“No, Jake came down to fix it.” She said. 

Luke smiled and wiped his nose. 

Beyond her door lay a whole other world of dainty furniture and lace curtains and the smells that came from her apartment had led him and Jake down the stairs more than once. Mrs. Lombardi would open the door with a smile and wave her wooden spoon at them. Luke and Jake were putty in her hands, they helped her out around her apartment but Luke had guessed a long time ago that Mrs. Lombardi could fix whatever was broken in her apartment, she just liked having them around. She was a tall sturdy woman with dark shrewd eyes and a big wide smile. She had very little time for nonsense or mess. 

Luke adored her. 

“You need rest.” She said narrowing her eyes and holding the kitten on one arm. “Your big show is coming.” She said with wide eyes. 

“I will.” He said with watery eyes and a bright smile. 

“Hmm.” Mrs. Lombardi said with a grimace. “Where is that nice girl of yours?” 

“I’m going to see her now.” He said with a smile. Mrs. Lombardi watched everyone and everything from her window, she heard and saw all. Luke had been on cloud nine after meeting Lou and couldn’t stop talking about her, he had told Mrs. Lombardi all about her and when they had met Mrs. Lombardi one Saturday afternoon on their way upstairs had (very conveniently) something amazing cooking and had casually asked if they wanted to come in for dinner, she had fed Lou pasta while she had very sweetly asked Lou a million questions. 

Mrs. Lombardi had grilled her like a fish. 

Lou had come out of the apartment stuffed and a little glassy eyed. 

“She should be a cop.” Lou had said shaking her head.

“Such a nice girl.” She said with her eyes narrowing. Luke smiled and tilted his head, he heard the question in her tone, she looked down at the kitten and stroked over its fur. 

“She is.” Luke said and tried to hide his smile. She always said she was ‘A nice girl’ and ‘So smart, such a smart girl’ or ‘That one, she’s special.’

Mrs. Lombardi’s tone screamed ‘MARRY HER AND HAVE BABIES!!!!’

“Hm.” Mrs. Lombardi grimaced again. Luke bit his lip to stop the laugh that bubbled up in him. 

“Tell her hello for me and she should come for Sunday dinner this week.” She said. 

“OH?” He said. “Whatcha makin?” He asked.

“Cabrini’s has a nice roast on sale.” She said. 

“OHHH?” He said. 

Mrs. Lombardi smiled and bounced the kitten in her arms. 

“And bring your nice girl.” She said with a sparkle in her eyes again. 

“Uh huh.” Luke said with a twist of his mouth. 

Mrs. Lombardi smiled wider and Luke stuffed the handkerchief in his pocket. 

“This little one needs a bed.” She said tsking and holding the kitten closer to her face. “Don’t you.” She said and pet his back as the kitten purred furiously and looked up at her with hazy drugged eyes. 

“I have to stop at the market. Need anything?” He asked. 

“Some milk.” She said petting the kitten and looking down lovingly.

“OK.” Luke said reaching out to give the kitten a pat over its head. 

“No rush.” She said. “If you think of it.”

“I will.” Luke said with a smile and stepped away from the doorway. 

“Come on my babies.” She said. All the kittens weaved back around her ankles and back into the apartment. Luke waved and smiled as he headed for the outside door, he pushed the door open and felt the blast of cold air. Luke pulled his hat down and huffed out a breath as he shoved his one free hand into his coat pocket. 

Mrs. Lombardi was a cat lady but in a nice way. She loved cats, but she wasn’t collecting them like some people did. She had a cat that would wander out of the apartment and always came back pregnant. Mrs. Lombardi would admonish Sweety (that was really her name) and she would be thrilled there were more kittens to love. She didn’t go crazy and keep them all and Luke would have taken a few but he had sneezed once in front of Mrs. Lombardi and that was it, no kittens for him. She had figured out he was slightly allergic and he would have to sneak around to play with them. 

He was pretty happy with occasional cat sitting when she would go away to see her son, she always left happy and came home bewildered. He had married a woman who Mrs. Lombardi said had all the brain power of a brussel sprout and Luke had surmised that his wife didn’t want children, it was a bone of contention between her and her son and Mrs. Lombardi went out to California less and less.

Luke took the three steps down the stairs and walked carefully over the icy street. It was a new year and he was as happy as he could be. He had spent a week at home and it had been their best Christmas in a long time. He had been nervous about bringing Lou home, he had waited to tell Mickey and was going to tell him when he picked him up from the airport. That plan had gone awry but seeing Lou standing over Mickey with a gun had been fucking hilarious. 

Mickey really liked Lou and he knew he would but seeing them get along so well had settled his nervous heart. She was different from anyone he had ever known and he was in love with her. He had been in like before, he had been infatuated but he had never been in love. It was crazy, she was sweet and giving and kind but kick ass and brave at the same time. 

Lou and Mickey had bonded over shared embarrassing stories about him and that was alright, because he now had the story of when he woke up and Mickey was on the floor knocked out by a cop who happened to be a girl. Luke laughed low in his throat, that story was gold and he may never get tired of telling it. 

Luke saw Jake walking quickly down the street toward him. 

“Hey.” He called out. Jake looked up and smiled. He had a wide happy face and big droopy blue eyes that went perfectly with his Jack Daniels drinkin’ smokin’ blues playin’ persona. 

They walked toward each other in the biting wind. Luke stood still and bounced his legs shivering against the cold. Jake had his hands shoved in his pockets and shook his head. 

“It’s colda than a whores bed on a Sunday mornin’. “ Jake said. 

“It sure as fuck is.” He said smiling. 

“God dang.” Jake drawled out. “Where you runnin’ off ta?”

“Lou’s.” He said. 

“Such a niiicccee girl.” Jake said smiling. 

Luke rolled his eyes up and tilted his head. 

“When are you going to find a niccceee girl?” He said. Jake smiled and shook his head. Mrs. Lombardi was constantly on the look out to find Jake a ‘nice girl’ and he had them, a lot of them, in every shape and size, frequently. The ladies loved Jake’s slow drawl and his southern charm. 

“HA!” Luke laughed and started walking past him, Jake waved his arm up and walked the other way. They had been roommates since freshman year and he had gone home to New Orleans with him a couple of times. Luke had brought Jake home for a few weeks last summer, Jake was always fun to have around and the three of them had had a great time, it was nice to see Mickey out and having fun. They had even dragged Mickey out to a club or two to hear Jake play. 

‘Hm road trip?’ He thought.

He could rehearse for 'The Big Show’ anywhere and Jake was always up for an adventure. 

Luke mulled it over in his mind, he had only been home for a couple of weeks since Christmas but he still tried to go home as much as he could. Mickey was alright, he knew that but he also knew Mickey still had bad days. When Luke would call he could hear it in his voice, there was a tone in his voice the only way he could describe the tone was emptiness. 

Luke turned his head back enough to see Jake walking quickly toward the apartment nodding to the men he passed on the street, his southern politeness was a bit confusing to New Yorkers. People here looked straight ahead and didn’t ever say ‘Evenin’ like he was sure Jake had said to the men as he passed. Jake said his Momma would skin his behind if he wasn’t a southern gentleman. 

Luke had met her, he believed it. 

Turning back around he held his violin tightly and walked over the half shoveled icy sidewalk, he looked toward the subway and heard the rumble of the train as it rolled away hearing the music of the train car. It rolled away to silence and Luke heard footsteps behind him, the men who had passed Jake were walking quickly. Focusing his ears on their footsteps he heard four of them and they all moving with a purpose. Luke kept his pace steady and his hearing on their feet, they were coming up fast. 

“Hey.” He heard. The voice was hard and slurred. 

Luke stopped walking as he felt his heart beat faster in his chest. 

“What you got there?” Luke heard from another voice. Luke heard the sneaky nasty tone and took a sharp breath. 

“It’s a violin.” He said. They immediately laughed cold hard laughs and he heard them coming around him on all sides. 

“A what?” The mean voice said with a laugh. 

“It’s a violin.” Luke said again. “It’s an instrument, the musical kind.” 

“Let’s see it.” The slurred voice said. Luke saw him grab for the violin and he stepped back pulling it away from his hands. 

The men laughed again and Luke saw the punch coming, he blocked it with his violin and put his leg back swinging his violin across the next punch. 

“Fucker.” The mean one said. 

Luke heard a hiss and his violin was wrenched from his hand. Luke growled low in his throat and he was punched across his face, his glasses flew off and he heard them crack as he was kicked in the gut, he came up swinging and hit flesh and bone. He elbowed one in the nose and heard the crunch of it breaking, he bared his teeth and felt an arm come around his neck, he was in a choke hold. He held his breath and pulled with all of his body weight, they both went down hard. He felt arms holding him and realized he was upright and shoved the arms holding him planting his feet on the ground, he took a punch to the face and focused. Luke wobbled on unsteady feet and heard where all of them were, he kicked one in the knee and spun around punching the next one square in the face, he heard the thud of him hitting the snowbank. 

“LUKE.” He heard. Jake was calling him, he was dim and far away. He heard the snap of a switchblade. 

“Don’t.” He said in a shaky voice. 

“Why the fuck not?” Luke heard and his heart twisted. 

Luke heard his rushing feet and blocked the knife with the only weapon he had, his hand. He held the blade in his hand as he threw all of his weight into the punch with his other hand. The punch was blocked and Luke felt pain shoot up his arm, he held the blade and looked down at the blur with the black top as they stood frozen in place. 

The mean one called out “Someone’s comin’.” 

Luke felt the shock of searing pain as the knife was pulled away from his hand and dropped to his knees howling in pain. 

“Let’s go.” The mean one said. 

Luke heard rushing feet and held his wrist hissing his breath in and out. 

“LUKE.” Jake called out as he came rushing up beside him. 

Luke heard the men running away cackling. 

“Got him.” The slurred one called out. “Faggot.”

“Jesus.” Jake said. Luke felt his arm around him as the pain seared through his hand and down his arm, his head was swimming with dizziness and pain. 

“Yes, I need an ambulance.” Jake said quickly holding him up with one arm. “My roommate was attacked with a knife.” 

“Mickey.” He said and hissed.

“Oh my God!” He heard. Mrs. Lombardi swirled in front of him. 

“Mickey.” He said again. 

“Yes.” Mrs. Lombardi said. “I’ll call him.” 

“NO.” He shot out. 

Luke vaguely heard Jake tell the person on the phone where they were, he felt something covering his hand and tighten, he let out a long grunt of pain and grit his teeth hissing out a breath. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Mrs. Lombardi said. Luke heard the tears in her voice. Mrs. Lombardi held both of his hands, keeping pressure on one hand and holding the other. 

“Don’t call him.” He hissed. “He can’t….” Luke felt the swirl of sickness rise up in him. 

“Alright now.” Jake said. “They’re comin’” Luke felt something warm around his back, Jake had taken off his coat to put over him. Jakes arms rubbed up and down his back hard as he held him. 

“You’re cold.” He said. 

“I’m alright brother.” Jake said. Luke focused on Jake’s low soothing voice and the sirens of the ambulance as they came closer. 

“My father drove an ambulance.” He said leaning on Jake. 

“Yes he did.” Jake said. “He was a good man.” 

Luke nodded and felt a wave of dizziness. 

‘Concussion.’ He thought closing his eyes. 

“Stay awake now.” Jake said. “Stay with me.” 

“I’m awake.” He said focusing on the ambulance siren. He opened his eyes and saw only moving color and light. 

“Good, that’s good.” Jake said. “Tell me about your father.” 

“Which one?” He asked. 

Jake let out a short laugh. “Ian.” Jake said. 

“He’s a triangle.” He said. 

“Hows that now?” Jake said with laughter in his voice. 

“Clear and bright.” Luke said. 

“He is?” Jake said. 

“Yes.” He said. “Triangles make different tones depending on how hard you hit them.”

“That they do brother.” Jake said and held him tighter. “That they do.”

Luke heard the ambulance siren and saw the lights flashing. 

“HERE! OVER HERE.” Mrs. Lombardi called out. Luke heard the tires stop and let out a long breath.

Ambulances brought memories of his father, his light and his sweet soul, they brought memories of triangles and orchestras and family. 

Jake held onto him as they lifted him onto the stretcher, Mrs. Lombardi held his hand as they wheeled him into the ambulance. Luke was losing focus, they asked him questions but he couldn’t make his mouth answer them, he vaguely heard Jake answer their questions. 

“Luke.” He heard a woman’s voice say. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes.” He said. 

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Luke Milkovich Gallagher.” He said and felt his eyes sting with hot tears. 

The memory flashed of Ian’s voice in another ambulance flashed through his mind. 

“You’re OK now.” Ian said. 

“Jake.” He said holding out his hand and felt Jake take it. 

“Right here.” Jake said. 

“Don’t call him” He said. 

“OK.” Jake said. “Just relax.” 

“He can’t go through anymore.” He said and felt his tears rush from his eyes. 

“He won’t.” Jake said soothing him and held his hand tighter. 

“You’re alright now” Jake said. Luke took a deep breath and felt the tears fall down the side of his face. The ambulance started to move and he felt a warm blanket come over his body, he felt a warmth flow over his soul and Ian’s face came to him. 

“You’re OK man, I’ve got you.” He heard Ian’s clear honest voice as it rang through his heart. 

“Triangle.” Luke whispered. 

Luke held onto Ian’s voice and heard the clear bright tone of the triangle all the way to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

Jake stood outside the room they were working on Luke with his arms crossed and pushing his hand through his hair. He had almost not turned around when he heard the laughter coming from down the street but he did, thank the Blessed Virgin Mary. Jake crossed himself quickly and pulled out his crucifix from the chain around his neck and held it to his lips. He looked through the glass and watched Luke, he was staring up at the ceiling, he hadn’t lost consciousness somehow. Jake watched them hang a bag of clear liquid and blood on the stand and it flowed in Luke’s arm. 

A doctor came to the door and opened it, he was tall and thin and had a hard scowling face. 

“Are you family?” The doctor said. 

“I am.” He said. 

The doctor gave him a long look and took off his gloves. 

“Please sir.” He said. “He’s my friend.” 

The doctor’s eyes softened and he looked in through the glass. 

“He’s going to be alright.” He said. 

Jake let out the air he was holding. 

“He’s a tough kid.” He said. 

“Yes sir.” He said nodding. 

The doctor threw his gloves into a bin.

Jake looked through the glass, Jake saw a nurse holding a syringe up and Luke shaking his head. 

The doctor pushed through the door and walked up beside Luke, the doctor’s face softened and Luke shook his head again and closed his eyes. The doctor nodded to the nurse and looked down at Luke. 

“Jake!” He heard. He turned and saw Mrs. Lombardi rushing over to him, her face was covered with tears and she still had her house coat on and curlers in her hair. 

“He’s alright.” He said immediately. Her eyes slammed shut and she held a handkerchief to her nose as she stopped. 

“Alright now.” He said as he walked over and slid his arms around her shaking shoulders. 

“Shh, shh, shh.” He soothed and rubbed her back. 

“Come see for yourself, he’s awake and just fine.” He said and guided her to the door. 

Mrs. Lombardi sniffed and looked through the glass. 

Jake rubbed her shoulder as she wiped the tears away from her eyes. 

“There now.” He said. Mrs. Lombardi nodded and he pulled her in for a hug, she patted his chest and sniffed. 

“Did you call Louisa?” She asked. 

“Not yet.” He said with a long sigh. 

“I will.” Mrs. Lombardi said. 

“Aw now honey, you sure about that?” He asked.

Mrs. Lombardi straightened and wiped her nose. She opened her handbag with a click and nodded dropping her handkerchief inside, her face changed and she pulled out her cell phone. 

“Yes.” She said firmly. 

Jake rubbed a hand over her shoulder and looked through the glass as she walked away from the doors. Mrs. Lombardi was a rock, there was a time for tears and a time for action. Mrs. Lombardi knew what needed to be done and did it. 

Jake heard her soft motherly tone as she spoke quietly to Lou. He knew she’d say the right thing, she’s make sure Lou knew Luke was fine but she needed to come. Women were amazing beautiful creatures, all light and softness beauty and strength and he loved every single one of them. 

The doctor came toward the door again, Jake stepped back and the doctor looked down the hall. 

“Is she family?” The doctor asked. 

Jake opened his mouth. 

“Yes I am.” Mrs. Lombardi said and turned her head back into the phone. 

“I’m talking to the doctor now, don’t worry.“ She said into the phone “I will yes. Bye.” 

Mrs. Lombardi hit the button on the phone and turned her eyes to the doctor. 

“And you are..?” The doctor asked. 

“Still young enough to put you over my knee, how is he?” She asked. She held her purse firmly and glared at the doctor. 

The doctor laughed and his eyes softened again. 

“He’s going to be fine.” The doctor said. “He has a concussion, he’ll have to stay overnight for observation.” 

Mrs. Lombardi took a deep breath and nodded. Jake stood beside her and he saw her eyes fill up and she blinked them back. 

“His girlfriend is on her way.” Mrs. Lombardi said. 

“Good.” The doctor said. He paused and looked between them and pushed the clipboard against his hand. 

“He’s not alright?!” Mrs. Lombardi asked. 

“He’s be fine.” The doctor said. 

“But?!” Mrs. Lombardi said. 

“He’s refusing all pain medications.” The doctor said quietly. 

“What?” Mrs. Lombardi breathed out and her eyes filled. 

“Is he a recovering addict?” He asked quietly.

“No sir.” Jake said. “He barely drinks.”

Jake looked into the room and saw Luke’s face, he was breathing heavily with his eyes closed, Jake could see the pain rippling over his face. 

“His momma was a junkie.” He said. 

“I see.” The doctor said letting out a long breath and held the chart by his side. 

“There’s nothing I can do if he refuses.” The doctor said carefully. 

The doctor turned back into the room and the door swung closed behind him, Jake watched him walk over to Luke and say something. Luke turned his head away from him and the doctor glanced over to the glass looking out at them. 

Luke had said no again. 

Mrs. Lombardi pushed her hand against her mouth. 

“Can you talk to him?” Mrs. Lombardi asked. 

“I can try but he sure ain’t gonna listen to me.” He said. 

Mrs. Lombardi reached out her hand and Jake held her strong hand in his. 

“You have to call him.” She said. 

“I know.” He said quietly. 

Jake took a step back and pulled out his phone, Mrs. Lombardi gave his hand a pat before letting it go. He walked down the hall to find somewhere quiet, he looked around a corner and saw a small empty waiting room. He let out a breath and sat down, he looked down at his phone and dialed. 

 

Mickey lifted his beer and waved at Kev for another, Kev took his sweet time walking over. 

"..and then I said ‘Why was there a guy in your fucking closet?” Kev said waving his arms out. 

“Jesus.” He said rolling his eyes. He had heard this story twenty times already. 

Kev pulled his beer and Mickey watched his wave it into the air. Mickey pushed his tongue into his cheek and glared at him. Kev ignored him and kept talking. 

“And she says. ‘But daddy, I love him.’ Kev waved his beer higher.

“Can you believe that shit?” Kev said and walked over. 

Mickey reached a hand out and Kev turned to Tommy, Mickey saw Tommy’s smile. Mickey glared and shook his head. Tommy smirked and looked away. 

“Love?” Kev said. “She’s 15.”

Tommy nodded and Mickey drummed his fingers on the bar to keep them from wringing Kev’s neck. 

“YO!” He yelled out. 

“Huh.” Kev said and turned to him. “Oh ya.” Kev put the beer down. 

“Fucking A.” He said and picked up his beer. 

His phone vibrated and his hand froze in mid drink, he slapped the beer down to the bar growling pushing his hand into his jeans and pulled his phone out. 

“Girls man.” Kev said shaking his head. 

“Ya and you have how many?” He said with a smile. 

Kev sighed and wiped down the bar. 

Mickey hit accept. “Ya.” He said lifting his beer. 

“Mickey?” 

Mickey heard the long southern drawl and stopped, he held the phone out in front of him and saw Jake on the screen, he put the phone back to his ear. 

“Hey man” He said with a smile. 

“Hello.” Jake said. 

There was silence. 

“Jake.” He said. His heart started beating faster in his chest. 

“Yes sir.” Jake said. “First let me..”

“Man, what I’d give for a fucking boy.” Kev said. 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Mickey shot out. Kev stepped back and Mickey shoved himself off of the stool. 

...alright.” He heard.

“Tell me right now.” He snapped. 

“Luke’s been hurt.” Jake said. Mickey felt his heart clench and his breath stop. 

“Where is he?” He choked out. He whipped his coat up and the stool clamored to the floor and he stormed through the bar. 

“He’s at the hospital, in the emergency.” Jake said. 

Mickey felt the pressure rise and his heart tear. He pushed open the door and didn’t feel the cold biting wind as he rushed to the truck and wrenched open the door and pulled himself in. 

“He’s alright.” Jake said. “He’s awake and arguing with the doctors.” 

Mickey pushed his hands to his eyes hard, he pulled his teeth back hissing in his breath. 

“Mickey.” Jake said. 

“Ya.” He said. His throat was tight with his lungs slamming shut. 

“He’s alright.” Jake said firmly. 

Mickey shoved the key in the ignition and slammed his foot on the gas. The engine roared to life and he pulled the door closed. 

“Let me talk to him.” He said. 

Mickey pulled his coat on and waited, he closed his eyes and felt the sick dread that was his worst memory. 

“It’s his father.” He heard Jake say. 

“I told you not to fucking call him!” He heard Luke’s voice and he felt the air move through his lungs again.

“Yell at me later friend.” Jake said. 

“Fuck.” He heard Luke say. “Hey.” Luke said into the phone. 

“You OK?” He shot out. 

“Ya.” Luke said. “He shouldn’t have called, it’s nothing.” 

“Ya OK?!” He said and put the truck in reverse and pulled out fast.

“How are you?” Luke asked casually. 

Mickey smirked and braced his arm on the door. 

“How am I?” He said. 

“Ya.” Luke said. 

“Jesus kid you’re killin me. “ Mickey said and let out a long breath.

“I’m fine.” Luke said.

“Oh ya? Well how bout’ I just come and make sure huh?” He said.

He hit end and threw the phone across the truck, he took long slow breaths as he red lined it all the way to the airport. 

 

Luke was drifting, his thoughts would float away like a feather and he couldn’t hold on to them. 

“Someone gave me drugs.” He said very slowly. 

“Ya someone did.” He knew that voice, that was Mickey. 

“Helllooo.” He said. 

“Hey.” Mickey said. 

Luke smacked his lips and turned his head. 

‘I didn’t really want the drugs.” He said with a sigh. 

“Too bad.” Mickey said. 

Luke giggled.

Mickey snorted out a laugh and Luke tried to open his eyes. They were heavy and he heaved them up with a lot of effort. He saw blue and white with a black top. 

“You’re not on fire.” He said slowly. 

“No I’m not.” Mickey said. 

“That’s good though.” Luke said. 

“Ya.” Mickey said. 

He heard a light giggle and smiled. 

“Lou?” He said. “Is that my Louisa.” 

“It is.” She said. 

He saw her blur come over him and he tried to focus, he felt his eyes cross and smiled as she bent down and kissed his cheek. 

“Aw that’s nice.” He said and smiled. 

“You’re fucking stoned.” Mickey said. 

“Ya I am.” He sighed out. 

Lou giggled again and he smiled wider. 

“My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” He said lifting his eyebrows. 

Louisa bent over and kissed him gently on the lips. 

“Jeez.” Mickey said. 

“But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Louisa is the sun. Arise, fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she.” He said. 

He felt Louisa hand and heard her light laugh. 

“OK you go.” He said. 

Louisa laughed again and he sighed wistfully. 

“O Romeo, Romeo!” Louisa said. “Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet.”

Louisa stopped.

“And…?” He said. 

“Tis but thy name that is my enemy! Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man.”

“Maaann, Shakespeare was so dirty.” He said. 

Louisa giggled and he heard her sniff. 

“Whassamatter?” He said. 

“Nothing.” She said. “I’m just happy.” 

“Oh OK.” He said. “That’s OK.” 

Luke floated and felt Lou’s hand in his, he heard a door open quietly and he tried to focus his ears but they blurred with the feathers. 

“Hey.” Jake said. “How ya doin?”

“Jake!” He said. “Aww I shoulda known.” 

“He’s stoned out of his mind.” Mickey said. 

“Well this I gotta see.” Jake said with a laugh.

“HA!” Luke shot out. “Nope.” Luke turned his head and thought unfeathery thoughts. Romeo and Juliet floated through his mind. 

“Romeo he cries aloud.” Luke said raising his hand out. “Hold, friends! Friends part and swifter than his tongue! His agile arm beats down their fatal points and 'twixt them rushes, underneath whose arm an envious thrust from Tybalt hit the life of stout Mercutio and then Tybalt fled!!” Luke said widening his eyes. 

“Uh huh.” Mickey said. “Hey where’s his vio..”

“But..” Luke said holding up a finger. “By and by comes back to Romeo, who had but newly entertained revenge and to they go like lightning for I could draw to part them was stout Tybalt slain and as he fell, did Romeo turn and fly.”

Luke shook his head slowly. 

“This is the truth or let Benvolio die.” He said letting his hand fall to the bed. 

There was silence. 

“You done?” Mickey asked. 

He heard Jake’s rumbly laugh. 

He thought for a second. “Ya think so.”

“Good.” Mickey said. 

“Thanks.” Luke said and smiled toward Mickey. 

Mickey laughed and let out a long sigh. 

“Seeee not stoned.” He said. 

“Not at all brother.” Jake said. 

Luke nodded once and rested his brain. 

 

Mickey sat by Luke’s bed watching him sleep. Whatever they gave him had looped him the fuck out but he wasn’t in any pain, the only side effect was the constant Shakespeare. That was OK as long as he wasn’t in pain but if he had to hear one more thy or thee he might lose his fucking mind. Luke had never been on this much pain medication, he was hell bent on not taking it but he had taken care of that shit real quick. 

He had stormed into the hospital and found Lou and Jake.

Lou pointed and he followed her finger, he shoved open the door and saw Luke glaring at the doctor with clenched teeth. Luke’s eye was almost black and his lip was split. 

“Give him the fucking drugs.” He said as he walked to the bedside. 

“Fuck you.” Luke had hissed. Mickey put his hand on his shoulder and looked down at his face, his heart raging. 

“Who are you?” The doctor said. 

“I’m his fucking father, give him the drugs.” He said keeping his eyes on Luke. 

“No.” Luke said. 

“I’ll give you a minute.” The doctor said. Mickey took a step back and took off his coat, Luke closed his eyes and he saw a tear slide down on side of his face. 

“Hey.” Mickey said quietly. “You’re OK.”

Luke held his mouth together tightly and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“No I’m not.” Luke said in a rush. 

“What..” Mickey said. Luke lifted his hand and that’s when he saw it, Luke’s hand was bandaged. Mickey’s heart sank in his chest, playing violin was everything to Luke, it’s who he was. 

“How bad?” he asked looking back and forth between his hand and his face. 

Luke shrugged and his eyes filled with tears, he let out the pressure in his lungs and his shoulders started shaking. Mickey sat on the edge of the bed and Luke’s arm went around him. Mickey lifted him up until Luke’s head rested on his shoulder. 

Mickey held him as he shook. 

“You’re gonna be fine.” He said and gave Luke a hard hug. “You hear me?” 

Luke nodded against his shoulder. 

“You’re taking the drugs.” He said. He felt Luke start to pull away. 

“Hey.” He said and held onto him. “You’re taking them if I have to shove them down your fucking throat.”

Luke sighed. “You’re not like other dads.” Luke said. 

“You got that right.” He said and patted the back of Luke’s head. Luke sniffed and Mickey let him go but held his arm to guide him back down watching him grimace in pain. 

“YO!” He called out. “What’s his name?” He asked Luke. 

“I don’t know.” Luke said. 

“You don’t know his fucking name?” Mickey asked. 

Luke grimaced in pain again. 

Mickey stood up and walked toward the door as the doctor stepped in. 

“You bellowed.” The doctor said. 

Mickey smirked. “Give him the drugs.” He said. 

“Oh?” The doctor said.

“Ya oh!” Mickey said and rolled his eyes. 

The doctor walked closer to the bed and Mickey saw his eyes soften, OK he wasn’t a total dick. 

“Luke?” He said. 

Luke didn’t answer him. Mickey scowled and stared bullets at him even though he had his eyes closed and couldn’t see him even if they were open.

“Alright! Jesus.” Luke said. “Stop!”

“Good.” The doctor said. 

“Load him up” He said. 

“I told them not to call you ya know.” Luke said.

“Ya well, they did.” He said. 

Luke grumbled. 

“Ahh family.” The doctor said. Luke snorted out a laugh and Mickey smiled. 

“I’ll be right back.” He said. 

“Oh ya? Who’s watchin’ this guy?” Luke said rolling his eyes open.

The doctor laughed a low evil laugh and Luke’s eyes opened wide. 

Mickey laughed and walked out the door. 

“Hey.” He said and Lou and Jake turned to him. 

“Is he taking them?” Lou asked. Mickey could see the hurt in her eyes. 

“Ya.” He said. 

Lou let out a long breath and pushed her hand over her forehead. Mickey lifted a hand and rubbed her back.

“He’s stubborn as fuck.” He said. 

“Yes he is.” Jake said. 

“Go ahead in, he’s getting all drugged.” He said. 

Lou nodded and took another deep breath. 

“Hey.” He said. “He’s gonna be fine.”

Lou nodded and he smiled, she tried to smile back at him but Mickey she was still worried. Jake rubbed her back and they turned toward the door. Mickey took his phone out of his pocket as he walked around the corner. 

He scrolled down and hit call as he crossed his arm over his chest. 

“Hello?” Westford said in a half asleep voice. 

“Hey it’s Mickey.” He said. 

“Mickey? What the fuck time is it?”

“I don’t know, late.” He snapped. “Listen man, Luke was hurt.”

“What?” Westford said. 

“He’s OK.” He said. 

“What’s wrong?” He heard David say. 

“It’s Luke.” Westford said. 

“Mickey?” David said. Westford had turned on the speaker phone. 

“Ya.” He said. “He’s alright, he’s at the hospital and I’m here.” 

“What happened?” David said. Mickey heard the caring in his voice. David was one of the nicest people he had ever met. 

“He got jumped.” Mickey said and pushed a hand over his face. 

“Jesus.” Westford said. 

“They cut his hand.” He said. 

Mickey heard the sharp intake of breath. 

“Oh my God.” Westford said quietly. 

“Ya.” He said. 

“How bad?” Westford said. 

“I don’t know.” He hissed. 

“The best doctors are probably in New York.” David said. 

“Probably?” Mickey said. 

“I’ll find out.” Westford said. 

“Are you OK?” David asked. Mickey felt his heart drop, he pulled the phone away from his mouth shifting his feet. 

“Ya.” He said blinking his eyes. 

“Luke’s OK.” Westford said. He wasn’t asking him, he was telling him. 

Mickey heard the words and closed his eyes. 

“He’s OK.” He said and pushed his fingers over his eyes. 

“I’ll call you back with a name.” Westford said. 

“Ya.” Mickey breathed out. “Thanks man.” 

Mickey hit end and let himself fall back against the wall and slide down to the floor. He sat with his knees up holding the phone and felt the rush of relief wash through him, his eyes stung with tears and he felt his heart ache. He sat there for a long few minutes getting his shit together before he went back in to see Luke.


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey sat back crossing his ankles pushed his fingers over his eyes. Lou was sleeping on a sleep chair the nurses brought in the room, she had stayed up most of the night but had finally fallen asleep a couple hours ago. 

The door opened and Mickey glared at the doctor as he came in, the doctor paused and very quietly walked over to Luke’s bedside. Mickey watched him like a hawk and kept his eyes on him as he turned back and opened the door and quietly slipped out. The noises got louder in the hallway and he knew that meant the day shift had arrived. He knew for his months practically living in a hospital there was no sleeping with them around. 

As soon as he thought it the door opened and a young bouncy nurse came into the room pushing a computer on wheels. 

“Good morning.” She said brightly. Mickey waved and gave her a half smile. Lou turned her head and blinked her eyes open, she stood up pushing the blanket away and sat on Luke’s hospital bed. 

“I’m Lisa.” She said as she walked to the stand beside Luke. She looked over everything and turned back to the computer. 

“Looking good.” She said with a smile. 

“Who me?” Luke said. 

“Yep.” Lisa said smiling. 

“Hmph.” Luke mumbled. “Liar.” 

Lisa laughed and Lou smiled rubbing her hand over Luke’s arm.

“You still stoned?” He asked. 

Luke’s eyebrows came together but his eyes stayed closed. 

“I don’t know.” Luke said. 

“You didn’t answer in Shakespeare gobblygook so maybe not.” He said. 

Lou giggled and Luke turned his head toward her. 

“Shakespeare?” Luke whispered.

“Yeah.” Lou said with a laugh. 

“You should be an actor.” Lisa said as she typed. “That was the best St. Crispin’s day speech I’ve ever heard.” 

Mickey smiled as he watched Luke’s face turn red. 

“This is your fault.” Luke said turning his head toward him. 

“Me?” He said with a smile. “What the fuck did I do?”

“HA!” Luke shot out. “I didn’t want drugs but nooo you said you’d shove them down my throat.”

“Well ya.” He said. Lisa and Lou giggled. 

“AND.” Luke said holding a finger up. “He stared at me.” 

Mickey rolled his eyes. 

“Stared.” Luke said firmly. 

“He did?” Lou said. 

“Yes and it was very uncomfortable.” Luke said. 

Lou nodded with a big smile and looked over at him, Mickey put his hands out and shrugged. 

“That’s rough.” Lisa said. 

“Right?” Luke said. 

“That parent stare.” Lisa said with a shake of her head. “The worst.”

“It is!!” Luke said. “Lisa totally gets me!”

Lou nodded and murmured her agreement. 

Mickey smiled and felt his heart ease, Luke knew Lisa’s name even though he was still pretty stoned. Luke always called people by their names and always remembered them. 

Lisa smiled at him and he rolled his eyes up. 

“If you need anything, give me a buzz.” She said as she turned to Luke. 

“I will.” Luke said. 

Lisa pulled up his blankets to his shoulder and adjusted his call bell within reach and smiled at Lou. 

“If you need anything let me know.” Lisa said. 

Lou nodded and smiled up at her. 

Lisa pushed the computer that was almost as big as her toward the door and smiled as she rolled past and out the door. 

“Bye Lisa.” Luke said. It was a little delayed, Lisa was already gone but the thought was there. 

“Sooo what the plan for today.” Luke said. 

“I don’t know, we could stay here.” She said shrugging. 

“Hm.” Luke twisted his mouth back and forth. 

Mickey saw Ian’s face twisting back and forth and smiled. 

“There’s food and nurses bringing you shit.” He said. 

“True.” Luke said. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Hark who goes there!” Luke called out. Mickey laughed and glanced over as the door opened. He sat up straight and he braced his elbows on the arms of the chair. 

Cops. 

There were two of them and they looked like cutouts, they were both tall and built with sandy brown hair crew cut hair.

“Luke Milkovich Gallagher?” One sandy hand cut out said. 

“Present.” Luke said. 

Lou smiled and shook her head. 

“He’s on a lot of meds.” Lou said. 

“This will just take a minute.” One flipped open a little ipad and looked over at him, Mickey sat back casually and kept his eyes on the cop. 

“You good man?” He asked. 

“Uhhh ya.” Luke said. 

“We should do this as soon as we can.” One cop said. 

“Just try and remember anything about them.” The other said. 

Mickey snorted out a laughed and one cop shot him a dirty look. 

“There were four of them.” Luke said. 

Mickey crossed his arms while Luke told the cops everything in detail, right down to what their shoes sounded like. 

“Did you see any of them?” One cop said. 

“No.” Luke said.

“Did they say anything to you?” The other cop asked. 

“No.” Luke said. 

“Are you sure?” One cop said. 

Luke turned his unfocused eyes on him. 

“One of them…”Luke paused and took a slow breath. “One of them called me a faggot.” 

“I see.” One cop said and tsked as he shook his head. 

“Oh shit.” Luke said. 

Mickey stood up quick and the cop glanced over at him. 

“You see what?” He shot out.

The cop put a hand up and the other put his hand on his hips. 

“What the fuck do you see?” He said stepping up to the cop glaring at him. 

“You think he got jumped because he’s fucking gay?” Mickey hissed out. 

“I didn’t say that.” The cop said. 

“You kinda did.” Luke said. 

“Shhh.” Lou said. 

Mickey smiled and nodded. “Ya, you did.” He said. 

The cop smirked and looked down shaking his head. 

Mickey felt the rage boil through him, he clenched his fists and glared at him with a deadly smile. 

“Just another fag bash huh?” He said shrugging. “Who the fuck gives a fuck about that, not you?” 

“Nah.” Mickey said shaking his head. “If you’re gonna suck a cock, you should fucking expect the get your head bashed in right?”

“Alright.” The cop said and put his hand up. “That’s enough.”

Mickey pushed a hand over his smiling lips. 

“Ya know what’s really fucking funny.” He said and took a step forward. 

“Miickkeeeyy.” Luke said. 

“Ya, one sec.” He said. 

“I’ll tell you cuz man it’s really fucking funny.” He said. 

The cop braced his arms in front of him and set his face to neutral. 

“I could drop down to my fucking knees right now and suck you off and you’d fucking love it.” He said. 

The cops eyes widened and he saw him turn red. 

“Oh ya.” He said with a wicked smile. “Your eyes would be rollin’ up in your head and shit.”

“Oh Jesus.” Luke said and smacked his head with his good hand. 

“You’d be beggin’ for it.” He said. 

The other cop put an arm out in front of him and he kept his eyes on the other one, his eyes flickered away. Mickey licked his lips and smiled. 

“I’m not gay.” Luke said. 

“That’s for fucking sure.” Lou said. She was glaring at the cops with her hand in Luke’s.

“Mickey is though.” Luke said with a bright smile. 

Both cops turned to him. 

“Ya? You got somethin’ to say?” He barked at them. 

They both looked away.

“Thought so.” He said with a smirk. 

The cops turned back to Luke. 

“You were carrying a violin?” One cop asked. 

‘Yes.” Luke said. “Where is it?” 

“Mrs. Lombardi has it.” Lou said. 

“Is it broken?” Luke asked. 

“No, it’s fine.” Lou said. 

Luke let out a long slow breath. 

“Is it worth a lot of money?” The other cop asked. 

“They didn’t even know it was a violin.” Luke said. 

“Your roommate said one of the men said ‘Got him’ as he ran away.” 

Mickey whipped his head around and glared at the cop. 

“What?” He said. 

Luke’s head turned to him and he saw his eyes fill with worry, he walked through the cops toward Luke. 

“Back up.” He said putting a hand up, the cop backed up. Mickey sat on the bed and rested his hand over Luke’s hand closed over Lou’s. 

“Who knows you’re gay?” One cop said. Mickey’s head went back and he looked over at the cop with wide eyes. 

“It may be relevant.” The cop said. 

Mickey looked back at Luke and Lou, they were both looking at the cops with identical pissed off looks on their faces. 

“Jesus.” Mickey hissed out. “Everybody knows I’m fucking gay alright.” He held up his hand with his hand with his wedding ring. 

“13 years.” Mickey said. 

“To a man?” One said. Mickey mouth opened and his jaw cracked as he looked away. 

“Name.” The other cop said. 

“Huuh?” He turned to them widening his eyes. 

“Youurr…partner..husband?! The cop said shaking his head with a smirk. 

“Wow.” Luke said. 

“What are you fuckin’ stupid?” Lou said. 

Mickey clenched his fist and glared at him. 

“Ian Gallagher.” He said. He watched him type in the name and saw his eyes widen as his eyes moved over the screen. 

The cop’s eyes came up to his and he saw the shock in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” The cop said quietly. 

“Oh now you fucking care?” He said. “Now? Not when my kid is fucked up and bleeding on the ground?! Fuck your I’m sorry and fuck you.” 

The room went silent except for the beeping of the monitors. 

“You should go.” Lou said. Mickey looked down at the bed and shook his head, he felt Lou’s hand slid out and she stood up from her side of the bed. 

“GO.” She said opening the door. “Out, out, out.”

“He really is stupid.” Luke said. 

“Ya.” Mickey said and smirked when the cops looked back as Lou waved them out the door. She closed the door behind her and put her hands on her hips. 

“Well that went well.” She said. 

“HA!” Luke shot out. 

Lou’s face softened as she looked down at Luke. 

“I wasn’t that funny.” She said. 

“Sure it was.” Luke said. 

Mickey smiled down at him, his eyes were closed again and he had a silly smile on his face. 

“I’ll call my lieutenant and get some real cops on this.” She said and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Why didn’t you tell them?” Mickey asked. 

“I can’t be a cop right now.” She said in a shaky voice. 

“Aww.” Luke said softly. “Come here.” He said and she walked around the bed, she climbed in next to Luke sniffing. 

“OK.” Luke said. Mickey let go of his hand and he wrapped his arm around Lou as she settled over his chest with her eyes closed. 

“We’re OK.” Luke said gently pushing his hand over her hair. “Everything’s OK.” 

Lou wiped her eyes and nodded against Luke’s chest. Mickey lifted his hand to Lou arm and she opened her eyes, he saw the fear in her eyes and the love for Luke. Mickey rubbed her arm and she closed her eyes and snuggled into Luke’s chest. Mickey stood up and walked quietly across the room. 

“Hey.” Luke said. 

“Ya.” He said. 

“Who are you calling?” Luke said. 

“All your fucking godfathers.” He said with a wicked smile. 

Luke nodded and turned his head over Lou’s closing his eyes. 

Mickey pulled the door and walked out of the room letting the door close behind him. 

 

Sutter sat with Jake in the hospital cafeteria and he went through what had happened with Luke. 

“You saw them?” He said. 

“Not really.” Jake drawled out. “It was dark and I wasn’t payin attention.” Jake looked away and grimaced. 

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known.” He said. Jake shook his head and pushed his hands together. 

“He’s a good friend.” Jake said. 

“Ya he is.” He said with a smile. 

“You’re known him since he was a kid?” Jake asked. 

“Yeah.” He said. 

Jake nodded and looked down at his hands, he lowered them to the table lightly and tapped out a beat. 

“I heard a laugh.” Jake said. “I almost didn’t look over but I saw Luke walking with these men around him and Luke ya know he’s a pretty friendly guy but something made me look and I swear I have never seen anything like it, Luke was takin’ on four of em?!” 

He smiled and picked up his coffee. Jake shook his head with wide eyes. 

“You looked over and then what happened.” He asked. 

“Luke was swingin’ his violin case around, one guy came up behind him and got him in a choke hold. I lost my breath watchin’ it and I was running as fast as I could. They went down and I think Luke was knocked out for a second. Next thing I know two guys are on the ground and the little one had the knife. Luke didn’t even have his glasses on and I swear my heart stopped but Luke grabbed the knife with his hand and Luke is screamin,’ the guys start runnin’and I finally got to Luke.” Jake let out a long breath and wiped his hand down his face. 

“Did they say anything?” He asked. 

“Got him’.” Jake said. “One of em said ‘got him’ and called him a nasty name.”

“Faggot?” He said. 

“Yes sir.” Jake drawled out and crossed his arms. “I will not say that word, it is vile and disgutin’”

“It is.” He said. 

“Do you remember anything about them?” Sutter asked. 

“It’s all kinda blurry.” Jake said. 

Jake looked down and pushed his finger back and forth over his chin. 

James watched his eyes and knew there was something he hadn’t said yet. 

“There was one thing.” Jake said. “It’s nothing though.” 

“What?” He said.

“He said Mickey.” Jake said. 

“Luke did?” He asked. Jake nodded. 

“It struck me as odd that’s all.” Jake said. “It’s the first thing he said.”

“When?” He asked. 

“I ran up and Luke was holding his wrist and said ‘Mickey’.”

“They’ve been through a lot.” He said. 

“I know.” Jake said and waved a hand. “Like I said it was nothin’”

“Luke’s very protective.” He said and laughed. “Believe it or not.”

“Oh I know, my momma could skin a man but if anyone looked at her funny I’d be on that like a tick on a dog.”

“A tick on a dog?” He said. 

“Yes sir.” Jake said and smiled . 

James smiled lifting his coffee mug and asked Jake more questions. 

 

Mickey was pacing and pushing his finger over his mouth from his crossed arms. It had been hours and not one godfather had come up with anything, if this was Chicago he could find out in ten minutes but not here. Luke was being released, they were waiting for the specialist Westford had found and then he was taking Luke home, home to fucking Chicago where he knew all the thugs that beat the shit outta people and could find a nice big hole to bury their bodies after a long painful discussion. 

“What the fuck?” He hissed and turned around. He saw the doctor walking to Luke’s room and started toward him. 

“Hey.” He nodded. 

“Hey.” The doctor said. “Who do you know to get Ambrose?” 

“Huh.” He said. 

“The hand doctor.”

“Oh.” He said. “I have a genie.” 

“You have a what?” 

Mickey laughed and bit his lip. 

“I know a guy who knows a guy.” He said. 

“Oh, ahhh anyway I wanted to let you know there’s a couple of kids downstairs with some nasty defensive wounds.”

“Oh ya?” He said and started walking. 

“It might not be them.” The doctor called out. 

Mickey sneered as he walked to the elevator, he shoved at the button and slapped his hand on the door, he shoved off of the wall and turned toward the stairs, he went down the stairs whipping around the corners and opened the door that said ER, he pushed his way past people and carts and looked at every face. His eyes snapped to a big guy with his eyes rimmed with black like a raccoon. Mickey smiled wickedly and remembered teaching Luke how to break a guys nose. 

“Just like that.” He said and walked across the hall. They guy pulled the ice pack away from his nose and hissed out, 

“Fuck.” 

“Oh fuck is right.” He said and the guy looked over at him and his eyes widened and shifted away as Mickey stormed through the door. 

“What the fuck?” He heard as he tackled the guy on the stretcher. 

“You touch my fucking kid.” He hissed and held him down and slammed his fist into his face. He felt his nose crush under his knuckles and pulled his arm back. He felt an arm hook around his and pull him off with a growl. 

“Get off him.” He heard and felt a hard punch, his head snapped back and he blocked the next punch and shoved him. They went down on the floor taking the stretcher and stand with them. Mickey pulled his arm back and looked for his target, he hissed and saw a flash of blue and rage and focused. 

“Do it.” He heard his voice hiss. 

Mickey’s heart knocked against his chest, his own eyes glared up at him and he saw his face twisting up into a hard scowl, it was a face he hadn’t seen in person in a long time but those eyes were his eyes, that scowl was his scowl and the kid under him was his kid. 

“Yevgeny.” He breathed out. 

Everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

Mickey woke up and felt the pain rush through his head immediately, he pushed a hand to his head and grimaced in pain. 

“Ahh fuck.” He said. 

“Yeah, don’t move for a while.” 

Mickey blinked his eyes open and saw the doctor come over him with a light, he squinted as it passed over his eyes. 

“No brain hemorrhage and you’re still swearing so that’s good.” 

“What the fuck happened?” He said rubbing his hand over his head. 

“You got bashed in the head with an IV stand.” 

“Man.” Mickey said and blinked his eyes open carefully. “I didn’t even see it comin.’” 

“Just stay still for a while.”

“Where is he?” He said and pulled himself up on one arm. 

“Luke is upstairs resting, down please.” The doctor pushed gently at his arms and Mickey felt his head roll with pressure as he went down. 

“No.” He said. “The kid.” 

“What kid?”

“The kid…ahh…the one who did this.” He waved a hand at his head. 

“Oh that kid.”

Mickey pushed a hand over his eyes. “Ya.” He said. 

“The cops arrested him, dragged him out kicking and screaming.”

Mickey grimaced. “I bet.” He said. 

Mickey dropped his hand and pushed up again. 

“No, come on.” The doctor said. 

“I have to go.” He said. The doctor was blurring in and out of focus. 

“10 minutes.” The doctor said as he put his hand on his shoulder. 

“Five.” He shot out. 

“Seven.” The doctor shot out. 

“Deal.” He said and let his body fall back to the stretcher. He heard a click and smiled, Luke may not want the drugs but he wanted all of them. 

Mickey felt the wave of bliss wash over him and rolled his eyes open. 

“Nice.” He said smiling. 

“That’s the good stuff.” 

Mickey snorted out a laugh and drifted on the wave. 

“Hey you’re not druggin’ me to keep me here right.” He asked. 

“Nooo.” The doctor said with a shake of his head. 

“Right OK.” He said smiling. “Stupid." 

The doctor laughed beside the bed. 

“Hey, what’s your name?” He asked. 

“Joe Demarco.” 

“My kid’s crazy about names.” He said. “He didn’t know yours sooo….thought I’d let him know.”

“And you’re the Milkovich in Milkovich Gallagher.” Joe said. 

“Ya.” He laughed out. “Some name huh?” He said rolling his eyes. 

“You adopted him?” 

“Yep.” He said. 

Mickey floated on the wave. 

“Who’s the Gallagher in Milkovich Gallgher.” 

“Ian’s the Gallagher.” He said with a smile. “Heh Gallagher.” Mickey laughed to himself. 

“But you split up?” Joe asked. 

“What? No.” He said and sputtered. 

“I’m sorry, I assumed because he wasn’t here.” 

“Nah man.” He said. 

“I see.” Joe said. 

Mickey turned his head and watched him sway back and forth on a little stool. 

“What are you doin’ down here anyway?” He asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be there with Luke.” He waved at the ceiling. 

“Luke is fine, as soon as he sees the hand doctor he’s good to go.” Joe said. 

“Hmph.” He murmured. 

“I’m more worried about you at the moment.” Joe said. 

“Nah man I’m fine.” He said closing his eyes. 

“I can see that.” Joe said in a low voice. 

Mickey moved his eyes behind his eyelids. 

‘Huh?’ He thought. 

“To be honest I came downstairs to ask you if you wanted to go to dinner while you’re here.” Joe said. 

‘Wait..whaaat?’ He thought. 

“But I had assumed you weren’t with anyone, I apologize.” Joe said. 

Mickey tilted his head and tried to wrap his floating brain around what Joe was saying. 

“Did you just ask me out?” He asked. 

“Yes I did.” Joe said and let out a breath. 

Mickey opened his eyes and smiled at him. 

“Like teenagers?” He said. 

“No.” Joe said and shook his head. “Forget it.”

Mickey laughed. “Nah man its fine.” He said. 

Joe shook his head again and smiled at him. 

Mickey lifted his hand. “Married.” He said and wiggled his fingers. 

“I saw.” Joe said. 

“Yep.” He said and closed his eyes. “He’d be trippin’ out right now.”

“He would be?” Joe said. 

“Oh ya!” Mickey sputtered. “Not about you…. well ya about you.” He said with a big smile. 

“He’s jealous? “ Joe said. 

“HA! “ Mickey spat out. “He thought he wasn’t but man he’d get pissed.” 

Mickey giggled and turned to Joe. 

“Like steam comin out of his ears pissed” He said. 

“I bet.” Joe said. 

Mickey sputtered and waved a hand. 

“Nah man, Ian’s the beautiful one.” He said and bit his lip.

“I doubt that” Joe said. 

Mickey gave Joe a hard look reaching into his pocket. 

“Bet.” Mickey said. “Two minutes.” he said as he brought his phone up to his face and hit pictures. 

“Make it five and you’re on.” Joe said. 

Mickey smiled and swiped through the pictures. 

“Huuuh?” He said and turned the phone around, Joe rolled across the floor on his little stool and took the phone. 

“Whoa.” Joe said. 

“Told ya.” He said. 

“Yeah you did.” He said. Mickey laughed wickedly and reached over to swipe to the next picture, he saw the picture of Ian on the beach and waved a hand out. 

“HA!” He said. 

“Yeah.” Joe said and lifted the phone. “Where is this?” 

“Mexico.” Mickey said and closed his eyes. 

“OK yeah you were right.” Joe said nodding. 

Mickey waved a hand up with his eyes closed. 

Mickey drifted along and smiled seeing Ian lift his eyebrows at him with his arms crossed as he took his picture. 

“How long has he been gone?” Joe asked quietly. 

Mickey took a deep breath. “Two years, 3 months and 16 days.” He said. 

Mickey saw Ian smile down at him as he walked backwards toward the water. 

Mickey smiled. “He wouldn’t be like mad mad though.” He said. 

“That’s good.” Joe said with a laugh. “Here.” Mickey felt the phone under his hand and slid it into his pocket. 

“He’d be trippin though.” He said. 

“Yeah?” Joe said. 

“Oh ya.” Mickey said. Mickey looked up at the clock and saw the second hand hit the twelve. 

“Times up.” He said and sat up. 

“Come on.” Joe said. “A couple more minutes.”

Mickey shook his head and stood up, he felt the room shift and held the stretcher behind him. 

“Nah man.” He said. “I have to see my kid.”

“I can wheel you up there.” Joe said and stood up. 

“Not Luke.” Mickey said and started for the door. “My other kid.” 

“You have two?” Joe said. 

“Ya.” He said and giggled. 

Joe smiled and he reached out for the doorknob, he shifted on his feet and bit his lip. He turned around and waved a hand out and shoved it in his pocket. 

“Listen….”He started. 

“Forget it.” Joe said. 

“No.” Mickey said and Joe eyes came to his. “It’s not you man.” Mickey said. 

“OK.” Joe said. 

“I’m…” He started and stopped, he didn’t know to explain. He had always been with Ian always would be. 

“I’m married.” He said shrugging his shoulders up, it was as simple as that. 

Joe nodded and sat down on his little stool. 

“I get it.” Joe said. “Not that I’m not disappointed.” 

“Nah man I’m fucking trouble.” He said. 

“Oh I guessed that already.” Joe said with a wide smile. 

Mickey laughed and pulled the door open. 

“Thanks for the drugs.” He said. “Shit’s kick ass.”

Joe laughed and Mickey closed the door behind him still smiling.

 

Mickey sat in a small room in the police station and pushed his hands together, he tried to squeeze out the tension as he shook his head and pushed his body back. He was boiling with anger but his loyalty to family had brought him here, he didn’t know what he was going to do but he knew he had to at least see him. Mickey remembered when he was little, he was smiling and happy all the time. Mickey would prop him up beside him on the couch and watch those stupid kid shows with all the dizzying bright colors. 

Mickey smiled and remembered dropping toys into his lap and he looked up at him with his bright blue eyes and drool all over the toy with a big smile. Mickey heard the door open and he saw his sons eyes change from smiling and happy in his mind to a glare of hate in front of him. 

“No.” Yev said turning around. “Why the fuck is he here?” 

“He’s your lawyer?” The cop said.

“My lawyer?” He said. “Does he look like a lawyer?”

Mickey crossed his arms, he had point. He was wearing the same jeans he had left Chicago in the night before. 

“I don’t give a rat’s ass.” The cop said. “They said bring a con to meet his lawyer, I bring the con to meet his lawyer.” 

The cop lifted his hand and pushed him back, he stumbled into the room and the cop pulled the door closed with a slam. Mickey watched him glare at the door and slowly bring his eyes to his, he braced on his legs and turned his head, his right eye was ringed with a dark purple bruise. 

Mickey shoved his foot against the chair across from him and pushed it away from the table. 

“Sit.” He said. 

“Fuck you.” Yev said. 

Mickey scowled and turned his head. 

“You know who I am?” He asked.

Yev leaned against the wall crossing his arms. 

“You know who Luke is.” He said in a low voice. 

Mickey saw his eyes shift for a second and Yev rolled his eyes sputtering. 

“So the fuck what, we beat his ass that’s all.” Yev said. 

“You beat his ass?” Mickey said with a slow wicked smile. “Nah kid, he beat your ass! You’re limping and you didn’t get that black eye from me.” He said pointing at his chest.

“Whatever.” Yev said with a shrug. 

“Hm.” Mickey said nodding. It was like looking in a mirror to his younger self, his eyes and jawline were his. He saw his mother’s nose and cheekbones, Mickey may have thought he was good looking back in the day but he was nothing compared to this kid. 

“How’d you find Luke?” He asked with a nod of his head. 

Yev smirked and his eyes narrowed. 

“There’s this thing, it’s called the internet.” Yev said. 

Mickey almost smiled at his sarcastic answer. 

“Where’s your mother?” Mickey asked. 

He scowled and rolled his eyes. “I don’t fucking know.” He spat out. 

“You don’t know?” He said. “Where the fuck do you live?

“Why the fuck do you care?” He said pushing off from the wall. 

Mickey slapped his hand down on the table.

“Where do you live Yevgeny, tell me right the fuck now.” Mickey shot out. 

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Yev hissed and Mickey saw the pure fury in his eyes. “Don’t you EVER fucking call me that.” Yev seethed and came over to the table bracing his arms on the chair. 

Mickey took a breath and sat back in his chair keeping his eyes on him. 

“No one calls me that.” Yev said as he lifted the chair and slammed it down into the floor. 

Mickey watched his eyes, the kid was fire and rage and pure self-destruction.

“Where are you living?” He asked quietly. 

Yev smiled bringing his hand up to his mouth, it was like looking in a fucking mirror. 

‘Jesus that’s freaky.’ He thought. 

“Again, why the fuck do you care?” Yev said.” Oh that’s right you don’t.” 

Yev’s face fell into a deadly stare and Mickey nodded. 

“OK that’s enough.” He said as he stood up. “I tried to talk to you but you and I have a fucking problem.”

Yev turned and stood his ground as he walked around the table. 

“See, you…” He said pointing at him. “..found Luke.” He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip. Yev’s eyes narrowed but he looked deeper and saw a flash of something he recognized. 

“You didn’t give him a call and say hey bro wanna hang out, get a beer go to the fucking movies. NO.” He said.

Yev lifted his chin and kept his eyes on his. 

“You rounded up your little friends and jumped his ass.” He said stepping up to him. 

Mickey was right in his face, they were eye to eye.

“Why?” He shot out watching his eyes, they flashed with emotion and Mickey let out a long breath. 

“Why the fuck not?” Yev hissed and put his hands up. Mickey whipped his hands out and caught his arms as they shoved at him. 

Mickey held his arms and lifted his eyebrows. Yev shoved his body weight forward and he didn’t move. 

“Ya OK.” He said and let his arms go. Yev pulled his arms back and scowled at him. 

‘Hmph.” Mickey murmured with a twist of his head. 

“Fuckin’ faggot.” Yev said. 

Mickey's eyes narrowed. 

“You get one.” He said. “One time.”

Yev crossed his arms. 

“You ever say that again in front of me or Luke again I will beat you bloody.” He said stepping forward. “And I don’t need a knife.” 

Yev’s eyes shifted a fraction. 

“Just leave.” Yev said. 

“I’m going’ He said.

Mickey walked to the door with his eyes on him. Yev turned and watched him, Mickey faced him and walked backwards out the door, he closed the door and took a long breath pushing a hand over his face. 

“Fuck.” He whispered and shook his head. 

Mickey stepped back and looked down the hall, the cop saw him and started walking toward him. Mickey walked the other way, away from him and the room and away from the kid he had never wanted but had stared back at him with hate and hurt in his eyes. Mickey saw the hate and he knew Yev didn’t hate him, he hated himself. He saw the hurt and knew that was because of him, it tore into him and he knew he had fucked up. 

Blindly raging he stormed down the hall and found an exit into the cold New York air and breathed in a long deep breath. There was one thing he knew for sure, he was gonna find his whore of an ex-wife and there was going to be a fucking reckoning. 

 

Luke heard a new voice and opened his eyes, he saw Lou’s blur and smiled. 

“Hi there sleepy.” Lou said. 

“Hi.” He said smiling. 

“Drugs. Lou said. 

Luke heard a shifting of feet and turned his head, he saw a white blur with a white top standing over him. 

“Luke, I’m Dr. Ambrose.” His voice was kind and gentle and sounded like the wind moving through the trees. 

“Hello.” He said smiling. “You sound like trees.”

“I do?” He said. 

“That’s not the drugs.” Lou said.

“Really.” Dr. Ambrose said as he pulled a chair over to his bedside. “Do you hear trees often?”

“Yes.” Luke said. “Well yes and no, I hear tones and you sound like the wind in the trees.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Dr. Ambrose said. 

“Aw come on.” Luke said. 

Dr. Ambrose laughed low in his throat and Lou giggled. Luke rolled his eyes blushing.

“Luke, I’d like to take a look at your hand.” Dr. Ambrose said. 

Luke took a breath and brought it out to the side of the bed. 

“Let’s take a look.” Dr. Ambrose said. Luke felt Lou’s hand slid into his. Dr. Ambrose was so gentle he barely felt him remove the thick bandage. 

Luke felt the tears sting his eyes and blinked them away. Lou lifted her hand and stroked her thumb over his cheek. 

“Am I hurting you?” Dr. Ambrose said. 

“No.” Luke said around the lump in his throat. 

“He plays the violin.” Lou said quietly. 

“I see.” Dr. Ambrose said. Luke heard the soft whisper of the wind through the wind chimes. 

“Alright then.” Dr. Ambrose said. “At first glance it looks like a clean cut. It crosses your palm. The doctors did a nice job stitching it up.” Luke listened to his soothing voice and felt Lou’s hand on his face. 

“When I touch a finger I want you to move it but only a little bit.” Dr. Ambrose said. 

“OK.” He said. He focused his hearing and waited, he felt a point on his finger and moved it. 

“Good.” He said. Luke felt him move over his fingers and moved them. 

He felt a slight brush over his fingertip and moved it. He waited and felt nothing, he heard Lou take in a sharp breath. 

“What?” He shot out. 

“Shit.” Lou said.

“What?” He said and turned his head to Dr. Ambrose. 

“They may be some swelling that’s blocking your nerves at the moment.” He said. 

“Or?” he said. 

“Luke.” Dr. Ambrose said. “You will not think about that. Your hand has been cut yes but we need to let the swelling go down before we can access the full extent of the damage. You can move all of your fingers and that is a very good start.” 

Luke nodded and felt Dr. Ambrose gently wrap his hand back up. 

“Where do you play?” Dr. Ambrose asked with a smile in his voice. 

“I don’t yet.” He said. “But I have an audition.”

“Hmm?” Dr. Ambrose murmured. “Where?”

“The New York Philharmonic.” Luke said. 

Dr. Ambrose hands stopped. 

“The Big Show.” He whispered. 

“I’m sorry.” Dr. Ambrose said. “When you said you played the violin, I had no idea.” 

“Violin is my life, music is my life, if I don’t have that…” Luke trailed off. 

“I see.” Dr. Ambrose said. “I didn’t understand but my diagnosis has not changed. I will do everything I can to make sure you can play just as well or better than you did before.” 

Luke nodded and pushed at his face with his good hand. 

“Tickets.” He said. “Any show you want, any time.” 

Lou laughed and he took a deep breath. 

“Well I may just take you up on that.” Dr. Ambrose said. Luke felt him secure a new bandage and bring it gently over his body. He felt something soft under between him and his hand. 

“There, a nice rest will do your hand some good.” Dr. Ambrose said. 

“It has its own pillow.” Lou said. 

“HA!” He said. 

Luke heard the door open and heard the footsteps. 

“Hey Mickey.” He said. 

“Hey.” Mickey said. “You the hand doctor?”

“Yes I am.” 

“How’s his hand?” Mickey asked. 

“There’s a little swelling and we have to wait a bit before we know for sure the extent of the damage but his tendons are intact.”

“Can he play?” Mickey said. 

“He will if I have anything to say about it and I do.” Luke heard the smile in his tone. 

“OK good.” Mickey said. Luke heard the relief in his voice. 

“Thanks.” Mickey said. 

Luke opened his eyes and tried to focus them on Dr. Ambrose, he was a blur of white and blue. 

“You’re welcome.” Dr. Ambrose said. “Luke I’d like to see you in two weeks and don’t put any pressure on that hand at all. “

“Right.” He said. “Got my pillow.”

“Yes and please if you have any questions or concerns call anytime.” 

“Thanks.” He said. 

“I’ll see you soon.” Dr. Ambrose said and walked out the open door. 

“Come on man let’s get the fuck outta here.” Mickey said. 

Luke laughed and nodded.

“Pack your shit and meet us at the airport.” Mickey said. 

“Yup.” Lou said. Lou leaned in and kissed his lips softly. 

“I’ll see you.” She said. 

“All these woes shall serve for sweet discourses in our time to come.” He said. 

“Enough with the fucking Shakespeare.” Mickey said. 

“How’d you know that was Shakespeare?” He asked with a bright smile.

He heard Mickey’s foot tapping on the floor.

“Uh huh.” He said. 

“Whatever.” Mickey said and Luke heard him stomp out of the room. 

 

Luke felt the truck turn and opened his eyes, he saw the blur of their street. 

“Finally.” He said. 

Mickey turned the wheel and pulled into the driveway. Luke opened the door and stepped down carefully. Lou came out behind him and pulled her bag with her, he felt her arm around his waist and dropped his good hand over her shoulder as they walked to the door. 

Mickey walked in front of them and opened the door. Luke walked through the door and felt all the weight of the past two days roll away. 

“I’d kill for a shower right now.” He said as he shuffled though the living room yawning. 

“Yeah me too.” Mickey said. “You go first then come out, we gotta talk man.”

“We do?” He said. 

“Ya it can wait though.” Mickey said. “Go shower before I shove your gimpy ass over and take the first one. “

“Like you could?!” He said yawning. 

“You might have lost some of the effect with the yawn.” Lou said. Luke nodded and felt her guide him through the house. 

 

Mickey pulled off his boots and rubbed his eyes hard. He hadn’t slept in two days, he had come face to face with his kid and had a knock down drag out fight with his bitch of an ex-wife. 

‘Not the best time I’ve ever had.” He thought. ‘I did get asked out though.’ 

Mickey laughed quietly to himself and pushed his hand over his face as he sat back on the couch, he lifted his legs and crossed his arms over his chest. Luke was going to take forever in the shower might as well kick back for a minute. 

 

Luke walked into his room and immediately to his side table, he opened it and reached down, his fingers hit the glasses case, he pulled them out and flipped open the lock. He put the case down and pulled out his glasses flipping them open he slid them on. 

Everything was almost clear, he turned around and Lou was smiling at him with a bag on her shoulder. 

“You are the prettiest thing I have ever seen.” He said as he walked to her with his arms out. 

“Aw.” Lou said with a smile. “And you are the messiest thing I have ever seen.”

‘Ya.” He said nodding. 

Lou smiled and her eyes flashed with love. 

“Thank you.” He said.

“For what?” Lou said. 

“For being there.” He said. Lou eyes softened. 

“It’s my job.” She said with a quick smile. 

“Oh ya?” He said. “Well you’re very good at it.” 

“Speaking of that, we need to find something to wrap your hand up.” 

Luke lifted his hand and nodded. 

Lou dropped her bag to the floor and kicked it over to the wall. 

“I’ll go look.” She said. 

Luke smiled as she walked out the door. 

“She’s so sweet.” He said to himself. 

“Yes I am.” Lou said from the bathroom. 

Luke laughed and sat down on the edge of his bed. He felt the pull of sleep and lowered his aching body down to the bed.

‘Just for one minute.’ He thought. 

 

Lou walked through the hallway and saw Mickey on the couch, she tiptoed into the kitchen and opened the lower cabinet drawers. She looked in and saw nothing she could wrap Luke’s hand with, she saw a dark void that look like a hole and reached out for it. Her hand felt the grip of a gun and laughed quietly. 

‘He’s prepared.’ Lou thought and let go of the gun. She looked through the cleaning supplies and opened the last cabinet, there were a million plastic grocery bags. 

“Yes!” She said quietly and pulled out a few and held them as she closed the cabinet quietly. She walked on tiptoes quietly back through the hallway and down to Luke’s room. She turned into the room and closed the door behind her. 

“Whew.” She said. “I think Mick..” She trailed off as she turned around. Luke was out like a light, he was fully dressed and had one foot still on the floor. 

Lou smiled and shook her head, she had said he was her job and she had to be a woman of her word. Lou sighed and leaned over him and slid off his glasses, she folded them and put them down on the side table looking down at Luke’s feet, his shoes were still on. 

‘Gotta start somewhere.’ She thought and knelt on the floor and pulled Luke shoelace shaking her head. 

 

Mickey heard a loud knock and opened his eyes, he turned his head and lifted a hand to his face. It was dark in the living room, he rubbed at his eyes and the knock came again. 

He stood up and walked around the coffee table to the door, he flipped on the outside light and looked through the peep hole, his heart sank in his chest and his eyes widened. 

Mickey turned the locks quickly and opened the door, the cold air rushed in. 

They stared at each other. 

“Hey.” He said. 

“Hey.” Yev said. He had a backpack on one arm and his face and hands were red with cold. 

“Come on.” He said stepping back against the door. 

Yev let out a breath and stepped through the door. Mickey looked over his red face as he started to walk past him. Yev’s eyes narrowed and Mickey looked into the house, Luke was walking into the living room. 

‘Fuck.’ Mickey thought. 

Yev stopped.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey.” Luke said in a low voice. 

“Uhm this is… Yevgeny.” Mickey said.

Yev’s head whipped around to look at him, Yev’s lips went back and his eyes hardened. 

“Don’t call me that.” Yev said. 

Mickey hissed as soon as Yev spoke, he knew Luke would recognize his voice. 

“Why are you here?” Luke shot out.

“Alright come on man.” Mickey said lifting a hand. 

Yev backed out the door and shifted his eyes back to Luke. 

“I’m not.” Yev said and turned around walking down the walkway fast. 

“Wait.” He said to Yev as he walked away. 

“Fuck.” He said. 

Luke glared at him with hard eyes. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Luke said. 

“He’s my son.” He said. 

Luke’s eyes widened and he turned his head and Mickey saw the hurt in his eyes. 

“HE’S your son.” Luke said. 

“No.” He said and hissed. “Yes, you are too.” 

“I see.” Luke said. 

Mickey put his hands up and stepped back. 

“You don’t man, listen..” He huffed out and reached to his peg behind Luke for his coat. 

“I don’t huh?” Luke said. “OK.”

“Can you not do that right now?!” He shot out like bullets. 

Luke shrugged and Mickey glared at him.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He snapped out as he walked out the door. 

 

Luke stood in the doorway and saw Mickey walking fast down the dark street toward the boy who had attacked him, beat him up and cut his hand making his future playing the violin in jeopardy. 

‘He’s my son.’ Mickey voice came back to him, there was a hurt and a edge of desperation in his voice. 

Luke stepped back into the warm house with his hand on the door, he pushed at it baring his teeth and slammed the door. 

 

He was walking fast and taking every single minute of the past day out of his head one by one, they flew away in the breeze and lightened the ache in his heart. 

“Hey.” He heard. 

“Fuck off.” He called out. 

He heard fast feet and grumbling, he scowled and turned around. Mickey saw him turn around and slowed his pace. 

Mickey panted and twisted his head around, he watched him walk up panting. 

“You can’t run.” He said with a smirk. 

“Ya.” Mickey said panting. “Fuck you.” Mickey panted out. 

He smiled and Mickey’s eyes rolled. 

“Make me run after your fucking ass.” Mickey grumbled. 

“I didn’t make you do shit. “ He said. 

“Oh ya.” Mickey smirked. “I’m just supposed to let you walk down the street in at whatever the fuck time it is.” Mickey sucked in air.

“I’m fine.” He said. 

“Ya, I know.” Mickey said and he crossed his arms over his chest and caught his breath. 

“No you don’t.” He said and turned around.

“I talked to you mother.” Mickey said. He felt a slice of shame go through him. 

“So?” He said and waved a hand up as he started walking. 

“You came here.” Mickey said. 

“And that was a big mistake.” He said. 

“I didn’t tell Luke about you” Mickey said. “I will and he’ll be fine.”

He stopped and turned around.

“Uh huh.” He said with a smirk. 

Mickey smiled and shook his head. “It’s like a fucking mirror.” Mickey said.

“Huh?” He said. 

“Nuthin.” Mickey said. “Come back, I’ll talk to Luke and if you don’t want to stay fine, you can go but it’s pretty fucking cold out here man.”

He scoffed and turned around, he pulled his bag up tighter and shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked away

He didn’t hear Mickey’s footsteps.

‘Good.’ He thought and ignored the pinch of pain. 

“Alright, later..” 

He waved a hand up. 

“Mick.” He heard Mickey say. 

He stopped and let out a long breath.


	5. Chapter 5

Luke heard the door open and shot off of the bed, Lou grumbled in her sleep and he walked down the hall quickly. 

Mickey saw him coming and scowled. 

“Sit the fuck down.” Mickey said pointing to the table and waved a hand at the teenager that came in behind him. 

“You too, sit.” Mickey said. 

The kid crossed his arms. 

“OK let’s sit.” Luke said and walked over to the cabinet next to the sink, he reached in and pulled out the gun. 

“Oh what the fuck?!” The kid said waving a hand up. 

“He won’t shoot you.” Mickey said. 

“I won’t?” Luke said and unloaded the clip and slammed it back up with the heel of his bandaged hand. 

“Do I get a gun?” The kid said. 

“No.” Mickey said and rolled his eyes. “Just….fucking sit…”

Mickey whipped off his coat grumbling, Luke raised an eyebrow at the kid and sat down in Ian’s seat to keep an eye on him. 

The kid tilted his head and smirked. “Whatcha gonna do?” He said. 

“Jesus.” Mickey shot out. “Shut up.” 

Luke smiled and crossed his arms carefully, holding the gun in his good hand. 

“You.” Mickey said. “There.” Mickey pointed at the chair at the far end of the table. 

The kid went toward Mickey’s chair never taking his eyes off of Luke. 

“Take off your coat.” Mickey said as he turned his chair around and straddled it.

The kid unzipped his coat and slid his arms out with his eyes on Luke. 

“Alright Dirty Harry put the fucking gun down.” Mickey said. 

“No.” He said. 

“Then I should get a gun.” The kid said. 

“You’re not getting a gun.” Mickey said crossing his hand through the air. 

“Who’s not getting a gun?” Lou said as she came around the corner. She smiled and looked between them, her eyes stopped on the kid and she did a double take, Luke saw him glance over and smile at Lou. 

He pulled back the trigger of the gun. “Don’t you smile at her.” He said.

“Luke!” Lou shot out. 

“Fine you can have a fucking gun.” Mickey said and stood up. 

“Mickey!” Lou said holding her arms out. 

“Yeah?” The kid said and slanted his eyes over Lou. 

“Ahhh Mickey?” Lou asked.

“Mick.” The kid said. Luke watched his eyes go up and down Lou. 

“That’s it, I’m shooting him.” Luke said. 

“No you’re not.” Mickey said as he straddled the chair and slid a gun over to the kid and Luke saw Mickey had the biggest gun in the house in his hand.

“Now we all have guns.” Mickey said. “K? Happy?” 

The kid smiled at Lou with sparkly blue eyes. 

“Keep your eyes off my girl.” He said as he slid the gun over the table toward him. 

“Jesus.” Lou said and walked down the hallway. 

The kid pulled back the trigger of his gun with a smile. 

“OK.” Mickey said. “Let’s think about this, you shoot him, he shoots you and what do we get huh? You’re just a bloody mess on the floor. “Mickey shrugged. 

“Ya but I’ll wipe that smirk off his smarmy face.” He said. 

“Huh.” The kid said and waved a hand at Mickey. “It’s his face you moron.”

“Excuse me?!?!” He said with a turn of his head. 

“Alright, alight.” Mickey said waving his gun. “Guns might have been a bad idea.”

Lou walked out into the kitchen and took the chair at the end of the table with her gun in front of her. 

“Can anybody play?” Lou said as she lifted her gun. 

“Ohhh backup.” He said with a smile. 

The kid smirked at him. 

“So we have some problems.” Mickey said and waved his fingers up.

“Ya.” He said. “He tried to kill me.”

“What?” Lou said. 

“Oh ya.” He said. “You didn’t know? Ya, he’s the kid who did this.” He held up his hand and Lou turned her stunned eyes away and they landed on the kid. 

“Gun’s… bad idea.” Mickey said.

Mickey reached out over the table for Lou’s gun and laid his hand on it. Lou dropped her hand over Mickey’s with her eyes on the kid. 

“How old are you?” Lou asked. 

The kid shrugged.

“16.” Mickey said with a sweet smile. 

Lou let out a long breath and lifted her hand. Mickey pulled her gun away and she folded her arms over her chest. 

“Thank you.” Mickey said lightly as he pulled the gun in front of him. 

Mickey held out his hands and Luke shook his head. The kid smiled and kept his gun up.

“Ian would be fucking done by now and we’d be eating like…something good and all happy and shit.” Mickey said and pushed his hand over his head. 

“Ian?” The kid said. 

Luke sat back and shook his head, he lowered the gun to the table and scoffed. 

“Fucking relax.” Mickey said to him. “Orange Boy.” Mickey said to the kid. 

“Oh.” The kid said, Luke saw his eyes sparkle just like Mickey’s

“He was too young to remember him.” Mickey said. 

“I was around?” The kid said with wide eyes. 

“Ya.” Mickey said with a grimace and shrugged. “For like a year. What the fuck did your mother tell you?” 

“Not that.” The kid said. 

“Wait.” Lou said. “You were with Ian when he was born?” 

‘Ya.” Mickey said with a shrug. “We all lived together.” 

“Huh.” Lou said “What the fuck?” The kid said. “Ew. “ He said. 

“Nah, nah nah.” Mickey said waving his hand. 

“I was with Ian and nothing was going to change that but you were like this big. “ Mickey said and held his hands out a foot apart. 

“And you and your mother lived with us.” Mickey said. “We worked and Ian took care of you most of the time. “ 

“He did?” The kid said. 

“Ya.” Mickey smiled and held out his hands. “It was fucking weird but it worked out for a while.”

“What happened?” The kid said. Luke heard his sad question and saw his eyes change. 

“Ian got sick.” Mickey said. “But man he loved you.” 

Luke saw the kid shift his eyes away. Luke felt his heart drop, the kid was not used to hearing that word. 

“Where’s your mother now?” He asked and his eyes came up, Luke saw the hate and pure anger in his eyes. 

“New York.” Mickey said. 

“Oh.” He said. 

“Sometimes.” The kid said. “Sometimes no.” He smirked and shook his head. 

“Hey.” Mickey said. 

“What? Is it too fucking dirty for him to hear?” The kid shot out nodding to Mickey. 

Mickey stopped and took in a deep breath.

“She’s a whore.” The kid said with a sneer. “And not just any whore, she runs a whole trafficking ring and when she’s not doing that she’s chasing pussy around.” 

“Mick.” Mickey said. 

“You’re really going to call him that?” He barked out. 

Mickey shot him a warning look. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t born into your perfect little fucking world, my mother’s a whore and my father’s a …” Luke came out of his chair and tackled him, they went over in a pile and the char went flying back. 

“Get off me.” He growled out from under him. Luke felt Mickey pull him up and he pulled his arm away as he stumbled to his feet. 

“Seriously.” He shot out. “You pull me off of HIM?” 

“No.. Luke wait.” Mickey said holding a hand up. He stalked down the hallway and into his room, he pushed at the door and Mickey caught it before it slammed. 

“You need to stop.” Mickey said pointing a finger at him. 

“I need to stop?” He said. 

Mickey closed the door behind him and crossed his arms. 

“I pulled you off because of your hand.” Mickey said. 

Luke pulled his hand up and saw blood on the bandage. 

“You OK?” Mickey asked. 

“Ya.” He said and curled his hand in. 

“Alright.” Mickey said. “So we gotta talk.”

“Ya we do.” He said. 

“I asked him to come.” Mickey said. 

“You did what?” He heard himself say. 

Mickey took a deep breath and crossed his arms. 

“This is what I wanted to talk to you about.” Mickey said quietly.

Luke felt his heart drop. 

“You want him to stay.” He said. 

Mickey nodded and shifted his weight. 

Luke shook his head. “You can’t be serious.” He said. 

“Ya.” Mickey said. 

Luke glared at him. Mickey raised his eyebrows and gave him a long hard look. 

“You know what? I thought you’d be the first one to help this kid.” Mickey shook his head and held his arms out. 

Luke was stunned silent. 

“He’s a kid.” Mickey said and let his arms fall. 

“I know.” He said.

“No.” Mickey said. “You don’t know.” Luke heard a very dark tone in his voice and he had heard it once before. 

“I could never make up to him what I did.” Mickey said and pointed at his own chest. “He 16 fucking years old and living on the street most of the time and he has no one but a bat shit crazy mother who cares more about her fucking money than she does about him and you know why? “

Mickey took in a deep breath. 

“Because he’s mine.” Mickey growled out.

Luke clenched his teeth and held his hand to his chest. 

“I know I fucked this up and that’s another thing on me.” Mickey said. 

Luke felt his eyes burn and shook his head. 

“Ya it is.” Mickey said. “And that’s OK because you’re here and safe and he’s here and safe and that’s all I fucking care about right now.” Luke heard Mickey voice hitch and he felt a lump in his throat. 

“He’s family.” Mickey said and pushed himself off the door and pulled it open. 

Luke watched him turn and walk out of the room. 

Luke felt the pain flow through him, his heart ached and his head pounded. 

Lou came into the room and closed the door behind her, she lifted his bad hand and sat across his lap, Luke wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. 

 

Mickey walked into their bedroom and sat down hard on the bed holding a hand over his eyes and set his teeth. He took in long breathes and remembered Ian and Yev sitting on the couch, Ian was lifting Yev’s feet to the song on the TV and Yev was giggling his baby giggle. 

He opened his eyes and looked at Ian’s picture on the nightstand. He had made a choice a long time ago but then he knew Svetlana would take care of Yev, she barely wanted him around other than to support them and now he seeing the price of the choice he had made. 

Mickey had seen Svetlana for the first time in years, he knew exactly where she was and what she was doing but what he didn’t know was while they were living in a huge house and she had three cars Yev would take off for weeks at a time and she wouldn’t even try to find him. 

‘He’s bad seed from bad apple.’ She had said. He had never hit a woman but his vision had gone red and his fists clenched at his sides, it had taken all of his strength to turn around and walk out the door. 

Mickey had gone to the jail and waited in the lobby until he saw Yev walk out the side door and to the window. He stayed in the seat while he signed out, Yev picked up his coat and shoved his wallet into his back pocket, Mickey stood up and watched him turn around swinging his coat behind him and pulling it on. 

Mickey followed him through the glass doors. 

“Hey.” He said. 

Mickey watched his eyes widened as he glanced over his shoulder. 

“What do you want?” Yev said and started down the steps. 

“I wanna talk to you.” He said. 

Yev kept walking and Mickey followed him, Yev got the bottom step and shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked down the sidewalk. 

“You don’t want to talk to me fine.” He said. 

Yev kept walking. Mickey walked up next to him and Yev shot him a hard glare. 

“I’m ahh going home today.” He said. 

Yev smirked. 

“Ya well it’s better than this fucking place, foods fucking better.” He said and sniffed in the cold. 

“I don’t know where you’re stayin’ here but I can find out.” He said. 

Yev shot him a dirty look. 

“Oh yes I can.” He said with a smile. 

Yev stopped and turned to him. 

“What do you want?” Yev said pushing on his pockets. 

“Nuthin.” He said with a shrug. 

“You bailed me out?” Yev asked. 

“Ya.” He said. 

Mickey pulled a hand out of his pocket. Yev stepped back and eyed him warily. 

“This is my address in Chicago and a plane ticket.” He said and held it out to him. 

Yev looked down at his hand and up at him. 

“Just fucking take it.” He said. 

Yev narrowed his eyes. 

“Jesus.” He said and shoved the envelope into Yev’s pocket. 

“The tickets open so you can come whenever, there’s some cash in there.” He said. 

Yev pulled out the ticket and envelope from his pocket. 

“Toss it, spend it, do what you want.” He said. 

Yev looked at him with doubt and suspicion. 

Mickey looked down the street, there were too many things to say and he knew the kid didn’t want to hear them. 

“Everything was pretty fucked up when you were born.” He said. 

“It took a long time but I got my shit straight.” He said. He looked back at Yev and his eyes stared back at him

He let out a long breath, he didn’t have the right words, he worked his jaw out and flicked his eyes away and back to Yev, he didn’t see the hard stare, he saw through it to the smiling happy baby he once was. 

“I know I wasn’t there.” He said quietly. “And maybe I can’t be your father now but if you ever need anything or just want to…I don’t know hang out or whatever.” 

Yev’s eyes shifted away.

“Just keep it OK.” He said. “If you need place to go…just..”

Mickey paused and took in a sharp breath. 

“Come home.” He said. 

Yev’s eyes went to down the ground between them. 

Mickey stepped back and looked over his son’s face, he didn’t know if he’d ever see him again after today, he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned back to the police station bracing against the cold, he walked to the steps and looked back, Yev was still standing in the same spot watching him. Mickey watched him turn away and shove the envelope back into his pocket. 

Mickey looked at Luke’s picture on his side table, Luke was bullshit and he had every right to be. He was pretty bullshit but he had seen Yevs eyes in the police station, he saw his eyes flash with fear when he had stepped up to him, he saw his eyes flash with pain and regret when he had asked him why had jumped Luke. Mickey remembered that kind of pain, the emptiness was so deep you had to fill it with something, booze, drugs, sex, violence. You’d do anything to forget, you’d do anything to fill the void even for a minute. 

Mickey couldn’t forget what he did to Luke but he couldn’t forget the emptiness in Yev’s eyes. 

‘I can’t and I won’t choose.’ He thought. ‘They’re both mine and they’re both staying, even if they tear the fucking house apart and burn it to the ground.’ 

 

Yev sat at the table and twisted his head back, it got really quiet back there he thought as he drummed his fingers and looked around. The house was small but nice, not like the big house his mother had found and fallen in love with. He leaned back the chair looking down the hallway and didn’t see anyone coming, he lowered the chair and looked across the living room, there were pictures scattered around the living room and he stood up and walked to the front of the couch. A small kid with glasses waved to the camera, pictures of Mickey and a guy with red hair. 

‘Oh orange boy” He thought ‘Ian.’ He remembered and looked closer, he tried to remember him but he didn’t, he looked over the couch and saw more pictures on the side table. 

He saw Ian and Mickey in front of a tree and Mickey was holding a baby in his lap. 

“Baby?” He thought. “That’s me.” He realized. He reached down and picked it up, Mickey was holding him smiling. 

“Ian liked that one.” He heard and whipped his head around. 

“There’s more, over here.” Mickey said pointing to the wall beside him, he turned around and saw Ian’s smiling face holding a baby. 

“My mother said he was crazy and he kidnapped me.” He said looking away from the picture and back at Mickey. 

Mickey sputtered. “She’s fucking nuts.” 

Yev nodded and rolled his eyes, he felt one corner of his mouth turn up into a smile. 

Mickey turned and waved his arm out. 

“I think there’s some food in here.” Mickey said as he walked through the kitchen to the refrigerator. 

Yev put the picture back exactly as he had found it and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Mickey pulled open the refrigerator and pulled out a beer, he twisted off the cap and turned his hands out. 

“OK maybe not.” Mickey said. He took a drink from the beer and turned his head. 

“Hm.” Mickey murmured. “You like pepperoni?” 

“Who doesn’t?” He said. 

Mickey smiled and walked to the counter, he picked up his phone and dialed. 

 

Lou carefully wrapped his hand with the plastic bag and secured it with duct tape. 

“That’s not moving.” She said. She kissed his cheek and he pulled his shirt up over his head with his good hand, he let it drop to the floor as he walked toward the door. He had been listening to the conversation coming from Mickey and the kid.

“Hey.” Mickey called out. “I got pizza.” 

Luke ignored him and turned into the bathroom. 

“Hey.” He heard and saw Mickey standing in the hallway. “Did you hear me?” 

“Ya.” He said. 

He walked through the bathroom door and started to close it behind him. 

“I’m not hungry.” He said. 

Luke closed the door quietly, he didn’t turn on the bathroom light. He felt the darkness and quiet of the bathroom and undressed leaving the light off. 

 

Mickey finished his third piece pizza and watched Yev, he was quiet and wary. 

‘But he’s here.’ He thought. 

Mickey wiped his mouth with a napkin and balled it up in his hands. 

“Good huh?” He said with a smile. 

Yev shrugged and dropped his piece of pizza on his plate. 

“It’s alright.” Yev said wiping his mouth, Mickey saw him hide his smile behind his napkin. 

“Hm.” He murmured sitting back. Mickey lifted his beer and took a long drink. Luke hadn’t come into the kitchen after he had taken his shower, he had gone straight back into his room. He needed time to cool off, he’d be OK. 

“That’s his girlfriend?” Yev said. 

“Ya she is.” He said.

Yev sputtered. “How’d he get her?” 

Mickey smirked. 

“And he’s not a..?” Yev said and stopped. 

Yev’s eyes shifted away. 

“No.” He said. “He’s not gay.” 

Yev shrugged a shoulder and took a big bite of pizza. 

“How bout you?” Mickey asked. “You have a girl?” 

Yev shook his head and picked up a napkin. 

“A guy?” Mickey said with a quick smile. 

Yev’s eyes snapped to his. Mickey held his gaze and saw the emotion ripple over Yev face as he turned his head. 

“Just askin’” He said carefully. 

Yev turned his eyes away and he stared down at the table. Yev shook his head once. 

“Alright.” He said with a shrug. “Either way dosent fuckin’ matter.”

Yev glared at him and picked up his beer. 

“Not to you maybe.” Yev said. 

“Nah.” He said quickly. “But you might want to think about saying shit about Lou in front of Luke.” 

Yev sputtered out a laugh around the pizza in his mouth. 

“Oh ya.” Mickey said in a dry tone. “See how that goes?! You’ll be picking your teeth off the fucking floor.” 

“Hmph.” Yev said. 

Mickey shook his head and pounded down the last of his beer as he stood up, he walked to the refrigerator and threw the empty into the trash. He pulled open the refrigerator door and took out two beers watching Yev out of the corner of his eye. 

Yev would watch him when he wasn’t looking, he had been surprised to see him smiling down at the picture when he had walked into the living room. He looked younger when he smiled, he looked like a kid and not the pissed off asshole he had been otherwise. 

Mickey put one beer back and pulled out a can of soda, he kicked the door closed and glanced up at the clock, 10:40. The later it got the more likely it was Yev would stay the night. 

He walked to the table and put the soda down in front of Yev. Yev picked it up and glared at him. 

“One’s enough.” He said.

“Huh?” Yev said with a scowl. 

“You’re 16.” Mickey said firmly. 

“Yeah?! Yev said as he chewed. “So?” 

“Just fucking drink it.” Mickey said. Yev rolled his eyes and opened the soda. 

Mickey lifted his beer and smiled as he took a drink watching Yev scowl as he took a sip and lowered to the soda to the table. 

‘Fuck man, I wish you could see this.’ He thought. 

Ian would love Yev sitting at their table eating pizza and scowling. Mickey had always known where he was, Sutter would bring him pictures and reports up until three and a half years ago. Mickey pushed a hand over his mouth as his heart ached, everything had stopped that day. 

‘He was 12.’ He thought. 

The last report was Yev was in Russia with Svetlana, he was in a private school and he had seen his report card. Ian had googled the translation of the report card and smiled up at him. 

‘What the fuck happened?’ He asked himself. He pulled his smokes over and pulled one out, he lit it and hissed out smoke hard. 

“Why’d you come back from Russia?” He asked. 

Yev’s eyes widened. “How’d you know I was in Russia.” Yev asked. 

“I know where you’ve been.” He said. 

“Hm.” Yev said. 

Mickey waited and watched him sit back and pick up his soda. 

“Things got hot for the wench.” Yev said. 

“Don’t call her that.” He said and took a quick drag of his smoke.

“Why not?” Yev said with hard eyes. 

Mickey blew the smoke out watching his eyes. 

“She’s your mother.” He said.

Yev sputtered. 

“Hey.” He shot out leaning over and pointing a finger at Yev. “She’s your mother.” He said. 

Yev looked down at his soda.

Mickey bit over his bottom lip and sat back. He agreed with him, she was a wench but Mickey remembered when Yev was little, Svetlana had adored him. She took care of him like a little prince, nothing was too good for Yev and he didn’t know what fucking happened but she had taken care of him like a mother should. 

“Last I knew you were getting driven around Moscow in a limo.” He said. 

Yev nodded and picked up his pizza. 

Mickey took a drag of his cigarette and watched Yev through the smoke, his eyes were hooded and he looked down at the plate as he ate his pizza. 

Mickey felt his heart twist, he lifted his beer and held it to his lips. Yev’s eyes shifted to his and he saw a tiny flash of light in his eyes before he looked away. Mickey’s throat closed and he lowered the beer, he let out a long breath. Mickey saw the smiling happy baby in that second, for that one second he saw his son. 

 

Yev watched Mickey pick up his empty plate, he walked over to the sink and put the plates down on the counter. 

“It’s late man.” Mickey said looking up at the clock. 

“There’s the couch or the futon, your choice.” Mickey said walking back to the table. 

“What’s a futon?” He asked. 

Mickey smiled. “It’s like a couch that folds out into a bed…kinda.” 

“Like a trundle bed?” He asked. 

“What’s that?” Mickey said. 

Yev smiled and pulled at the tab of his soda. 

“It’s like a bed under a bed.” He said. 

“Huh.” Mickey said and crossed his arms. “There’s nothing under it except maybe dust bunnies.” 

Yev felt the smile on his face. “Dust bunnies?” He asked. 

Mickey laughed. “They don’t have those in Russia?” Mickey said. 

“How are bunnies dusty?” He asked. 

Mickey laughed again and Yev felt another smile on his face. 

“I don’t know man, it’s like dust balls.” Mickey said with a wave of his hand. 

He saw Mickey smiling down at him and he forced his mouth closed. He couldn’t stop the smile though and shook his head. 

“Come on man.” Mickey said. 

Mickey walked around him, he watched him walk away and he pulled at the soda tab. It was late and he had come all this way and he just wanted to rest for a little while. He looked down at the soda and took a drink, he put it down slowly and turned in the chair picking up his bag. 

Yev stood up and walked through the living room slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Mickey walked through the door, Yev walked up to the door and Mickey shoved a hand in his back pocket and waved a hand out. 

“That’s a futon.” Mickey said.

Yev heard him but didn’t look over, the wall behind Mickey was covered with pictures, there were hundreds of them and they were all of Ian, Mickey and Luke. 

“It’s that or the couch.” Mickey said. 

Yev focused on Mickey. 

“Ya.” He said. “Whatever.” 

Yev stepped into the room and looked back at the pictures, the wall felt like a magnet, he walked forward and past Mickey, his eyes fell on a picture of Mickey and Ian smiling, he felt a pain shoot though his chest. 

“He’d really like you being here.” Mickey said quietly. 

Yev felt the pressure rise up in his chest and he let out a short breath, he turned around and looked down at the black couch against the wall. 

“Here’s fine.” He said. He dropped his bag to the floor and sat down on the edge of the futon. 

“I’ll get you some stuff.” Mickey said and walked out of the room. Yev looked back to the wall bracing his elbows on his knees. 

Mickey looked so happy in all of the pictures. Yev rubbed his hands together and looked away from the wall. 

‘What am I doing here?’ He thought. He sat back and rubbed a hand over his eyes, he felt the pain of his sore eye shoot behind his eyes and hissed. 

‘Got your ass kicked and then come to the house of the guy who kicked your ass.’ He thought. 

“Real smart Mick.’ He said to himself and let out a long breath. Mickey walked into the room carrying a pillow in one hand and blankets in the other. 

“I’m real smart?” Mickey said smiling at him as he threw the pillow at the other end of the futon. 

“No.” He said. 

Mickey turned his head and smiled wider. 

Yev felt the smile tug at his lips. “I meant me.” He said rolling his eyes. 

“That’s gonna get confusing.” Mickey said as he held one side of a sheet and let it fall open. 

“You’re not calling me by the other one.” He said with a glare. 

“Alright.” Mickey said casually. 

Mickey waved a hand at him and he looked around. 

“Stand up man.” Mickey said with a laugh. 

He pushed himself up and Mickey leaned over and pulled the couch out from the wall. 

“Why’d you use it?” Mickey asked.

Yev crossed his arms again and glowered. 

Mickey shoved the top of the futon down until it laid flat like a bed, he flipped the sheet out and let it fall over the futon, he picked up a blanket and flipped it up like the sheet. 

“Instant fucking bed.” Mickey said and held his arms up. 

Yev shifted his weight and scratched at his neck looking away.

“Uh huh.” He grunted. 

Mickey stepped back looking down at the bed shoving his hands in his back pockets. 

“It’s not what you think.” He said. 

“Huh?” Mickey said and bit the inside of his mouth looking down at the futon. 

“The name, I use it to piss my mother off.” He said. 

Mickey’s face lit up into a bright smile. 

“Oh ya?” Mickey said and crossed his arms. “I get that.” 

Yev felt his heart shift and let himself smile a little. 

“Yev’s not so bad.” He said. “But I have to explain it and then they ask where did the name come from and then it’s this whole thing I just want to punch something.” Yev let out a long haggard breath. 

“Ya I get that too.” Mickey said nodding his head. 

Yev smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“I didn’t name you.” Mickey said. “That’s for fucking sure, I would have given you a cool name.” 

“Oh yeah?” He said. 

“Ya man.” Mickey said nodding. 

Yev waited for Mickey to go on, Mickey pulled out a hand and waved it down. 

“Anyway.” Mickey said. “Get some sleep huh.” 

“What cool name?” He said before he thought, he felt his neck and face get hot and he turned his face away. 

He shifted his eyes back, Mickey was smiling. 

“My grandfather’s.” Mickey said. 

Yev felt his heart shake and turned around, he sat down on the futon bringing his closed hands over his face bracing them on his knees. 

“My mother used to tell the coolest stories about him, he lived in the Ukraine and I never met him but my mother always said I was like him.” Mickey said and shrugged a shoulder. “He lived to like a hundred and ten or something.” 

“Oh yeah.” He said in a flat dry tone. 

“Ya.” Mickey said. 

“You’re not gonna have to call me anything, I’m going back tomorrow.” He said. 

Yev didn’t hear Mickey say anything and looked up at him through his hands. 

“If that’s what you want.” Mickey said quietly. 

Yev nodded. Mickey stared at him and he held his gaze. 

“You can stay.” Mickey said quietly. 

“Tonight.” He said. 

Mickey looked over at the pictures on the wall and twisted his mouth up. 

“Alright man.” Mickey said letting out a long breath. 

Yev watched him as he turned toward the door, Yev looked away when he looked back at him. 

“Night.” Mickey said. 

Mickey closed the door and he let out the breath he had been holding pushing his hand over his forehead and felt his heart pound. That was stupid, asking about a grandfather that had nothing to do with him but for a second he had liked the idea of having a cool name but he didn’t and that’s just the way it was, there were some things that didn’t change no matter how hard you tried. 

He had gone home after getting out of jail and his mother had laid into him as soon as she clapped eyes on him. 

“What did you do?” She screamed. 

“Nothing.” He had said. 

“Nothing.” She threw back at him. “Why was your piece of shit father here? Why did he come here if you did nothing?” 

“I don’t know.” He had said. 

“You don’t know.” She had said with scorn. “You just like him, stupid idiot.” She had shot out as she turned away crossing her arms. 

“At least I’m not like you.” He had said. 

She had whipped around and smacked him hard across the face, he had turned back to her smiling and pushed his tongue out to catch the blood at the corner of his mouth. 

Her eyes had been as hard as steel. 

“You go then. Go to your faggot father.” She had said with her eyes flashing. 

“See for yourself!” She had spat out. “He only cares about stupid boyfriend, he doesn’t give shit about you.”

After that was a blur of swirling anger, he had shoved his notebooks and some clothes in a bag and left without looking back, he didn’t know where he was going and had heard himself telling the cab driver to take him to the airport. All the way to the airport he had told himself he would not go to Chicago, he would trade the ticket in and go anywhere else but Mickey’s voice had kept coming to him. 

‘Come home.’ 

Yev shook his head. Stupid. What did he think would happen? Luke would be all good with him and he’d meet his father and what? The past three years would go away? 

Yev didn’t understand what his mother did when he was younger. She would bring him toys and gifts and games, she’d stay for a few days and then be gone again. She had come home without gifts for the first time when he was 12, he didn’t care about it because he was so happy she was home and then it had happened again. 

His mother had started looking at him differently and he didn’t understand why, she had started drinking more and more and when she drank she got mean and then he had understood, she had made sure he understood. He knew then that when she looked at him she saw his father. She would hiss and shake her head when he would say or do something that reminded her of Mickey so he had stopped talking when she was around but that wasn’t good enough, nothing was. Nothing he said or did made her love him and nothing ever would. 

Yev closed his eyes and stopped the memories. 

‘I should just go.’ He thought and sighed. 

Yev opened his eyes and lifted his hand to his mouth, he bit his nail and looked around the small room. The only other furniture in the room were two leather chairs and a laptop. His mind was dragging, he as so tired and his head hurt, he shifted over and carefully went back onto the blanket, his head hit the pillow and he let out a breath. 

It was cold in the room but he couldn’t lift the blanket over him, he bit his nail and looked over at the wall of pictures. 

‘Would you be happy I’m here?’ He thought. 

“Man he loved you.” Mickey had said, he didn’t believe it. His own mother couldn’t stand him and he was sure the man with the big smile and kind eyes hadn’t thought twice about him after he was gone and why should he?

Yev was the forgotten kid from the past, he was just a bad memory from before all of happy pictures on the wall. 

‘It’s OK orange boy, I’m not staying, you can forget about me.’ Ian’s face smiled at him from the wall. 

‘Again.’ He thought as he closed his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Mickey closed the bedroom door behind him and held his hand on the door, he had fucked up and he didn’t know how. Yev was smiling and they were talking and then he watched Yev completely shut down. 

“Fuck.” He whispered and shoved his hand over his face listening, he stood there and the minutes ticked by, he felt his heart slowly ease and his racing mind settle. 

Even with the nap on the couch he was beat, between the one beat up kid and the one who was pissed at him, although they were both beat up and both were pretty pissed, he was a fucking exhausted mess. He had set the house alarm before he had come into his bedroom and no one could sleep through that, if Yev tried leave he’d know about it. 

He walked to the bed pulling off his jeans, he let them fall and stepped out of them. He pulled the blankets back and let himself roll onto the bed lifting his hand over his face as his head hit the pillow pulling the blankets over him. 

The memory of Yev’s eyes flashing with something sweet and young came to him. Mickey had never been sweet or young, he had always been hard until Ian had softened the edges. Mickey smiled in the dark, he had been able to be a father because of Ian, he had been able to love Yev and Luke because Ian had shown him how to love. 

‘I can do this.’ He thought nodding his head. ‘I’ll just figure out a way to make him stay.’

Mickey closed his eyes and turned his head into the pillow, he thought of Yev’s eyes when he had said Ian would like him being here, Yev’s eyes had shifted away but not before he had seen them sparkle with a little happiness. 

“Did you see that?” He whispered. 

He saw Ian’s smile and felt his heart fill. 

Mickey closed his hand over his wedding ring and smiled in the dark. 

 

Luke was lying awake next to Lou, he had heard their conversations and his heart had torn at him hearing all the tones of Mickey’s heart in his voice. 

He heard Mickey go into his room and his eyes opened, he waited. 

There were no sounds coming from the rest of the house, he took a deep hard breath and sat up carefully picking up his glasses without a sound, he walked to his door and quietly pulled it open. Luke slipped through the door and down the hall, the red glow of the alarm glinted through the living room, he looked over at the couch and didn’t see the kid. Luke’s eyes fell on the door to Ian’s office, he walked silently over the hard wood to the door and listened for a few minutes. 

When he was sure he wasn’t moving he stepped forward and opened the door without a whisper. Luke saw him lying on the futon with his eyes closed, he was breathing steadily. Luke opened the door and walked up to the side of the futon. 

His eyes adjusted to the light and he only saw the outline of his face and his dark eyelashes. Luke kept his eyes on him as he leaned over and picked up his bag, he stepped backwards with his eyes on the futon. 

Luke stepped through the door and walked quickly through the house to the bathroom, he closed the door and flipped on the light as he threw the bag down on the counter, he unzipped it quickly and pulled it open, he pulled out his clothes and dropped them on the counter, he saw two notebooks and he pulled them out, the covers were tattered and covered with intricate designs. Luke flipped open the notebook and read the first two lines, he took a deep breath and closed the notebook, he put it on the counter and lifted out everything in the bag until he saw his crushed glasses at the bottom. He shook his head as he pulled them out, the glass was shattered and the frames were bent. They were his new ones and not the ones Ian had picked out for him, those were on his face. He looked into the mirror and saw his black eye and his split lip. 

Luke held the glasses in his hands and looked himself in the eye. 

He let out a breath and looked back down at the bag, he opened the front pockets and found the cash, he found the plane ticket receipt and he found the knife. Luke held the knife and hit the button, it opened with a click and he saw his blood still on it, he hit the button and it snapped back, he put the knife on the counter next to his glasses. He lowered the notebooks in exactly as they had been, he put the neatly folded jeans and shirts back on top of the notebooks and zipped the bag closed. 

He picked up the knife and glasses with his good hand and slipped it into his pocket, he flipped off the light and opened the door picking up the bag without a sound. 

 

Mickey woke up fast, he looked at the clock. 8am. 

“Shit.” He said. He pushed his fingers over his eyes and pulled the blankets off and stood up. 

‘What fucking day is it?’ He thought vaguely as he walked to the door blinking. He pulled open the door and hissed walking down the hall. 

“Jesus Christ.” He said and held a hand up to the glare of the sun hitting the snow. He squinted and walked through the blast of light, he blinked and saw the office door open and his heart dropped. He rushed over into the doorway and saw Yev over the covers asleep. Mickey saw he still had his clothes on and his heart kicked at him. 

‘I should have brought him sweatpants or something’” He thought. 

Mickey looked over Yev’s face, he looked about 12 when he was sleeping, Mickey smiled and crossed his arms, even with his eyes closed he could still see himself in Yev. 

‘Shit he looks like me.’ He thought. ‘Better lookin though.’ 

Laughing to himself he closed the door quietly and turned around to turn off the alarm, he saw the green light and froze. He was tired last night but he wasn’t that tired, he had turned on the alarm. 

‘What the fu…” He stopped mid thought. 

Luke

“No” He said to himself. “No he didn’t.” He said.

He worked his jaw out and tried to think of any explanation other than Luke turning off the alarm, he pushed his hand against his mouth and tried to stop the anger that reared up inside of him. 

Mickey hit the read out and saw the alarm had been turned off an hour after he had gone to bed. 

‘OK maybe Luke told Lou about the code.’ He thought. 

He unlocked the door and pulled it open, there were no footprints in the fresh snow on the ground and his truck was covered with snow, no one had left the house. Mickey closed the door. 

He stepped back taking a breath and walked through the house, he closed his eyes walking into the kitchen and slapped the button on the side of the window. The shade closed quietly and Mickey waited until the bright glare was gone before he opened his eyes, he pushed the on button to the coffee maker and braced his arms on the counter. 

Mickey pushed his jaw out and shook his head leaning over the counter and covered his mouth blowing out air. 

“Hey.” He heard. Luke came into the kitchen shuffling his feet. Mickey lifted himself back up on his arms and held the edge of the counter.

“Did it snow?” Luke asked. 

“Ya.” He said. 

“Huh.” Luke said opening the refrigerator. 

Mickey took a deep breath and turned around. Luke was lifting the orange juice and drinking it straight out of the jug. 

Mickey crossed his arms and leaned against the counter watching Luke. 

Luke’s eyes flickered over the front door and over the door of the office before he looked back in the refrigerator. 

“He’s still here.” He said.

“Hm.” Luke murmured. 

“I’m gonna run to the store.” Luke said. “Get some eggs.” 

Luke closed the refrigerator and didn’t look back as he walked into the hallway back to his room. 

Mickey set his teeth and tried to calm down, he shook his head and looked over at the office door. Yev didn’t leave but he fucking could have and he wouldn’t have known. 

Luke walked past the kitchen in jeans and sneakers, Mickey watched him and turned around as he walked through the living room, Luke pulled on his coat and didn’t bat an eyelash or look over when he saw the unlocked door, he pulled the door open and looked back at him. 

“You want anything?” Luke said. 

Mickey gave Luke a long look, Luke stared back at him with no expression on his face. 

Mickey shook his head slowly. Luke turned away and closed the door behind him.

Mickey kept his eyes on the door and stood there for a long minute trying to wrap his brain around what had just happened. 

“I’m not thinking about this right.’ He thought. 

He opened the cabinet and pulled out a mug, he slammed it down and poured coffee into it trying to clear his head. He shoved the coffeepot back in place and picked up the mug, he walked to the table and sat down in his seat hard taking a long drink of the blazing hot coffee, he picked up his smokes and stared at the wall as he put one in his mouth and lit it. 

He pulled on it and let the nicotine rush to his brain, he went over it again. He understood Luke was pissed, he understood Yev had cut his hand and Luke was freaked he wouldn’t play violin again, he understood Luke had been hurt and beaten up, all that he got. He got that it had been just the three of them and they were tight, then it had been just the two of them and they had held onto each other through the worst time and had come out closer. 

Mickey took a long drag of and let out the smoke. 

What he didn’t understand was how his son could want a 16 year old kid to walk out of a house in the middle of the night in the South Side of Chicago with nothing but a backpack and nowhere to go. 

Mickey picked up his mug and held it. 

‘There has to be something else.’ He thought. 

Mickey went over it in again. 

 

Yev woke up slowly, he opened his eyes into slits and saw the dark room, he slowly remembered where he was and closed his eyes. 

‘Must still be night, I don’t have to leave yet’ He thought pulling the blankets down and turned over, he brought them over his shoulder and lifted himself up enough to bring it over half of his body and turned his head into the pillow. He was drifting back to sleep when he heard the front door open and close, he heard low voices and turned his head up to listen closer. 

..explain this to me?” He heard Mickey say. 

“What?” Luke said. 

“I understand you’re fucking pissed.” 

Yev pushed himself up on his elbow. 

“Why should I be pissed?” He heard something slam down hard. . 

Yev’s feet hit the floor and he felt his heart pound as he shoved his feet into his boots. 

“He could have walked out of here.” Mickey said like a whip. 

“Ya?” Luke said. Yev felt his stomach roll, he stood up and pushed away the dizziness that washed over him.

Yev leaned over and picked up his bag, the dizziness rose and he braced his hand on the futon as he sat back down. 

He heard stomping feet and sat up straight and opened his eyes wide. The footsteps didn’t come close to the door and he closed his eyes, he was sweating in the chilly room and he pushed a hand over his face. 

“He’s my kid.” Mickey said. 

Yev heard a loud slam, he picked up his bag and fought the buzz in his head as he stood up and walked to the door. 

 

Mickey heard the click of locks and looked across the living room, Yev was pulling the locks and opening the door. 

Mickey rushed forward. “Fuck.” He shot out. 

“Wait.” He called out as Yev pulled the door open. 

“Let him go.” Luke said. 

Mickey stopped short and turned back to Luke. 

“What the fuck?” Mickey said.

Luke crossed his arms and glared back at him. 

Mickey turned away and shoved his feet into his boots, he tore his coat off the peg. 

“I don’t know what the fuck’s going on with you but you need to get your shit straight.” He barked out. 

Luke glared at him and Mickey turned away and slammed the door behind him, he tried to see through the blinding rage and saw Yev’s footsteps in the snow. He shoved himself into the truck and turned the key hissing, he flipped on the wipers to push the snow away and pulled the truck out of the driveway, he turned the wheel hard and saw Yev walking away fast, he was hunched over with his hands in his jeans pockets, he had run out without his coat. 

Mickey sped up and pulled the truck up next to him, Yev kept walking. Mickey took his foot off the gas and let the truck inch along next to him. Mickey steered with one hand and knocked on the window. 

“Hey.” He called out. 

He knocked on the window again. 

“Hello.” He said. 

He saw Yev glance over, he leaned forward and smiled at him, Yev shook his head. Mickey drove beside him and drummed his knuckles on the window. Yev stopped and turned to him, Mickey smiled brightly stepping on the brake.

“Where ya goin?” He asked casually. 

Yev rolled his eyes. 

“Oh ya.” Mickey said and waved a hand up rolling the down the window. 

“What’s up?” He said. 

Yev hunched his shoulders and sniffed. 

“Nothing.” Yev said. 

The wind whipped into the truck through the window. 

“You wanna get some breakfast?” He asked. Yev looked down the street and shrugged. 

”Let’s go.” He said and rolled up the window, Yev stood in the cold, Mickey turned up the heat and widened his eyes at Yev waving his hands out. Yev walked around the truck and pulled himself into the truck without looking over at him, Yev pulled his bag off his shoulder and let it drop to the floor of the truck. 

Mickey turned the wheel and punched the gas. He glanced over and saw Yev rub his hand together and wrap his arms around his body. 

“It’ll warm up in a minute.” He said. 

Yev looked out the window. 

“You must be used to the cold though.” He said. “Russia’s pretty fucking cold.”

Yev stared out the window.

“I hate the cold man.” He said braking for a red light. 

“Me too.” Yev said. 

“Ya?” He said.

“Yeah.” Yev said. 

“Hmph.” He grunted. “That’s weird cuz when you were a baby you’d take off all your clothes.”

“What?” Yev said turning to him with wide eyes. 

“Ya.” Mickey said. “Naked, all the time. We couldn’t keep anything on you, you thought it was hilarious.” 

Yev smiled and Mickey saw the flash he had seen last night. 

Mickey nodded with a bright smile. “We’d put your shoes on and then poof they’s be off..” He said blowing his hand out. 

“Drove me crazy, shoes everywhere.” He said. 

Yev looked away but Mickey saw a half smile on his face. 

Mickey looked back at the road and hung his hand from the bottom of the steering wheel as the cars started moving. 

Mickey smiled and glanced over at Yev. 

“One time Ian was trying to find shoes that matched.” He said. “He was holding you and saying ‘Where are all your shoes man?” Mickey smiled remembering watching Ian talking to him, Yev had smiled at up at Ian like he was the best thing in the world. 

“Ian said ‘fuck it.’” Mickey laughed and looked over at Yev. “And you said ‘fuck’ with a big smile, I nearly busted a gut.” 

Yev laughed. Mickey’s heart warmed, he had a great laugh. 

“Ian totally freaked which was almost funnier.” He said. 

“What the fuck Mickey, shut up.” Ian had said. “Svet is gonna kill me.” Ian had pulled his hands down his face while he had laughed his ass off. 

“Fuck.” Yev had said with a happy smile. 

“Ohhmyygawd.” Ian had said and smacked his hands on his face. 

“Ian taught you how to swear.” He said smiling. 

Yev smiled back at him and Mickey watched his eyes light up. 

Mickey pulled into a spot and pushed the truck in park, he twisted the key and pulled it out of the ignition. He sat back and looked down at his keys. 

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with Luke.” He said. 

“I do.” Yev said. “It’s not that hard to figure out.” 

“Nah man.” He said. “I know you don’t know him but he’s a good kid.” 

“I’d hate me too.” Yev said. Mickey narrowed his eyes and focused on Yev and he turned his eyes away from his and out the window. 

“He doesn’t hate you.” He said. 

Yev shrugged. 

“Hey.” He said and lifted his hand, he stopped his hand before it reached Yev’s arm. 

Yev turned back to him and Mickey could see he had shut down again. Yev shoved open the door and dropped out of the truck, the truck rocked with the force of him slamming the door. 

Mickey let out a long breath and watched Yev walk across the street, he pulled open the door and dropped out of the truck. Yev was waiting for him by the door and he walked across the street and stepped up on the curb, Yev turned and opened the door. Mickey smirked and followed him. Mickey looked around and smiled when he saw the dark haired woman sitting at the counter, he shoved his keys in his pocket and waited. 

“Hey Mick.” He heard. Mickey saw Yev turn his head at the name out of the corner of his eye, the waitress was holding a pot of coffee and came around the counter smiling at them, he saw the dark haired woman turn her head and he saw Fiona’s face light up when she saw him. They had become pretty close over the past year. After Luke had gone back to school he would come here more and more to eat or just not be at home. Fiona had been a fucking mess for a while, losing Ian had hit all of the Gallaghers hard but Fiona had lost it completely, he had realized that Ian hadn’t been just a brother to Fiona, he had been her kid. 

“Hey.” He said with a smile. 

Fiona turned on the stool and stood up. 

“Hey.” She said and glanced at Yev. Mickey smiled watching her face fall. 

“Whoa.” She said and walked toward them, she held her arms out and Mickey gave her a hard hug, she let him go and Mickey saw her eyes were still on Yev’s face. 

Yev was shifting his eyes away and back to Fiona. 

“Holy shit.” Fiona said. “I know who you are.” 

Mickey smiled and looked at Yev, his eyes were narrowed and he saw his eyes flash. 

“She knew you when you were a baby man.” He said. Mickey saw his eyes clear. 

“Ya I did.” Fiona said and held her hand out, Mickey saw Yev flinch. Fiona held his arm and looked him up and down. 

“You got big!” Fiona said with a laugh. Mickey chuckled and watched Yev smile a little. 

“Ian’s sister.” He said. 

Yev’s eyes softened and Mickey saw his kid’s heart. 

“Fiona!” She said wrapping her arms around him, he watched Fiona’s eyes close as she held him for a second. 

“Aunt Fiona to you.” Fiona said smiling as she pulled away. 

Mickey smiled and watched Yev, he looked confused and a little nervous. 

“How’s Luke?” Fiona said still holding Yev’s arm. 

“He’s fine.” He said quickly. Yev took a step back when Fiona said Luke’s name, he hadn’t told anyone that Yev was the one who had jumped Luke but Yev didn’t know that. 

Fiona opened her mouth and Mickey cut her off. 

“Can we get a table?” He said waving his hands up and flashing Fiona a smile. “I’m fuckin’ starvin’. 

“Ya sure.” She said and turned around to the counter, she picked up some menus and waved them to the left. They followed her to the table and Mickey shoved himself into the booth unzipping his coat as Fiona sat next to him. Yev sat across from him and he slid a menu across the table to Yev.

“Hey.” The waitress said as she put two coffee mugs on the table. 

Mickey nodded and saw Yev look up at her, he smiled and Mickey saw his eyes change from mildly annoyed to manly interest in a heartbeat. 

‘Definatly not gay.’ He thought smiling. He pushed off his coat and pulled up his shirt sleeves. 

“Thanks.” Yev said as she poured coffee. 

“Sure.” The waitress said with her eyes flashing at Yev. The waitress was young and pretty and she was definitely checking Yev out. 

Mickey heard Fiona snort out a laugh and turned to her, she was watching Yev. 

“Right?” he said. 

“Ya.” Fiona said nodding. 

Yev put his hand around his mug and tore his eyes away from the waitress and over to them. 

“What?” Yev said with a scowl. 

“Man that’s freaky.” Fiona said. 

“No shit.” He said. 

Yev slouched on his side of the table and picked up his menu, he held it up blocking his face. 

“You want your usual Mickey.” The waitress said. 

“Ya.” He said bracing his arms on the table. 

“I’ll give you a minute.” The waitress said to Yev and walked away. 

Mickey pushed his hand on his neck and turned to Fiona smiling, she turned her wide eyes to his. 

“Wow.” She mouthed. 

Mickey nodded and brought his hand down over hers, she turned her hand in his and he bit his lip smiling. Fiona knew how happy Ian would be that Yev was home, he had always been crazy about Yev and had taken care of him from the start, even when Mickey wouldn’t or couldn’t Ian had. 

Fiona’s eyes teared up, he lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder. Fiona turned to him and smiled blinking her eyes. Mickey rubbed her shoulder and she leaned into him. 

“How long are you staying?” Fiona asked. “Where are you staying? Oh..” She said before either of them could answer. “You have to come to the house, everyone will lose their shit you’re home.” 

“He’s staying with us.” He said picking up his coffee. 

Yev lowered the menu and drank his coffee. 

“Did Luke come home?” Fiona asked. 

“Ya.” He said. 

Yev looked away and across the restaurant. 

“Whatcha gettin’?” He asked Yev. 

“The breakfast special.” Yev said. 

“Huh.” He said and hid his smile behind his mug. 

“I’ll go put that in.” Fiona said standing up. 

“Thanks.” He said. Fiona smiled leaning over and kissed Yev on the cheek. Yev’s eyes went wide and Fiona stood up smiling. 

“So cute.” Fiona said and rushed off. 

Mickey laughed under his breath against his mug and watched Fiona look back at them, he took a drink and his eyes went back to Yev, he was trying to look bored but Mickey saw right through him. 

“She’s all touchy feely.” He said smiling. 

“Yeah.” Yev said with a twist of his head widening his eyes. 

“All the Gallaghers are.” He said and thought. “Well Lip and Carl not so much.” 

“Who’s that?” Yev asked.

“Ian’s brothers.” 

“Hmph.” Yev picked up his mug and glanced up at him. “Do you have brothers?” 

“Ya.” He said. “I have brothers.” 

Mickey felt his heart squeeze, Yev wanted to know about him and his life. 

“We have shit tons of family.” He said rolling his eyes up. 

Yev pulled his mug away from his mouth and lowered it, he held the mug with both hands staring at it. 

“So.” He said. “What do you do?”

“Huh? Yev said looking up at him.

“School? Work? Go to the gun range? What?” He said with a smile. 

“Nothing.” He said with a shrug. 

“Hm.” Mickey said with a nod. ‘Runnin wild huh?” 

Yev shrugged.

“Yeahh.” He said with a sigh. “I miss that shit.” 

Yev snorted out a laugh and Mickey crossed his arms. He was younger than Yev when he had started running wild all over the South Side with Ian, he smiled remembering the long summer days of hanging out, spending all of their time together and getting into shit loads of trouble. They didn’t get caught a lot but when they did he never doubted for a second Ian would have his back. 

“Your buddies.” He said. “The ones in New York, they look out for you?” 

“They’re just guys I know.” Yev said. 

“Hm.” He murmured and picked up his mug. 

Yev looked up at the waitress as she put the plates down, Yev saw they ordered the same thing and rolled his eyes. 

Mickey smirked and shrugged a shoulder up. 

“You got good taste.” He said picking up a piece of bacon and nodded to the waitress, she flashed him a very pretty smile. 

“You single?” He asked the waitress and shoved bacon in his mouth.

He heard Yev hiss, he raised his eyebrows at the waitress and laughed wickedly. 

 

 

Mickey turned down his old street and saw his old house, he smiled over at Yev. 

“Hey.” He said. “See that house.” He pointed. 

“Yeah.” Yev said. 

“That’s where we lived.” Mickey said. “My brothers live there and my cousins.” 

“Mm.” Yev murmured. 

“I have a sister too.” He said. 

Yev stared out the windshield, he didn’t know if he did that much staring and ignoring people when he was young but man that was annoying.

‘Probably did.’ He thought with a sigh. 

Mickey had talked Yev into coming back to the house with him but that’s as far as he got so far. Yev had left his coat at the house and Yev had only agreed to stop long enough to pick it up. 

Mickey slowed down and braced his arm on the window, he moved his thumb back and forth over his lip. 

“I could walk faster.” Yev said. 

“Huh?” He said and glanced over at Yev, he was scowling at him. 

“It’s the long one on the right.” Yev said. “You push it down with your foot.” 

“Ya..well..I’m being safe.” He said with a scowl. “I got my kid in the car.” 

Yev rolled his eyes. 

They went as a snail’s pace and Mickey tried to think of a way to talk some sense into Luke AND get Yev to stay all in the time it would take to get Yev coat without any guns or bloodshed. 

He turned onto his street and glanced over at Yev, he was staring straight ahead with his arms crossed over his chest.

Mickey sighed and sped up, he turned into the driveway without one single fucking idea how to keep Yev here. He hissed and shoved the truck in park, he pulled the keys out and dropped out of the truck, Yev didn’t get out of the truck. Mickey slammed the truck door closed and walked up to the door, he unlocked the door and walked in holding the doorknob. 

The house was quiet, he pulled the door closed and looked over at the coats, Luke’s and Lou’s coats were gone. Mickey turned his head and walked through the living room, he walked up to Luke’s door and saw it was empty. 

“Fuuuck.” He shot out leaning against the doorjamb and punched the wood with the side of his fist. 

He turned around and walked to the table, he picked up his phone and saw Luke’s name. 

He let out a breath and read his text. 

“I’ll call later.” He read. 

“Oh ya great” he said. “Lots of information there?!” 

He hit reply. “Where the fuck are you?” He typed and hit send. 

“They’re gonna fuckin’ kill me.” He said to himself and picked up his pack of smokes, he pulled one out and held it in his lips as he walked back through the living room and out the door. He walked to the truck and pulled the door open. 

“He’s not here.” Mickey said with the smoke hanging out of his mouth. Yev smirked and nodded his chin up. 

Mickey smirked and nodded pulling the smoke out of his lips and waved it. 

“Ya OK? He said. “Don’t’ believe me.” 

Yev looked through the windshield with a scowl. 

Mickey shoved the smoke back to his mouth and lit it widening his eyes, he took a drag and whipped the cigarette away from his mouth. 

“Alright.” He said nodding. “I get it.” 

“Get what?” Yev said in a hard voice. 

“I’m fuckin’ this all up.” He said and waved his hands out. “I got one kid who’s bullshit at me and the other one can’t wait to get the fuck away from me.” 

Mickey stomped his feet in the cold and wrapped one arm around his chest, he took a drag of his smoke and laughed. 

“Which one are you huh?” He said with a smile. “Could be either.” 

Yev’s eyes slanted over to him, he saw the side of his mouth turn up a fraction. 

Mickey smiled and looked down at his feet shivering in the cold. 

“It’s cold man.” Yev said. 

“Ya.” He said taking a drag of his smoke. 

“Get in the truck.” Yev said. 

“Nah man, I’m good.” He said with a sniff. 

Yev rolled his eyes and worked his jaw out, he looked away and Mickey brought the cigarette up to his mouth to hide his smile. 

“Jesus.” Yev said. 

Mickey heard him push open the door. 

‘Ha.’ He thought. ‘Gotcha.’ 

Yev walked around the truck and glared at him as he walked toward the house. 

“What?” Mickey teased. 

Yev shook his head slowly. 

Mickey smiled as he followed Yev into the house. 

 

 

Mickey read the text from Luke and sat back in his chair. 

“I’m out with Carl’.” It said. 

‘That’s fuckng it huh?’ He thought. 

“What’s wrong? Heidi asked. 

He looked up at her and picked up his beer. 

“Nothin.’ He said and took a drink. 

Mandy and Heidi had come over in a minute when he had called them, Yev was immediately smothered with love, Mandy had come in and pulled Yev up out of his seat to give him a long hard hug. 

“That’s Mandy.” He had. Yev had surprised almost panicked look on his face as he patted Mandy’s back lightly. 

“My turn.” Heidi had said. She had ripped him out of Mandy’s arms. 

Yev had said something in Russian and he waved his hands up at him and bit his lip. Yev’s wide eyes looked back at him as Heidi squeezed him. 

Yev had said something else in Russian, Mickey didn’t understand it but he did hear the struggle to speak. 

“Heidi.” He said. 

“Ya!” She said. 

“He needs to breathe.” He said. 

“Oh ya.” He said and let him go. “Sorry.” She said with a giggle. 

Yev let out a long breath. 

“Man you’re like movie star gorgeous.” Heidi said in a hushed voice.

Mickey watched Yev’s eyes roll away, Mickey tilted his head and looked closer. 

‘He's blushing.’ He thought. ‘Heh’

“He looks just like you Mick.” Mandy said. 

Yev’s eyes froze. 

“Ya he does.” Heidi said. “I always thought Mickey was gorgeous, almost as gorgeous as Ian.” Heidi lifted his finger across her mouth and lifted her eyes up thinking. 

“But you’re like both of their gorgousness rolled in one.” Heidi said. 

Yev’s eyes had softened. 

‘Is that a word?” He had asked. 

“Yes.” Heidi had said with a nod and wrapped her arm through Yev’s.

“Tell me all about Russia. Does Vodka really come out of the tap?” Heidi asked as she pulled Yev to the table, Mickey had kicked back and crossed his ankles smiling.

Yev wasn’t going anywhere as long as they were around. 

He looked down back down at his phone, it was almost 9 pm. Mandy and Heidi had kept Yev busy all day and had talked him into going out with them tomorrow so one kid was would be staying home tonight but he had no idea where the other one was and if he was coming home. 

He stood up and walked down the hall with his beer in his hand, he hit the call back button and put the phone to his ear as he walked into Luke’s bedroom. 

“Hey this is Luke.” He heard. He closed his eyes and sat on Luke’s bed. 

“I’m rehearsing.” Mickey smiled, Luke was always rehearsing. 

“Leave a message and I’ll call you back.” 

Mickey bit the inside of his cheek and felt his heart ache. He wanted to talk to him, he heard the beep and took a breath. 

“Hey man, just checking in, seeing if you’re still pissed. Probably are.” He said and swirled his beer in his hand. 

“Give me a call huh? Let me know you’re alright.” He let the phone drop and he hit end pulling it away from his ear letting out a long slow breath. 

He looked down at his phone and took a long drink of his beer, he heard Yev laugh and looked up to the door. 

‘I can’t lose him’ He thought and pushed a hand over his mouth. 

The phone vibrated in his hand, it was a text from Luke. 

“I’m alright.’ He read.

‘I can’t lose either of them.’ He thought and closed his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Mickey came awake and bolted up with the alarm that was blaring through the house, he ran and hit the doorjamb pulled himself around the corner, he saw Luke standing at the alarm with his hands over his ears. 

“Oh what the fuck?” He said. “Turn it off.” He called out. 

Luke didn't move. 

Mickey rushed up next to him and punched in the code, the house went silent. 

“Holy fuck.” He hissed out. 

“THANK YOU.” Luke said yelling. Luke stumbled standing still, Mickey caught his elbow. 

“I’VE NEVER HEARD THE ALARM BEFORE.” Luke yelled. “THAT’S REALLY LOUD.” Luke said with his eyes wide. 

“YA.” He said. He pulled Luke’s arms down. “It’s really loud.”

“Riiggght?” Luke said. Luke held onto his arm. 

“Are you drunk?” He asked. 

Luke waved a hand up and frowned. 

“Nooo.” Luke said and let out a sloppy sputter. 

“Yeaah.” He said. 

Luke’s eyes widened. “No really, I had one.. shot.. something called a Kamikaze or was it Samurai..I don’t know...” Luke trailed off.

“That was so loud.” Luke said. 

“Did you take the pain meds?” He asked smiling. 

“Nope.” Luke said nodding. “Dr. Ambrose sounds like wind whispering through the trees, you should hear it …hmm.” Luke trailed off again. 

“So you drank?” He said. 

“No, no no.” Luke said. “I have two..or was it three? But there was fruity stuff.. was that a drink?” 

“Don’t ask me man.” He said. 

“Oh OK.” Luke said nodding. 

“I wasn’t there, I don’t know. “He said with a smile. 

“Righhht.” Luke said and patted his arm. “It’s OK.” 

“Uh huh.” He said. 

Luke leaned over and looked down at his jeans. 

“Oh shit.” Luke said. 

Mickey turned his head widening his eyes. “Oh shit what oh shit?”

“I’m ringing.” Luke said. 

“Ahhhh.” He said. 

“I’m buzzing somewhere.” Luke said. 

“You’re buzzing everywhere.” He said. 

Luke giggled and took his good hand away from his arm, Luke stumbled in place again. 

Mickey rolled his eyes and caught him, he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. 

“Ringing and buzzing.” He said “Got it.”

He saw the name James and his accept. 

“We’re fine.” He said as he brought the phone up to his ear. 

“Jesus Christ!” Frick shot out. “What the fuck?” 

Mickey smirked at Luke, Luke smiled and swayed. 

“Luke tripped over the alarm.” He said. 

Luke tilted his head. “Ya!” 

“Gave me a heart attack.” Frick said. 

“Ya OK?!" He said. “How are you talking then?” 

“Is James having a heart attack?” Luke asked. 

“Ya.” He said with a tilt of his head. 

“We’re OK.” Luke yelled. 

Luke nodded and winked at him with both eyes. 

“See, he says we’re OK.” He said. 

“Well I’m not OK.” Frick said with a long breath. 

“He’s not OK.” He said. 

Luke waved his bandaged hand and Mickey held the phone to Luke’s ear. 

“James!” Luke said. “You’re not OK?” 

Mickey gigged and held Luke up. 

“Oh.” Luke said nodding. “I understand.” Luke said with a long sigh. 

“So how’s Ginny?” Luke said and leaned against him. 

“Alright.” He said and pulled the phone away from his ear, Luke swayed back and he held him up by his coat. 

“Whoooa.” Luke said.

Mickey put the phone back to his ear.

“Hey.” He said. 

“Is he drunk?” Frick asked. 

“Ya think?” Mickey said. 

Luke pulled himself forward. 

“Luke is drunk?” Frick said. 

“This is fun.” Luke said and swayed back and forth smiling like an idiot. 

“Oh fuck ya!” Mickey said. 

“Weeeee.” Luke said swaying and let his head fall back. 

Luke stopped swaying and looked at him with glazed eyes. “Oh bad idea.” Luke said. 

“Ya." He said. “You’ve had a lot of those lately.” 

“Ya.” Luke said and patted his arm. “Me too.” 

Mickey laughed and shook his head. 

“I think it was just a couple.” He said into the phone. 

“That doesn’t sound like a couple.” Frick said. 

“You kiddin’ me?” He said. “He’s a fucking lightweight.”

Luke’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not nice.” 

“But I meant it in a nice way.” He said with a bright smile. 

“Ohhhh.” Luke said. “Mrs. Lombardi.”

Mickey tilted his head. “I gotta get his ass into bed.” 

“Alright.” Frick said with a laugh. 

“Sorry man.” He said. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Frick said. 

“Later.” He said and hit end. 

Mickey pulled Luke’s coat off and he hung it up behind him keeping one hand on Luke. 

“Come on man.” He said and turned Luke around. 

“James didn’t really have a heart attack.” Luke said. 

“Nope.” He said. 

“He worries.” Luke said in a low tone leaning over.

“Yep.” He said and pulled Luke up by his shoulders. 

“I think I busted a hearing muscle.” Luke said and opened his mouth. 

“Oh ya?” He said and pulling Luke across his room and sat him down on his bed. 

Luke nodded and went over onto his side.

“Shit.” He said. “Watch the hand.”

Luke lifted his hand and looked at it. 

Mickey giggled and Luke smiled at him. 

Mickey laughed as he pulled Luke’s sneakers off and shoved his long legs onto the bed. Luke lifted his glasses and put them on the nightstand. 

“Jeans.” He said. 

Luke closed his eyes and unbuttoned his jeans, he pulled them down and Mickey pulled them off by the cuffs. 

Mickey reached behind him and pulled the blankets up over him, he picked up the pillow on the nightstand and lifted Luke’s hand gently, he lowered his hand over the pillow. 

“Thanks.” Luke said with a goofy smile.

“Sure man.” He said and kissed his forehead. 

“Sap.” Luke said. 

Mickey pushed his hand over Luke’s hair. 

“Ya.” He said smiling. 

“I love you.” Luke said. 

Mickey felt his heart warm and he smiled down at his drunk kid. 

“I love you too.” He said. 

Mickey stepped back and walked to the door. 

“Hey.” He said. “Where’s Lou?” 

“Umm, New York.” Luke said. 

“She went home?” He asked. 

“Yep.’ Luke said. 

“She alright?” He asked. 

“Ya.” Luke said with a big smile. 

“Why’d she go home?” He asked. 

“Cuz she lives there?!” Luke said. 

Mickey laughed and watched Luke’s face soften. 

“Goodnight goofy” He said smiling. 

“Goodnight Mickey.” Luke said. 

Mickey pulled the door closed behind him. 

“Goodnight Ian.” Luke said. 

Mickey closed the door and felt the tears burn the back of his eyes as he walked into their bedroom. Mickey pushed his hand over his aching heart and sat back against the headboard closing his eyes. Luke had always said goodnight to them in the same way and hearing it had ripped into his heart like a shot, he felt the pain overwhelm him, he couldn’t stop it, he didn’t try, it was too big and it came too fast, his heart shattered in his chest as it all came back in a rush. Ian being hurt, Ian not waking up, telling Ian he had to go. 

Mickey squeezed his eyes shut and held his head in his hands, he took a breath and felt the pain.

‘You think I can breathe without you?’

Ian’s eyes filled with love for him. 

Mickey let out the breath and shook his head. 

‘Mickey breathe.’ He heard. 

Mickey felt his tears rush through his closed eyes.

‘Breathe right now!’ 

It took everything he had to take in the next long shuttering painful breath. 

 

Yev lay awake staring into the dark, he had heard the alarm and come awake slowly, he was used to huge loud noises when he was asleep, if he wasn’t he would have never slept in his whole life. 

He smiled in the dark listening to Mickey and Luke, he had laughed quietly at their jokes and picking on each other. He had heard them go through the house and the smile fell from his face. They were family to each other and he was… he didn’t know what he was. 

There was a part of him that always wanted to know Mickey, he had heard the stories and had hated him for most of his life until his mother had brought him to Chicago three years ago and told him the worst thing he had ever heard with her eyes hard and her breath stinking of vodka. 

That day had changed everything.

It changed how he felt about his mother his father and himself. He was a product of violence and pain and it was a stain on his soul. It had started as a mark and had pushed him until it had grown into everything he was and all he was going to be. 

That was the end and the beginning. 

He would take off and drift for weeks and his mother hadn’t tried to find him. He would go back for money, his mothers had loads of cash and he knew all of her hiding places. It was worth her anger when she would figure out he had taken it, the money got him a lot of ‘friends’ on the street. They’d crash wherever and he’d pay for their booze or their drugs and then they didn’t care so much about his Russian accent or the fact that he was a kid. 

Over time he had shaken off most of the accent and built a wall of steel around him, no one messed with him. He had no direction and that’s what he wanted but there were days and weeks he couldn’t remember, there were things he had done he couldn’t remember and people he had hurt that he didn’t remember. 

Including Luke. 

He didn’t remember any of it, he had flashes of memory but there were none about why he had jumped Luke that day. He tried to remember and only remembered being lit before noon and taking whatever he could to forget that nobody cared about him that day or any day. He had woken up the next morning beat to shit with a pair of broken glasses next to him on the bed. The others had told him they had jumped Luke and they were all laughing except Smitty, he was moaning and groaning about his nose. Yev had gone with him to the ER because he was the only one with any money and Mickey had exploded into the room. 

They first word his father had said to him was his name, the name he hated with all of his heart. Whenever he heard his name, he heard his mother’s voice dripping with disappointment and disgust.

It wasn’t a name, it was a curse. 

He still didn’t know what made him get on the plane and come here, all he knew was everything in him was telling him to leave but seeing Mickey’s eyes look back at him with something other than the detached disgust that he saw in his mother’s eyes kept him here. 

‘One more night.’ He thought. He felt his heart sink in his chest and ignored it. 

He sat up in the dark and crossed his legs, he leaned over the end of the futon and reached into the bottom of his bag for his notebooks. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it around to shine the light down, he picked up the newer notebook and opened it on his lap. He flipped through the pages and found where he left off, he went over the lines on the page as he pulled the pencil out of the spiral binder edge. The numbers lined up and slipped through his mind like sand falling down into a perfect pattern. 

He chewed on his lip and hunched over, he brought the pencil to the paper and started writing. 

 

Luke was walking around the corner of the kitchen and saw Ian standing in front of the stove. 

“Morning.” Ian called out. 

“Mphm.” He grumbled. 

“Late night?” Ian asked brightly. 

“Carl.” He murmured. 

“Hmm.” Ian murmured.

He felt something in his hand, it was a big cup. 

“Thanks.” He said and turned around. 

“Sure.” Ian said. He walked around the table and held his hand out for the chair, he sat down and drank from the cup. 

“What’d you do?” Ian asked. 

“Hm?” He said and turned his head in Ian’s direction. “Oh just went out.” 

“Just went out huh?” Ian said. Luke opened his eyes, Ian was a blur of white and orange. 

“Yes.” He said and tucked his chin in his chest. 

“Ah perfect.” Ian said. 

“What are you making?” He asked. 

“You’ll see.” Ian said. 

Luke smiled and drank from his cup, it felt bigger in his hand.

Luke saw Ian’s blur walk over to the table and heard a plate go down in front of him. 

“Thank you.” He said. 

“You’re welcome.” Ian said and sat across from him. 

Luke looked down at the plate and tried to focus his eyes, he saw yellow and red blur. 

He lifted his hand and found the fork, he shoved it under the yellow blur and took a bite. 

Luke tasted eggs onion and tomatoes and his mouth turned up into a big smile. 

“An omelet? He said.

“Ya.” Ian said. 

Luke murmured happily.

“Where’s Mickey?” He asked. 

“Sleeping.” Ian said. “He’s pretty tired.”

Luke heard a worried ring in Ian’s voice. 

Luke felt a bubble of nervousness rise up in him, he had woken Mickey up last night. 

“Was he mad?” He asked quietly. 

“No.” Ian said. 

Luke looked down at his plate, he pushed his omelet pieces around on the plate with his fork. 

“He’s not mad.” Ian said. “He’s worried.” 

Luke lifted his head. “I’m fine.” He said. 

“No you’re not.” Ian shot out. 

Luke’s head went back and his eyes widened. Ian snapped into focus, he saw Ian’s narrowed eyes on his. 

“What are you doing?” Ian said with a hard edge. 

Luke felt his heart twist and shrugged a shoulder. 

Ian sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, Luke felt his intense stare and looked down at the table, he fiddled with the fork and took a deep breath. 

“I’m doing what you wanted me to do.” He said. 

He heard Ian let out a long hard breath. 

“Luke.” Ian said quietly. Luke felt Ian’s hand cover his and he closed his eyes. 

He felt Ian’s arm come around his shoulder, he leaned into him and he felt Ian pull him in. 

Luke felt the pressure in his chest and let the tears fall. Ian’s big hand moved up and down his back, he sniffed and turned his hand over in Ian’s. 

“You’re OK.” Ian said. 

He nodded against Ian and pulled away pushing his wrist under his nose with a sniff. 

“Everything’s OK.” Ian said. 

Luke looked up at him, Ian was smiling. Luke felt his heart lift and realized he shouldn’t have to look up at him. 

“Why am I so short?” He asked. 

Ian laughed. Luke wiped his eyes and smiled at Ian. 

Ian pulled at his head, Luke laughed and felt Ian’s arms wrap around him in a warm hug. 

 

Luke turned over in his sleep and mumbled. “No waffles?” He heard Ian’s giggle and smiled. 

 

Mickey heard the alarm clock and his hand went out to hit it, it turned off and slid down the side table and hung off the side of the bed. 

He rolled his eyes behind his eyelids. 

‘Fuck.’ He thought and forced his eyes open into slits. 6 am.

‘Great.’ He thought closing his eyes. 

Mickey let himself drift for a minute and sighed. 

‘Gotta get up.’ He thought. 

‘Nah.’ He thought and brought his hand up around his waist under Ian’s arm, Ian’s arm wasn’t there and he remembered. 

He opened his eyes and stared into the dark. 

‘Get up.’ He said to himself. 

He took a deep breath and sat up straight, he pushed his hands over his face and took slow breaths. He let the pain float in him as he tried to focus on the present, he had two sons that hadn’t killed each other but it was only day three of the war. 

Yev had gone with Mandy while Heidi had taken Luke out. Mickey thought it was a divide and conquer plan, it didn’t work but it was a nice try. They had both come back as wary of each other as they had been that morning. 

They ignored each other, except for the dirty looks. 

‘It’s a start.’ He thought. 

Mickey pushed at his eyes. 

‘Ya HA.’ He thought sputtering. 

He stood up and headed toward the door, he walked down the hall into the living room and saw the red glow of the alarm system. He kept walking and opened the office door quietly, he saw Yev sleeping and let out the breath he had been holding. 

‘Still here.’ He thought. 

 

Yev opened his eyes when he heard the door close, he let out a breath and rolled onto his back. He had no idea what time it was, the room was dark but Mickey had hit the button on the automatic shades when he had come in the room the night before. 

Mandy had brought him around and he had met everybody, he had more people in one day than he had met in his entire life. 

They all said the same things.

“I haven’t seen you since you were a baby!”

“Where have you been?” 

“You look like Mickey.” There was a holy shit or a fuck thrown in but every single one of them had said it. 

He had heard it all of his life but they said it in a different way like it was a good thing. After the first fifteen times he heard it, he had stopped wanting to punch them, he couldn’t really hit every person who said he looked like his father. 

‘Father.’ He thought. That was a dirty word where he came from. 

He had felt something odd when he was around all the people Mandy had brought him to meet, they acted like he wasn’t a stranger, they acted like he was a friend and they didn’t even know him. 

It was pretty cool and once he got used to it he had had a good time. 

Mandy was awesome, she was loud and tough but she would smile at him and his heart would warm in his chest. 

She had sat with him on the old couch in Mickey’s old house and talked him into staying one more night. Yev rolled his eyes pushing his hand over his face. 

“I’m such a pussy.’ He thought with a sigh. ‘I’ll leave today.’ 

Yev had decided, he was leaving and nothing was going to stop him. 

He smelled coffee and sniffed the air, he twisted his mouth up and stared at the door. 

‘I’d have to go out there.’ He thought. 

He shook his head, he took another sniff of the coffee smell floating into the room. 

‘Man that smells good.’ He thought. 

‘Alright, alright.’ He said to himself rolling his eyes. 

Yev pushed himself up and braced his arms on the edge of the futon, he closed his eyes and took long deep breaths and felt the wash of steel flow over him, he opened his eyes and stood up. 

 

Mickey heard the office door and turned his head, he saw Yev walking through the living room with his arms crossed. 

“Hey.” He said.

Yev grunted. 

Mickey waved his smoke up and took a long drag. Yev walked to the table and stopped. 

Mickey watched him through the smoke, he was looking at the coffemaker and his eyes shifted away. 

Mickey turned his head and felt his heart ache, he closed his lips over his smoke and stood up with his mug, he walked to the coffee pot and poured himself more. 

“You want some?” Mickey asked looking over his shoulder. 

Yev shrugged a shoulder up. 

Mickey smiled and opened the cabinet, he pulled down another mug and poured the coffee in. He held his smoke between his fingers and walked back to the table, he put mug down on the table. Yev was still standing in the same spot, he waved a hand toward the chair at the end of the table as he sat down, Yev walked over and sat down slowly. 

Yev picked up his mug and took a sip, Mickey watched his eyes almost roll with pleasure. 

Mickey laughed quietly and took a long drag from his smoke. 

Yev shot him a dirty look and Mickey smiled at him. Yev shifted his eyes away and looked down into his coffee cup. 

“What are you doin’ up so early?” He asked. 

“I don’t know, I just woke up.” Yev said and slouched down in his chair with his hands around the mug. 

“There’s some eggs, you want somethin?’” He asked. 

Yev shook his head and took another long drink. 

“You need a bigger mug.” He said with a smile. 

Yev eyes shifted to him and he lowered the mug. 

They sat in silence, Mickey saw his face relax and the start of a smile on Yev's face. 

“Have you ever had Russian coffee?” Yev asked. 

“Have I ever had Russian coffee?” He said widening his eyes. 

Yev’s eyes lit up and his whole face changed. 

“YA!” He said. “That shit is the bomb.”

“Yeah.” Yev said nodding. 

“Like literally, it’s coffee napalm. Boom you’re awake!” He said.

Yev laughed and Mickey watched Yev’s eyes soften. 

Mickey heard Luke’s shuffling feet. 

“Hey.” Luke said. 

Yev’s smile fell from his face and the steel came back into his eyes. 

Mickey’s heart twisted.

“Hey.” Mickey said picking up his cup. 

Yev looked down at the table as Luke walked behind him and pulled open the refrigerator. 

There was silence, he glanced over his shoulder and Luke was leaning against the counter drinking orange juice glaring at Yev, he looked over at Yev and he was glaring at Luke. 

“Sooo.” He said and took a long drag of his smoke. “I’d love to stay and chat…” He said as he stood up.

“But I gotta go to work.” He said walking to the counter drinking from his mug. 

“You work?” Yev asked. 

“Ya.” He said and looked back at Yev, he had a confused look on his face. 

“I took a few days off to deal with…you know…” He waved a hand up. “Stuff.”

“Why?” Luke asked. 

Luke eyes were dark and he was staring bullets at Yev. Mickey looked at Yev, he was shooting glaring bullets right back at Luke. 

“Why what?” Yev said in a bored tone. 

“Why do you need to know?” Luke asked and lifted the jug to his mouth. 

“It was just a fucking question, calm the fuck down Nancy.” Yev said. 

Luke smiled around the orange juice and lowered it. “Nancy?” Luke said nodding. 

“That’s what I said.” Yev said and picked up his mug. 

“Ya, I heard you” Luke said and put the orange juice on the counter beside him. 

“You gonna pull another fucking gun?” Yev asked. 

“Nah, Mickey took out all the bullets.” Luke said. 

Yev’s glaring eyes landed on his.

“What?” He shot out. “So I don’t want you fucking killing each other.” 

Yev’s eyes shifted back to Luke.

Mickey looked back and forth between them and threw his hands up. 

“You know what?” He said and stomped through the kitchen. “You two stare at each other until your eyes bleed. I’m goin’ to work.” He said as he turned the corner into the hallway. 

“Have a good time.” He called out and turned into the bathroom, he slammed the door behind him and paced into the bathroom with his hands on his hips. He paced back to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. 

‘No.’ He thought. ‘Let them fight it out.’ 

Mickey pulled his hand away and grimaced, he waved his arms out and paced. 

‘It’s better than ignoring each other.’ He thought. 

“What are you gonna do, throw the bullets at me?” He heard Yev say. 

Mickey stopped and let out a long breath pushing his fingers into his eyes. 

‘Maybe not.’ He thought and shook his head.


	8. Chapter 8

Mickey walked down the hall into the living room, it was quiet. The office door was closed and he called out, “Hey, I’m leaving.”

He shoved his feet in his boots and tied the laces quickly. 

“Bye.” He heard Yev say. He smiled and walked over to the door, he picked up his coat and pulled it on opening the office door. Yev was sitting with his legs crossed on the futon with a notebook on his lap. Yev covered the notebook with one hand.

“Whatcha doin?” He asked with a smile pulling his coat sleeves down. 

“Nothing.” Yev said.

“Hm.” He murmured with a nod. 

“Later.” He heard Luke say. Mickey looked over and Luke was walking into the kitchen. 

Mickey looked back at Yev and the notebook was gone. 

“You gonna be OK?” He asked.

Yev nodded. 

“Listen..” He said and looked over at Luke. “Just don’t kill each other all right?” 

“OK.” Luke said. 

Mickey scowled and crossed his arms. 

“I mean it.” He said and looked at Yev. “No guns, no weapons.” 

Yev stared at him. 

Mickey rolled his eyes up. “Hey?” He said waving his arms out. 

“Yep.” Luke said. 

“Good, you?” He said pointing at Yev. “Where’s your knife?” 

Yev glared at him, he stepped into the room and held his hand out. 

Yev hissed and rolled his eyes, he leaned over and pulled his bag onto the futon. Mickey watched him unzip the front pocket and look in. Yev closed it and opened another pocket, he saw the envelope he had given Yev, Yev pulled out the envelope and scowled, he unzipped the top zipper and pulled out his clothes with a long breath, Yev pulled everything out and froze. 

Yev looked up at him and turned the bag upside down. 

The bag was empty. 

 

Luke listened to them sitting in Ian’s seat. Yev would know he took his glasses and the knife out of his bag and he was fine with that, maybe it would get him out of here. Yev never should have come and he was going to make sure he left as soon as possible. 

“Good.” He heard Mickey say. 

He heard Mickey’s footsteps and saw him come out of the office. 

“Just so we’re clear, no killing and keep the bloodshed to a minimum huh?” Mickey said. 

Luke nodded. Mickey smirked at him and looked back into the office waving a hand up. 

“Alright.” Mickey said in a long breath. Mickey turned around and pulled the door open, he looked back at Luke and pulled the door closed. 

Luke crossed his arms and sat back, there was complete silence in the house, Luke heard Mickey’s truck start and rumble for a long minute, he heard the truck back up and drive away. 

Luke drummed his good fingers on his arm. 

“Where is it?” He heard.

“Nowhere you can find it?” He called out. 

“You went through my stuff?” He heard. 

Luke heard every tone in his voice and ignored them. 

“Ya.” He called out. 

Luke heard Yev's feet hit the floor and walk across the office. 

“Let’s go.’ He thought narrowing his eyes. 

Yev's footsteps stopped at the door, Luke saw the door closing, he heard the click of the door closing all the way and his head went back. 

‘Huh?’ He thought. 

Luke tilted his head, he heard Yev’s footsteps and then nothing. 

Luke stared at the door, Yev wasn’t coming out.

 

Yev sat on the futon and focused on the page in the notebook, he didn’t struggle with the numbers or the math, he loved them, they were perfect. They were always the same and the numbers meant what they were and he could add, subtract multiply and divide them as he chose. He had been working on this one equation for weeks and he wasn’t close to finishing it, it filled his notebook over and over. He had realized twice he had missed something and had to start all over again but he had all the time in the world. Math was the only thing that cleared his mind from the haze of anger and pain, everything else went away and he was clear and focused. 

He flipped a page back and read over it for the hundredth time. 

‘That’s right.’ He thought and twisted his mouth and slid the pencil over his lips. Everything lined up in his mind and he flipped the page back. 

Yev wrote carefully and heard a vague knocking sound, his mind was already on the next line and he started writing faster. 

“Where is he?” He heard and his hand stopped, his heart froze and his mind started to hum. 

“Who?” He heard. 

“Yevgeny.” He heard in her Russian accent. 

“Ah.” Luke said. 

“Who are you?” New boyfriend?” She said with a nasty tone.

“Excuse me?” Luke said. 

“Fuck.” He hissed and shoved the notebook aside, he heard his mother’s harsh laugh as he stormed over to the door and pulled it open. 

Luke was standing with his back to the office door.

“What?” He said and walked into the living room. 

His mother turned to him and her eyes flickered over him and away, she walked through the living room and looked around the room with her slick cat eyes. 

“AH hello?” Luke said. 

She smiled and picked up a picture from the side table. 

“He doesn’t know who I am?” She said in Russian glancing over at him. 

“No, why should he?” He said in Russian. 

She lifted her eyebrows and put the picture flat on the table. 

“Who is he?” She asked him. 

“He’s their son.” He said. 

Her eyes shot up to Luke and her lips turned up into a slick smile. Yev started shaking his head.

She stepped up to Luke and her eyes looked him up and down. 

“Can I help you?” Luke said. 

“Is nice.” She said and waved her hand around.

“Ya.” Luke said. 

“Is small no?” She said. 

“It works for us?” Luke said. 

“I am his mother.” She said smiling at Luke. 

“OK.” Luke said. 

“I raise him myself.” She said as she looked around at the pictures on the walls. 

Yev’s heart fell to his stomach, his neck burned and he heard the buzz in his head get louder. 

“With no money.” She said with a wave of her hand. 

“Really?” Luke said. Yev glanced at Luke, his eyes were narrowed and dark. 

“That’s pretty rough.” Luke said.

“Mm.” She murmured. 

Yev shifted on his feet and glared at her. 

“How much?” Luke said. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed out in Russian. 

“Shut up!" She shot out in Russian pointing at him. "If you had brains you would have the money already.” 

Yev felt the words like a slap. 

Luke turned around and walked through the open office door, she watched Luke walk away and her eyes came to his. 

“You shouldn't have come here.” He said in Russian. 

She ignored him and walked over to the wall with a picture of Ian. 

Luke walked through the living room with a large black check book in his hand. 

“Wait.” He said in Russian and let out a sharp breath. 

Luke walked to the counter and flipped open the checkbook, he pulled out the pen and wrote quickly, he held the checkbook down with the side of his cut hand and pulled out the check. 

Luke folded it with one hand and walked back into the living room with his eyes on her. 

“Take it and get out.” Luke said. 

She smiled and her hand went out. 

“This is all you’re getting.” Luke said pulling back the check. “Not a penny more.”

“How much?” She said eyeing Luke carefully. 

“A hundred.” Luke said.

Yev hissed. 

“Take it or leave it.” Luke said. 

She waited a beat and held out her hand. 

“I take.” She said. 

“This is it.” Luke said. 

“Sure.” She said shrugging a shoulder up. 

Luke put the check in her hand, she smiled her evil cat smile and slid the check in her pocket. 

She walked over to him and held his face, she turned his head and leaned in to kiss his cheek and pulled away smiling. 

He stood motionless as she dropped her hand and walked to the door. 

“It’s a shitty house.” She said in Russian as she looked back, she walked out the door pulling it closed behind her. 

Yev’s eyes stung and his heart burned. 

“So that’s your mother?” Luke said. 

Yev felt his head pound with rage and shoot through him, he turned and walked into the office. He picked up his notebook and shoved it in his bag, he pushed his feet into his boots and sat down swinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Nice.” Luke said from the door. 

Yev didn’t look up, he tied his boots and stood up. 

“Although I don’t see what Mickey saw in her.” Luke said. 

Yev’s heart and mind exploded. “He saw her forcing him to fuck her with his father’s gun pointed at his fucking head” He hissed out. 

Luke’s face froze. “What?” Luke breathed out. 

Yev felt the shock of what he had just said rip through him and started to push past Luke. 

“Wait.” Luke shot out. “What did you just say?” Luke said grabbing his arm. 

“Don’t touch me.” He said in a low warning voice. 

Luke let go of his arm, he stepped back and watched Luke’s eyes fill with anger and tears. 

Yev felt his heart twist with pain, he had fucked up again and hurt Luke. He pushed a hand over his head and took a sharp breath. 

“Look man.” He said. “Just forget it, it’s not true.” 

“Yes it is.” Luke said. 

Yev saw his hard eyes and heard his steel tone. 

“Yeah well now you know.” He said quickly. “Doesn’t change your perfect little life.” 

“My life is not perfect.” Luke said.

“It’s not huh?” He said with a hard smile. “It looks pretty fuckin’ perfect to me.”

”How the fuck do you think I ended up living here?” Luke said giving him a shove. 

“Hey!” He shot out grabbing Luke's wrist. “Back the fuck up." 

The stood frozen, Luke glared down at him.

“I came here because my junkie whore mother didn’t give a shit when my father almost beat me to death.” Luke said.

Luke gave him a shake and Yev pulled his hand away from him. 

“They gave me EVERYTHING.” Luke hissed out. “My whole life is because of them and do you think I’m going to let you in here and fuck it all up?” 

Yev took a step back and felt his legs start to shake, Luke had the familiar glare of hate and disgust in his eyes and he felt his heart tearing in his chest. 

“You got your money.” Luke said. “That’s what you came for.”

Yev tried to take a breath and speak but the words wouldn’t come out. 

“Ya that’s what I thought.” Luke said. 

“I..did’n..I.” He started and stuttered over the words. 

“You didn’t what?!” Luke snapped. “Come here because you knew about the money? A little side scam with your mother huh? Ya you did.” 

"Mick.."He started. 

“Oh I won’t tell him.” Luke said crossing his arms. “It would break his heart.” Luke’s voice cracked. 

Yev couldn’t breathe or move, he only felt the waves of bitterness and hate rolling off of Luke. 

“Mickey’s been through too much for you to come in here and fuck with his head!!” Luke said with venom in his voice. 

Yev felt his heart crumble to dust in his chest. 

“O..K.” He stammered out. 

“Don’t come back.” Luke said in a deadly voice. 

Yev shook his head and turned toward the door, he blindly pulled open the door and it swung open, he walked through the door and the pressure in his chest pushed up into his throat, he opened his mouth but no sound came out with the sob and no tears fell from his bright blue eyes. 

 

Mickey walked up to the door, he had no idea what they had done to the place but the house was still standing. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, the door hit the wall and he saw everything where it was supposed to be. 

Mickey walked through and looked into the office, the back of the futon was up and the sheets were folded in the corner. He walked through the quiet house and down the hallway, Luke’s door was open and his bed was made. 

He sighed and walked back into the kitchen rubbing a hand over his tired eyes, he opened the refrigerator and took out a beer, he twisted off the cap and walked over to the couch grumbling. He slammed the beer down on the coffee table and pulled at his laces, he pulled his feet out and kicked his boots under the table, he sat back picking up his beer pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“Fuckin’ kids.’ He grumbled. 

‘Where the fuck are you? Call me right fucking now!’ He typed out to both of them and hit send. He took a long drink and grimaced putting the phone beside him. 

Mickey narrowed his eyes and looked down at the phone, oh they better fucking call. They could be anywhere though, it was only 4 o’clock and they were grown ups, well mostly. Mickey sputtered to himself and pulled out his smokes, he put one in his teeth and held his lighter in his hand pushing his finger over it. Westford had texted him today asking him to call, he had blown it off, he just couldn’t deal with that shit right now, Luke and Yev were at each other’s throats and Yev being here had made him miss Ian more every day. 

Mickey lifted the lighter and opened his eyes, he lit the smoke turning his head and took a long drag throwing the lighter on the table. The text from Westford wasn’t a surprise, he checked in at least twice a week. Westford took care of the legal shit and the money, there were the money from the insurance, from the city and the state, donations had poured in from everywhere and he didn’t want a penny of it, it was all Luke’s and he barely touched it unless it was for someone else. 

Luke was a lot like Ian but he wasn’t acting like Ian right now. Mickey knew he was acting like him and it pissed him off, he thought Luke would be able to see, he really thought Luke would see Yev. 

Yev had an armor, he had a mouth and an attitude but Mickey saw beyond the armor to what was underneath and Yev was the loneliest person he had ever met. It broke his heart just to look at him sometimes. Yev looked like him and sounded like him but he was not like him. 

Mickey felt the phone buzz and knew who it was without looking, he picked up the phone and hit accept. 

“Hey.” He said smiling. 

“Hey.” Yev said. 

“Where are you?” He asked. 

“Your old house.” Yev said. 

“Oh ya?” He asked smiling. 

“Mm.” Yev murmured. 

“Whatcha doin’?” He asked. 

“Nothing, just hanging out.” Yev said. 

“Mm hm.” He murmured. 

Yev was quiet. Mickey took a drink and felt his heart sink. 

“You alright?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” Yev said. 

“I’ll come get you.” He said. 

“I’m gonna stay here man.” Yev said. 

“Huh?” He said. 

“I‘m gonna stay here.” Yev said quietly. 

“No you’re not.” He said. 

“Listen, it’s all good man, just…” Yev trailed off. 

“Just what?” He said. 

“Nothin’. Yev said. 

Mickey twisted his mouth up and took a hit off the beer, the house was a few miles away but it was a hell of a lot closer than New York. It might do Yev some go to not be around Luke and his glaring eyes. 

“Alright.” He said. “Just for tonight.”

He heard Yev snort out a laugh. 

“What?” He said rolling his eyes up. 

“You think I was asking?” Yev said. 

Mickey smiled. “Nah man.” He said. 

“Sure.” Yev said. 

Mickey chuckled and slid his thumb over his beer. 

“Bye.” Yev said quickly. 

“Lat…” He started to speak but the phone went dead in his ear. He let out a long breath and dropped the phone, it slid into his lap as he let his head fall back to the couch. 

 

Luke saw his phone light up with Mickey’s picture in the dark room and felt his heart sink lower in his chest, he closed his eyes and lowered his head onto his knees. 

 

Yev was sitting in his high chair and Mickey was pulling on his feet. Yev’s baby giggle laugh gurgled out of him every time he gave his leg a light tug, he laughed and widened his eyes, Yev smiled and clapped his hands together. Mickey pulled on his foot again and his shoe came off.

Yev giggled, he looked over and Ian was standing at the stove with his back turned, he put his finger up to his lips and Yev smiled at him, he slid his little shoe back on his foot. 

“Whatcha reading?” He asked smiling at Luke. 

“Hamlet.” Luke said. 

“Oh ya?” He said. 

“Hamlet huh?” Ian said. 

“Don’t get him started.” He said smiling at Ian. “He can quote that shit.” 

Ian crossed his arms and leaned against the counter next to the stove. 

Mickey rested his arm over the back of the chair and tilted his head, Ian wasn’t smiling, he was staring at Luke with a hard look on his face. 

“Hey.” He said. Ian’s eyes came to his, Mickey saw the worry in his eyes and stood up, he walked over to him and Ian dropped his arms. Mickey stepped in front of him smiling and slid his hand into his. 

“You were right.” Ian said. 

“I was?” He said with a bright smile lifting his hand to Ian’s face. “About what?” 

“About Luke.” Ian said. 

“Hmm?” he murmured and leaned in for a kiss.

Ian’s eyes narrowed as he kissed him. 

“Mick.” Ian said against his lips. 

“What.” He said. “Gimme a kiss.” 

“Mickey.” Ian said in a stern voice. 

“Whhhattt?!” He shot out shaking his head and waving his arm out. 

Ian smirked at him, he dropped his arm and flashed Ian a smile. 

Ian raised an eyebrow, OK this is serious. 

“What was I right about?” He asked smiling at Ian. 

“Look.” Ian said. Mickey looked over his shoulder Luke was sitting in the same spot watching them, his eyes went back down to the book as soon as he saw them both look over. 

“What am I looking at?” He asked. 

Ian grunted and turned him around by the arms. 

Mickey rolled his eyes and started to shrug until he saw the gun on the table spinning around and around. 

“Ya well, we had this one conversation there may have been a gun” He said tilting his head. 

“Not the gun.” Ian said. “Look at Luke!”

“OK! Jesus!” He hissed out. 

Mickey looked at Luke, he didn’t see anything. He heard a creaking noise, he saw Yev high chair slowly moving back. 

“Hey?” he said. 

The creaking stopped. 

“What’s he doing?” He said looking up at Ian.

Ian’s eyes were dark and sad. Mickey turned into him wrapping his hand around his waist. 

“I’m fine.” Ian said. “Luke is not.”

“He’s OK.” He said. 

Ian shook his head. “You’re not listening.” Ian paced away from him. 

“To what?” He said. 

“To Luke!” Ian said turning around and pacing. 

“He’s fucking fine.” He said crossing his arms. 

Ian stopped and held a hand out to Luke, he was pushing Yev’s high chair back with his foot. 

“Knock it off.” He said. 

Luke stopped 

“See.” He said “Done.”

“Oh ya suure.” Ian said waving his arms out wide. 

Mickey smiled with his tongue at the corner of his mouth and walked over to the table, he twirled his finger around the side of his head, Yev giggled and threw his head back drooling. Mickey laughed and held his hand out to Yev, he wrapped his little fingers around his and Mickey felt his heart swell with love. 

“Call Big.” Ian said. 

“Ya whatever.” He said Mickey shot him a dirty look. 

Yev little hand slipped out of his as the highchair tipped back. 

“Oh fuck.” He said reaching for the back of the highchair, it slipped through his fingers. Ian caught the back of the highchair before it hit the floor. Yev had a stunned look on his baby face. 

“Hi.” Ian said smiling down at Yev. 

Yev smiled and clapped his hands together. Mickey let out the breath he was holding and looked over at Luke, he had his eyes on the book. 

“What the fuck?” He said. 

“Dafuck!” Yev said as Ian picked him up.

Ian held Yev and looked over at Luke. 

Mickey held out his hands and Ian lowered Yev to him, he brought him down into his lap and held him tight closing his eyes. 

“Luke.” Ian said. 

“Yes?” Luke said. 

Mickey opened his eyes and looked over at Luke, he wasn’t little anymore he looked like he did now. 

Luke was glaring at Yev. 

“Why is he here?” Luke said. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Luke shot out. 

“Let him go.” Luke said. 

“Do you hear it now?” Ian said. 

“Ya but he’s just pissed.” He said. “He’ll be fine.” 

“Jesus Christ Mick.” Ian said shaking his head and pacing away. 

Mickey felt the anger boil up, he shoved himself up shifting Yev to his side. 

“What do you know about it huh? “ He said. “You’re not fucking here are you?” 

“Oh fuck you.” Ian said whipping around and glaring at him. 

“Ya fuck me.“ He said nodding “I am fucked, I’m fucked up and alone and where the fuck are you?” 

Mickey watched Ian’s eyes break and fill with tears. 

“Shit.” He said and started toward him, Ian closed his eyes and turned his head away. 

“I’m sorry.” He said lifting his hand to his face. 

Ian lowered his forehead to his and wrapped his hand around his neck. 

Ian opened his eyes, Mickey saw his eyes spill over and slid his thumb over his cheek wiping away his tears. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

Mickey lowered his arm and felt Ian’s hand come to his, their fingers wove together and he squeezed Ian’s hand. 

Ian’s eyes cleared but he felt the worry in Ian’s heart.  
.  
“He’s not OK Mickey.” Ian said. 

“Ickey.” Yev said and put his hand on his face. Mickey smiled down at Yev and looked over at the table. 

Luke was gone.

Mickey’s eyes flew open, the living room was dark and his heart was pounding against his chest. He bolted up and felt around for his phone on the table, he grabbed it and squinted at the blinding light of the phone. 

10:42 

He rushed through the dark house to Luke’s room and flipped on the light, the bed was empty. 

“Fuck” He said. “What the fuck?” 

‘Call Big.” He remembered. 

He pushed his fingers over the phone and walked back into the kitchen listening to it ring. 

“Hey?” Frick said. 

“Have you talked to Luke?” He said in a rush. 

“No, why?” Frick said. 

“I don’t know.” He said. 

“Are you OK?” Frick asked. 

“No.” He said. “I’m not fucking OK.” 

“What’s going on?” Frick said. 

“Something’s wrong with Luke.” He said. 

“What?” 

“I don’t fucking know.” He said. “He’s not acting like Luke.” 

““Is it the concussion?" Frick shot out. "Is it worse?”

“It’s not that man.” He said. “It’s Yev.”

“Yev?” Frick said. “As in your son Yev?

“Ya.” He said. “Yev is here.”

There was silence on the phone and Mickey knew Sutter was putting it together. 

“Yev found Luke.” Frick breathed out. 

“Ya.” He said. 

““It was him.” Frick hissed

Mickey didn’t answer him. 

“Shit.” Frick spat out. 

“What?” He shot out. 

Mickey heard Frick let out a long breath. “Luke lied to the police.” Frick said. 

“How do you know?” He asked. 

“The police report.” Frick said. “Jake could see them from their building and Luke said he didn’t see any of them.” 

“What the fuck are you…?” Mickey started and it hit him like a bullet. 

“I didn’t know.” Frick said. 

“Jesus Christ.” He breathed out bracing his arm on the counter. 

Mickey felt the pain as it all came to him. 

“Do you still have the tracker on Luke’s phone?” He asked taking in a deep breath. 

“Yes.” Frick said. 

“Where is he?” He hissed.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke sat in the darkness of the empty apartment, he had watched the sun go down on the dirty walls. He had walked and walked and found himself here, in the place he had come when things were bad before Ian and Mickey. It was all he had then, this broken empty place and a pair of shorts. 

The memory of Yev’s eyes breaking came back to him.

‘How could I do that?’ He thought. 

But that wasn’t the worst of it, Yev’s voice whirled in his mind. 

‘O..K.’ Yev had shuddered out. His tone was full of desperation and regret and something else that rang through his heart. Yev was a lost soul, a broken kid, he had heard it and ignored it, he had pushed and pushed until he pushed Yev right out the door. 

Luke shoved his head back and slammed it into the wall hissing out a breath. His eyes stung and he pushed at his eyes with his fingers and blinked his eyes open. 

Luke heard footsteps and his gut clenched, he saw the chair he had braced on the door slide back on the broken linoleum and Mickey come through the door. Mickey shoved the door closed with one hand and walked through the kitchen. 

‘HEY.” Mickey said. 

Luke looked up at his twisted up face and heard the anger in his voice. 

“You wanna tell me what the fuck’s going on.” Mickey shot out waving a hand up. “Why the fuck are you HERE?” 

Luke leaned his head on the wall and closed his eyes. 

“Is he OK?” He asked. “Do you know where he is?” 

“Ya.” Mickey said. “I know where he is.”

Luke let out a long sigh of relief and opened his eyes, he saw Mickey in the street lights from outside the little window. 

“You knew it was him.” Mickey said. “The whole fucking time.”

Luke didn’t answer him, Mickey paced away pushing a hand over his face. 

“Jesus Luke.” Mickey hissed. 

Luke stared at the wall across the room in the dim light and felt his heart twisting in his chest.

Mickey walked into his line of sight and leaned back against the opposite wall. 

“You saw him.” Mickey said. 

Luke nodded his head down.

Mickey lifted a hand to his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes, Mickey lowered his head and pushed one into his mouth, he flicked the lighter and the room lit up, Luke watched his face as it twisted up. 

“And you decided he had to go.” Mickey said. 

“Not at first.” He said. 

Mickey shook his head and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. 

“Bullshit.” Mickey barked. “You knew and you weren’t going to tell me.”

“I didn’t know what I was going to do and then he showed up at the house.” He said pushing his hands through his hair and clenched his teeth. 

“He has a name.” Mickey said. 

Luke pushed his hands forward and stared up at Mickey. 

“I know he has a name.” He said.

“Really?! Cuz I’ve never heard you say it.” Mickey said shaking his head. 

“I couldn’t…” Luke started and felt the tears in his eyes.

“Couldn’t what? Mickey asked. “See that he’s a fucked up kid, that he’s just like you were?!”

Yev was like he was and he had seen it today, he had ignored the tones in his voice, he had ignored the way he looked at Mickey, he had focused on one thing and it was the only thing that mattered. 

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m so sorry.” 

Mickey pushed himself off the wall and walked over to him, Luke stared at his boots as he sat in front of him. Mickey reached in his pocket and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Luke felt his lips turn up into a smile. 

“You came prepared.” He said.

Mickey smiled twisting off the cap and held it out to him. 

Luke sighed and took it, he lifted it and squeezed his eyes tight tasting the thick whiskey, he lowered it and pushed a hand over his mouth. 

“Blechk.” He said with a grimace. 

Mickey laughed quietly. Luke handed the bottle back to him. 

“Is this why you sent Lou home?” Mickey asked.

“I didn’t want her to get caught up in…” He waved a hand out. 

“You gotta stop doing that man.” Mickey said. 

Luke nodded. 

“Yev likes math.” He said quietly.

“Ya I know.” Mickey said and took a drink.

“No.” Luke said with a smile. “He REALLY likes math.” 

Mickey smiled wider and nodded his chin up. “How’d you know?” Mickey asked. 

“His notebooks.” He said. “They’re full of equations.” 

Mickey took another drink smiling. 

“Like serious math.” He said smiling. 

“Huh.” Mickey said and handed him the bottle. 

Luke looked down at the bottle and took a long breath. 

“I thought I was seeing things when I saw him.” He said. 

“I bet.” Mickey said. 

“Then he spoke.” He said. 

He took a quick drink and held the bottle out to Mickey. 

“You could have told me man.” Mickey said taking the bottle. 

Luke shook his head slowly. 

“Why?” Mickey asked in a low voice. 

“Why?” He said scowling. “Tell YOU he knew who I was and that’s why he jumped me?! Tell you your son called me a faggot! Tell you he was high as a fucking kite and pulled a knife on me?!”

Mickey let out a sharp breath. 

“I thought you’d never have to know.” He said.

“You thought I couldn’t handle it.” Mickey said.

“No, that’s not..” He said. “I didn’t want him to hurt you!” 

Mickey’s head fell to his shoulder and he put the bottle aside. Mickey pushed his arms back and shoved himself up to his feet, Luke watched him pace away and come back with a hand over his mouth. 

“That’s not what this is about.” Mickey said.

Luke looked away and raised his knees in front of him. 

“Luke.” Mickey said in a clear calm tone. 

Luke looked up at Mickey. 

“I’m not going to lose it again.” Mickey said in a firm voice. 

Luke shook his head and looked away. 

“I’m not.” Mickey said. 

“You don’t know that.” He said. 

“Yes I do.” Mickey said. 

“You don’t!!” Luke hissed pushing himself up off of the floor. “I was there! I saw you fall apart after Ian died! I saw what it did to you! Do you think I was going to let that happen again? “

“I’m..” Mickey said holding a hand up. 

“NO!” He shot out. “Don’t tell me you’re alright! Don’t say it because you’re not! I know you’re not!”

Luke took a step back and closed his eyes pushing his hands through his hair. 

“I couldn’t let it happen again.” He said and held his head. 

Luke felt the wave of despair flow through him and squeezed his eyes together and dropped his arms, he let himself fall back against the wall and slowly opened his eyes. 

Mickey was standing very still in the middle of the room. Luke crossed his arms and looked away from him. 

Mickey took a slow breath. “You’re right.” Mickey said. 

Luke heard the honestly in his voice and looked back at him. 

“I’ll never be alright without him.” Mickey said quietly. “Some days it’s so bad I can’t breathe.” 

Luke felt his eyes fill with tears and blinked them away. 

“But you…” Mickey took a long breath. “I have you and Ian….” Mickey trailed off. 

“I never thought I’d get the chance to be a father after going to prison and Ian gave me that.” Mickey said with a soft smile. 

Luke let the tears fall and Mickey took a step toward him. 

“Ian gave me everything.” Mickey said. “My whole life is Ian and it always will be. “

“He’s here.” Mickey said holding his hand out to his chest. “I see him every time I look at you.”

Luke looked down at the floor between them blinking his tears away.

“Hey.” Mickey said and pushed a hand into his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. “I’m the parent.” Mickey said with a quick smile. 

Luke snorted out a watery laugh and pushed a hand under his nose. 

“Sometimes.” Luke said. 

Mickey’s smile widened. “Hey man, who taught you how to drive?” 

“Only cuz you were drunk at the time.” He said. 

“Ya OK?!” Mickey said with a smirk. “I taught you how to shave and I wasn’t drunk then.”

“Ya you kinda were.” Luke said and sniffed. 

Mickey smiled at him and he felt his heart drop, he had those memories and Yev had only wanted what he had, a father. 

“I fucked up.” Luke said.

“Alright.” Mickey said. “Tell me what happened.” 

“He came to the house and I heard…” He stopped. 

Luke looked at Mickey and took a deep breath. 

“I heard something in your voice when you came into my room.” He said. “I heard it before…when I was a kid.”

“What?” Mickey asked. “When?” 

“In the office, the day I smashed the walls.” He said. 

Luke watched his face fall. “That has nothing to do with him.” Mickey said quickly. 

“I didn’t know.” He said. “I heard it and just..” Luke shoved himself from the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Svetlana came to the house.” He said. 

“What?” Mickey hissed out. 

Luke turned around and saw Mickey’s face twisted with anger. 

“She wanted money.” He said. 

Mickey hissed and paced away. 

“And you gave it to her?!” Mickey asked swinging around. 

“Some.” He said with a shrug. 

Mickey turned his head at him. 

“It was just a hundred…” He said.

“THOUSAND!” Mickey barked. 

“..dollars.” He said. 

Mickey stopped and his head fell to his shoulder. 

Luke smiled brightly. 

“Nice.” Mickey said nodding with a big smile. 

“She’s nasty.” He said. 

“Oh ya.” Mickey said and leaned against the wall bracing his foot behind him. 

“I made a crack about her.” Luke said. 

“What crack?” Mickey said with a quick smile. 

“I said I didn’t know what you saw in her.” Luke said quietly. 

Mickey smirked and turned his head. “Ya well she does have tits.” Mickey said. 

“He lost it.” Luke said. 

“Yev did?!” Mickey said pushing away from the wall. 

“Ya.” He said nodding. 

Luke took a step back and closed his eyes. 

“He knows.” Luke said quietly. 

“Knows what?” Mickey asked. 

“He knows what..” Luke took a deep breath opening his eyes. “He knows what your father did.” 

 

Mickey heard the words and his breath stopped, his mind froze. 

“No.” He breathed out. “No.” He said again pushing a hand across his body. 

He turned away to the wall and felt his veins burn with rage. He shook his head violently his fist hit the wall as the pain shot through him. 

Mickey felt the air suck into his lungs and felt them burn. 

“Fuck.” He hissed out. 

Mickey felt the sting of tears and closed his eyes. 

“Fuuuck.” He said quietly and pushed his hand over his eyes. 

“She told him.” He said. Mickey snaked his arm out and punched the wall, the old plaster crumbled around his hand. 

“That fucking bitch.” He said with a shaky voice. 

Mickey held his eyes and bent over bracing on the wall. The furious beat of his heart took his breath away, pain and rage and shame tore through him. Yev’s baby face came to him, he felt his heart twist and crack. Mickey felt the tears on his hand and pushed his hand over his face and saw the dirty wall. 

“Hey.” Luke said. 

Mickey took in a breath and lifted his hand out behind him. 

“He told you.” He said. It wasn't a question, because he knew the answer.

“Ya.” Luke said quietly. 

Mickey turned his head and pushed himself up straight, he clenched his fist and felt the sting of pain. He whipped around fast and walked quickly through the little room into the kitchen. 

“Let’s go.” He growled out. 

Mickey pulled opened the door with no doorknob on the broken hinges and walked down the abandoned halls of the building Luke had hidden his violin when he was a kid. Luke caught up to him and they walked down the stairs and to the truck, Mickey pulled open the door and shoved himself in, he turned the key with a snarl. Luke got in the truck and he pulled the truck into gear and held out his hand, Luke handed him the whiskey as he hit the gas and the truck shot down the empty street. 

 

Mickey turned the wheel hard and Luke was thrown into the door. Mickey was furious, he had seen him angry before but this was like full out he’s gonna kill somebody and end up in jail Mickey pissed. 

“Ahhh, maybe I should drive.” Luke said. 

Mickey took a swig of whiskey and shot him a dirty look. 

“OK.” Luke said. “You’re fine.” He said waving a hand. 

“Um hm.” Mickey said and held out the whiskey to him. 

Luke took it and smiled brightly. 

“Are we going to kill a bitch?” Luke asked putting the bottle in his lap. 

Mickey smiled hard. “Yev first then kill a bitch.” Mickey said. 

“Makes sense.” He said. 

“And you’re going to drag his ass out of there.” Mickey said pointing a finger at him. 

“Me?” He said. “Why me? And where are we going?”

“You, yes you!” Mickey said. “Because YOU fucked up are YOU’RE going to fucking fix it.”

Luke crossed his arms with a pout. 

Mickey braked hard and Luke looked over at the house. 

“Oh come on!!” He said. 

“Go.” Mickey said pointing at the house. 

Luke sighed. “Fine.” He said picking up the bottle and throwing it on the seat, he pulled on the door handle and dropped out of the truck.

“But if they offer me any drugs I’m taking them and you have to listen to me quote Shakespeare allll night.” He said and slammed the door. 

Luke shoved his hands in his pockets and grumbled walking up the steps. 

“Fucking, fuck fuck fuck.“ He said marching up the steps. 

He knocked on the door and waited, he looked over his shoulder and he saw Mickey’s cigarette wave back and forth. 

“Oh ya ha!” He said and turned back around folding his arms over his chest, he let his head fall to his shoulder and rolled his eyes. 

Luke pounded his fist on the door. 

“What?” He heard. 

That was ‘come in’ in Milkovich speak. 

He turned the knob and opened the door, there were three guys who were ‘cousins’ on the couch and thick smoke hung in the air.

‘That ain’t cigarette smoke.’ He thought as he walked into the living room. 

“Hey.” He said. 

“Hey.” One of them said. 

“Yev here?” He asked. 

“Who?” One said. 

“Mick.” Another said. 

“Mickey” The other said. 

“Nah Mick.”

“Isn’t he gay?” One said. 

“Nah man that’s Mickey.” Another said. 

“Oh. Then who’s Mick?” Another said. 

“The kid.” 

“Who’s kid?

“Mickey’s kid.”

“Oh.”

“Who?” Another said. 

“Ahhh the joys of marijuana.” He said with a smile. 

One looked up at him and nodded solemnly. 

“OK.” He said. “I’m just gonna goo…umm..look.” He said.

“Alright man.” One said. 

“What’s he lookin’ for?’ 

“I don’t know.” He heard. 

He shook his head and looked into the first bedroom, someone not Yev was on top of another someone not Yev.

Luke reached in and grabbed the doorknob.

“You may want some privacy, just sayin’” He said pulling the door closed. 

He walked up to the next bedroom and saw no one, he looked around the room. It was Mickey and Ian’s old bedroom. Yev had lived here too, he had never thought of that before. 

“I’m such a jerk.” He thought and sighed. 

He turned to the last bedroom, the door was closed. He took a breath and tapped his knuckle on the door, he focused his hearing and heard nothing. 

“Mick.” He called out. “It’s Luke.” 

He waited. He looked down at the doorknob twisting his mouth up.

“I’m coming in.” He said and opened the door slowly, the room was dark but from the light from the hallway he saw Yev lying on the bed with his back to the door. 

“Hey.” He whispered. 

Yev didn’t move, he walked into the room and around the bed, he leaned over and shook Yev's shoulder. 

“Hey.” He said. 

Yev didn’t wake up, Luke heard his very slow breathes. 

“Yev.” He said firmly shaking him hard, Luke pushed him onto his back.

“Mick.” He yelled and smacked his face, his eyes didn't open. 

Luke leaned over and pulled on his arm and stood up with Yev over his shoulder, he moved fast through the door and down the hall. 

“What did he take?” He snapped out to the three stooges on the couch. 

“Like everything.” He heard. 

“Fuck.” He hissed and walked to the door. 

Luke snarled and pulled open the door, he walked out and saw the truck door open and Mickey jump down from the truck, he stepped down carefully as Mickey ran through the fence and up the steps. 

“What the fuck?” Mickey said. 

“I got him.” He said and stepped down until he hit the walkway, he adjusted Yev on his shoulder and walked around the truck, Mickey got in the driver’s side and opened the passenger side door. Luke leaned over and Yev slid into the truck, Mickey caught him and pulled him in. 

“What’s he on?” Mickey shot out with fear in his voice.

“Everything.” He said and pulled himself up into the truck. 

 

Mickey carried Yev into the house and Luke closed the door behind them. Luke followed him through the house into the bathroom, he gently lowered Yev into the tub and stood up to take off his coat, he threw it on the counter and pulled his sleeves up. 

Luke leaned over and pulled on Yev’s shoelaces, Mickey leaned over with a long breath and pulled Yev's shirt up, he held his arm up and pulled his arm through the hole. Mickey looked at his face and felt his heart ache. Yev had taken on his past, the part of his past that he had torn himself apart over, he had only been brought back because of Ian and Yev had taken it all on alone. 

Mickey reached down and lifted Yev's head and pulled his shirt over his head and gently lowered his head back to the tub holding his face. 

“He’s OK.” Luke said. 

Mickey hissed his breath in and out and nodded his head down. 

They undressed him down to his shorts, Mickey reached over and turned on the cold water, it hit Yev right in the face, his eyes flew open and Mickey smiled crossing his arms.

Yev turned his head and opened his mouth.

“Don’t talk, you’ll drown.” He said. 

Water poured down Yev's face, he blew out air and lifted a hand to his head. 

Mickey turned off the water pulled him out by and arm. Yev stood up on shaky legs. Luke wrapped a towel around his shoulder, Yev’s eyes were half closed and glazed.

“Step out.” He said. 

Yev lifted a foot and it slid down the side of the tub. 

“Luke.” He said. 

Luke lifted Yev’s hand and pulled it around his shoulder.

Yev lifted his foot again and Luke lifted his leg out and they pulled him out of the tub. 

“Hey.” Mickey said brightly pushing the towel over his hair. 

Yev grunted. 

Luke held Yev up and Mickey pushed the towel over his face. 

“Man.” Luke said and pushed his arms around Yev’s chest. 

“You got him?” He asked. 

“Ya.” Luke said. “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.” 

Mickey chuckled. 

Luke smiled holding Yev up on his feet. 

 

Yev sat on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, they had dressed him in Mickey’s sweatpants and t-shirt. Mickey sat in the chair and watched him, his eyes were half closed and still glassy. 

“Drink” He said. 

Yev’s glassy eyes blinked at him. 

“Coffee.” He said for the tenth time. 

Yev looked down at the mug and drank. 

He had told Luke to go to bed an hour ago, Yev hadn’t done anything but drink and blink for almost two hours. He didn’t know what Yev had taken but whatever it was he had taken shit loads of it. 

Yev lowered the mug. “That’s not very good.” Yev said. 

“It’s not.” He said with a smile. 

“No.” Yev said and looked at him.

Mickey stood up and walked over to him. 

“Come on man.” He said taking the mug from his hand. “Time for bed.” Mickey put the mug on the table and held his hand out to Yev. 

Yev stood up slowly and swayed, he held his arm to keep him on his feet and Yev looked at him with naked emotions flashing in his eyes. Mickey felt his heart ache and pulled him in holding him close, he felt Yev’s arms come up around his back and hold onto him hard. 

Mickey let out a slow breath and held him for a long minute. 

Mickey patted his head and pulled him with him as he stepped back, he put his arm around him and guided him down the hall into his bedroom. He walked him to the bed and pulled down the blankets, Yev crawled into the bed and he pulled the covers up around his shoulders. 

Mickey felt his heart ease and ran his hand over Yev’s head watching eyes close. 

Mickey stepped back and out of the room quietly, he looked into Luke’s room and smiled, Luke was sprawled out over his bed with his arms out snoring. 

Mickey walked down the hall into the living room, he picked up the blanket that had dropped from Yev’s shoulder and pulled it over him as he closed his eyes and stretched out on the couch. 

His exhausted mind slowed down and his body sank into the couch.

‘They’re both here.’ He thought and saw Ian's smile.

 

He saw bright covered blocks and leaned over, he picked one up and shoved it in his mouth biting down. His mouth felt better and he bit down again, he gnawed on the block and saw big legs walk over to him. 

“That taste good?” 

He looked up. 

‘Yay IAN!!!’ He thought kicking his feet and smiling. 

‘Wanna try it?’ He thought and threw the block. 

Ian laughed and sat down with his legs crossed in front of him. 

“Thank you.” Ian said and picked up the block. 

He clapped his hands together smiling. 

“I’m not gonna chew on it though.” Ian said. 

‘Oh.’ He thought. “What’s the point of it then?’ He wondered. 

Ian held the block and smiled down at him. “You know what this is?” Ian asked.

‘YES!’ He said but all that came out was a gurgle. 

“This is a number.’ Ian said. 

‘No it’s not, it’s a chewy thing!” He thought smiling, Ian was teasing him. 

“This is a one.” Ian said holding the block. 

Yev looked at the block and saw a line inside the block. 

“Can you say one?” Ian asked smiling. 

Yev smiled and reached over for the block, his hands landed on it and Ian let it go. 

‘One.’ He thought and shoved it in his mouth. 

Ian tilted his head. “You eat that one. HA.” Ian said with a smile.

Yev gurgled out a laugh and Ian picked up another block.

“This is a two.” Ian said. 

‘Two.” He thought, he saw the curve and line. 

“This is a tough one.” Ian said and picked up another block. 

He saw the squiggles. ‘Ya that is tough.’ He thought. 

“It’s a three.” Ian said. 

“Hm. Tough three, got it.” He thought and bit down on the block, it slipped out of his hand and fell into his lap, he gurgled out a laugh and clapped his hands. 

Ian smiled at him. “You’re so sweet.” Ian said. 

Yev pushed his hand over the block and looked down at his toes, he reached out and pulled on them. 

“Four.” Ian said. 

Yev looked up and saw a block with a bunch of lines that zigzagged. 

“This ones important.” Ian said. 

“Right.” He thought. “Important four.”

“Do you know what that means?” Ian asked with a smile. 

He gurgled and leaned over and smacked his hand on Ian’s, Yev smiled and looked up at him. 

“Aw man.” Ian said. Yev heard him sniff. 

Yev smiled and pulled his hand up to his mouth. 

“Oh you just want to chew on me.” Ian said. 

‘Yes!’ He thought and pulled Ian’s hand to his mouth. 

“Here.” Ian said and picked up a block. Yev giggled letting go of Ian's hand and picked up the block.

“Ta.” He said. 

“YEAH!” Ian said with a bright smile. “That’s a two!” 

Yev shoved it in his smiling mouth. 

“Wow.” Ian said. 

Yev chewed on the block. 

“Numbers are special.” Ian said lining up the blocks. 

Yev watched his hands. 

“You can add them and subtract them.” Ian said. “Adding is taking one number and another and putting them together.”

‘Huh?’ He thought dropping the block and it landed in his lap. 

Ian laughed. 

“One.” Ian said with his hand on the block. “It’s all by itself.”

Ian moved his hand to his lap. “Two.” Ian said picking up the block in his lap. 

“Two comes after one.” Ian said and put the two next to the one. 

“Three.” Ian said putting his hand on the three.

“Four.” Ian said putting his hand on the block. 

Yev saw them all lined up and it clicked in his head, he waved his hands up and down and giggled. 

Ian clapped his hands together. “Alright.” Ian said. “You got it.”

“Now watch this.” Ian said. 

“You take a one and add it with the two and you get three.” Ian said touching each block. 

‘This is complicated.’ He thought and sighed. 

“One and two together makes three.” Ian said.

‘Together.’ He thought. 

“Together.” Ian said. 

Yev looked up at him, Ian smiled down at him and picked up the three. 

“This one is tough.” Ian said and put it down on the floor.

“This one is all by itself.” Ian said picking up the one.

Yev felt the sadness of the one. 

“One plus two equals three.” Ian said.

Yev looked at Ian’s hands moving on the blocks. 

“One plus three equals four.” Ian said. 

“You watching?” Ian said. 

‘Yes.’ He gurgled out. 

“OK here’s the big test.” Ian said. 

“Two plus one equals three.” Ian said. 

“Three plus one equals four.” Ian said quietly. 

“Now here’s the hard part.” Ian said picking up a block. “You take one away.” 

‘Oh no why would you do that?’ He thought. ‘It’ll be lonely.’

“Aww don’t cry.” Ian said softly and reached out for his face, Yev felt his big fingers over his face. 

“It’s OK.” Ian said. “You know why?”

Yev sniffed. 

“Because it has the other numbers and it won’t ever be lonely.” Ian said. 

Ian smiled at him and he didn't feel sad anymore. 

Ian put the two block in his hands. “You hold onto this one.” Ian said. 

‘OK!’ He thought and held onto the block. 

Yev watched him push the three and the one together and move the four over to it. 

“Three plus one equals four.” Ian said. “It’s like magic.” 

‘Magic!” he thought. 

“This is the most important part.” Ian said. 

Ian put his hand between the three and the one separating them. 

“If you separate them it’s a divide.” Ian said. 

‘Oh no.’ He thought. “They’re not together anymore.” 

“But it’s alright.” Ian said quietly “Because you can always add them back up.” Ian said lifting his hand. 

‘Whew.’ He thought. 

Ian lowered one hand over the one and the three and put his the other hand on the four. 

“Four plus four.” Ian said. 

Yev thought hard. 

Ian picked up a block beside him and held it up, Yev saw the two loops. 

“Four is important.” Ian said “Because it means this.” 

Ian turned the block. 

Yev opened his eyes. He could feel the block in his hand and saw Ian’s face smiling down at him. The dream floated away and he clenched his hand into a fist, there was no block in his hand. 

It was only a dream.


	10. Chapter 10

Luke pulled out the potatoes and dumped the bag into the sink, he turned on the water and sprayed water over them turning the hose right and left. He hummed under his breath and picked up the vegetable peeler and looked down at his hand. 

‘Hm.’ He thought. 

He had figured out how to chop with one hand but this was going to be a bit tricky. He leaned over the counter inspecting the potato going over in his mind how to peel it with one hand. 

“Nope.” He said to himself. 

He put it back in the sink and lifted a towel.

‘All the nutrients are in the peels anyway.” He said to himself and pulled one out of the sink and wiped it off on the towel. 

‘Good enough.’ He thought and put a potato on the chopping block, he pushed in the pegs of the wood cutter he had found in the shed and washed in boiling hot water. He lifted the knife with a smile.

“WAHHHA” He shot out and chopped like a samurai. 

“HA” He said and picked up the potato and threw it in the pot simmering on the stove. 

It was after three and Yev was still sleeping, Luke had woken up and let out a sigh of relief when he saw Yev was still there. He was standing guard over him for the time being, he had one goal for today. 

“Don’t let him fucking leave.” Mickey had said on his way out the door, Luke had saluted Mickey with his good hand, Mickey had smiled and flipped him off. 

It was good to be back to normal. They had talked for what felt like the first time in ages, Luke had been so wrapped up in protecting Mickey he didn’t see how happy Mickey was Yev was here. Mickey told him about when Yev was a baby and how a seventeen year old Ian had taken on a baby and Mickey’s fucked up life. Mickey’s face had lit up talking about living with Ian when they were young and being a little family. 

Mickey told him about Ian getting sick and taking Yev. Luke had heard all of it from Ian but he was younger when Ian had told him about their lives before him and Ian had sugar coated a lot of it. 

The only part Ian had left out was what Mickey’s father did, Ian had only said Mickey’s father had broken them up and forced Mickey to marry Svetlana because she was pregnant. Mickey didn’t sugar coat it, he told him straight out what happened. 

Luke had sat stunned when he finished telling him. 

“I’m telling you this because I need you to understand.” Mickey said quietly. 

Luke reached out and picked up the cigarettes on the table. He took a deep breath and pulled one out, he lit it and took a long drag. 

“It tore me up for a long time and I’m not letting Yev go through that.” Mickey said. “Not alone.” 

Luke nodded letting out the smoke. 

“Luke look at me.” Mickey said. 

Luke looked up and saw Mickey’s eyes stared into his. 

“I got over this a long time ago.” Mickey said in a firm voice. 

“You did?! Jesus.” He hissed out and took another drag of the cigarette. 

“Ya.” Mickey said and took a drag of his own cigarette. Luke watched Mickey work his jaw out and pick up his coffee mug. 

“Did you kill him?” Luke asked. 

“Nah.” Mickey said with a bright smile. “I had a wedding I had to get to.” 

“Yours?” He asked. 

“Ya. Ian would have been pissed if I went to jail.” Mickey tilted his head. "Again."

"Yeah!" He said. 

“That was a good day.” Mickey said with a smile. 

Luke sat back and let it all sink in. Luke didn’t really understand until then that Mickey had had one true good thing in his life and it was Ian. Mickey’s words came back to him, ‘Ian gave me everything.’ 

Ian had given Mickey a light in the dark, they had each other and that had been the start of it all. Yev was a part of that and it didn’t matter how he came to be or what he had done, he was family and Luke hoped they could show Yev family before he fell away from them and was swallowed up by the dark. 

Luke heard a car stop and picked up the wood spoon with his eyes on the door, he listened to the fast feet come to the door. 

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. 

‘Gee, I wonder who that is?’ He thought lifting up the wooden spoon and sipping the hot broth. 

‘More salt.’ He thought. 

‘BOOM, BOOM.’

Luke smiled and added a pinch more salt, he stirred the salt in and walked casually through the kitchen and across the living room. 

“Open door you stupid shit!” He heard. 

‘Well that’s not very nice.’ He thought unlocking the door, he pulled open the door and saw her furious face. 

“Hello!” Luke said with a bright smile. 

She pushed past him. 

“Come in!” He said waving a hand up.

“You gave me nothing.” She spat out. 

“Nooo.” He said. “I gave you what you were worth.” 

Svetlana hissed and slithered up to him. 

“You think you’re smart.” She hissed. 

“Oh I know I am.” He said. 

She smiled a cold smile and nodded her head up. 

“You know what he did?” She hissed out. “He forced me! He raped me!” 

Luke felt the rage and disgust push up in him. 

“What did you just say?” He snarled out. 

Luke saw her eyes change from hard to scared.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?” He barked out taking a step. 

Luke’s vision went red and he saw her take a step back. 

Luke heard heavy footsteps and turned his head, Yev was walking into the living room with a gun up and on Svetlana. Luke saw his raging eyes and heard his shuddering breathes. Yev stopped and tightened his hand around the gun. 

Luke stepped back with his eyes on Svetlana. 

“You want him? “Svetlana said casually. “Two hundred thousand.”

Luke scoffed walking backwards, he stopped next to Yev and smiled at her. 

“I don’t think you’re in much of a position to demand anything here.” Luke said. 

“You screw me!” She said. 

“No thank you.” Luke said. 

“You won’t shoot me.” She said glaring at Yev. 

Yev pulled back the trigger on the gun. 

Luke heard Yev’s heavy breathing and turned his eyes away from Svetlana to look at Yev. 

“Remember what Mickey said.” He said. 

Yev eyes flickered. 

“Keep the bloodshed to a minimum.” Luke said with a smile 

Yev’s eyes flashed and Luke let out the breath he was holding. 

“I can see how it would be worth it.” Luke said crossing his arms and waving a hand out. “But we’d have to redo the floors, the blood would ruin the varnish.” 

Luke lifted a hand to his face and drummed his fingers over his chin looking over the walls. 

“Although these walls could use a fresh coat of paint.” Luke said. 

“Tarp?” He asked Yev with a tilt of his head. 

Luke heard Yev let out a little laugh. 

“You crazy!” She spat out.

“Oh ya.” Luke said. “I’m crazy as a motherfucker.” Luke said with a hard smile. 

Svetlana huffed out a breath and stormed to the door, she turned back and sneered with a smile. 

“Little fucking faggot.” She sneered glaring at Yev. 

“Fuck.” He hissed and pushed Yev’s arm as the gun went off and whipped his head to the door, Svetlana was rushing to her car. 

Luke looked where the bullet landed, there was a hole in the wall over the couch. 

“Hollly shit.” He said in a rush holding his bandaged hand to his chest. 

Yev was watching Svetlana rush away with the gun pointed out the door, his face was a mix of hate and hurt. 

Luke let out slow breaths and heard her slam her car door closed and the tires screech as she drove away. 

“She’s gone.” He said carefully. 

Yev kept the gun on the door. 

“Ye..” He started. “Mick.” 

Yev’s eyes shifted and landed on him. 

“Ahhh..No guns no weapons?!” He said in a high voice.

Yev’s eyes flickered, Luke smiled at him brightly. Yev's lips turned up in a smile and he lifted the gun up. 

“I thought there were no bullets.” Yev said. 

“There was in that one.” He said widening his eyes and nodding his head. 

Luke heard a car pull up. 

“Oh shit.” He shot out. “Give me the gun.” 

Luke heard the slam of a door. 

Yev’s eyes widened and he reached out for the gun, Yev's face twisted up. 

“It’s Mi..” Luke started but it was too late. 

“Oh Whatthefuck!?” Mickey called out from the doorway. 

“..key!” He finished. 

Mickey walked in and slammed the door. 

“Hi.” Luke said with a bright smile. “We’re just…ahhh….” 

“You wanna NOT point my own fucking gun at me?” Mickey said dropping Yev’s bag. 

Yev and Luke both lowered the gun. 

Mickey lifted his hands looking back and forth between them. 

“I was gone for ten fucking minutes!” Mickey hissed out pulling off his coat.

“It wasn’t..” Luke started. 

Mickey’s eyes stopped him, they were deadly. 

“Ten motherfuckinggodammminutes and you can’t not fucking kill each other in that fucking time?” Mickey said and waved his arms. 

“It wa..” Luke started.

“Don’t fucking talk!” Mickey shot out. “Give me that.” Mickey held his hand out to Yev. 

Yev put the gun in his hand and Mickey pulled out the clip and looked down at it, his eyes came up and he looked around the room. 

Luke opened his mouth and looked away when he saw Mickey raise a hand to the hole in the wall.

“Fuck!” Mickey said. 

“It was my fault.” Yev said. Luke looked down at him and his eyes were wide and he was breathing hard. 

“No it wasn’t.” Luke said quietly. 

“It was me.” Yev said. “Luke tried to stop me.” He had never heard Yev say his name before, he heard the regret and the soft edges of his voice. 

Luke closed his eyes and smacked himself internally.

“OK.” Mickey said slowly. “What was he trying to stop you from doing?” 

“Nothing.” Yev said. “I was screwing around and the gun went off.” 

Luke opened his eyes, Yev’s tone was panicked and scared, he didn’t want Mickey to know Svetlana had come to the house, Yev was trying to protect Mickey as much as he was and now Yev was trying to protect him from Mickey. 

Luke smacked himself internally again, really hard this time.

Mickey looked at him and he shook his head. 

“She came back.” He said. 

Mickey’s eyes narrowed. 

“She did huh?” Mickey said. 

“Yaaa.” He said nodding. 

“And you shot her?” Mickey said with a smile. 

“No.” Yev said quickly. “I…I..” Yev started and stopped. 

Luke’s heart ached watching him.

“He thought the gun was empty.” He said. 

Yev’s eyes came to his, he felt his eyes sting as he looked up at him. Yev had surprise and fear in his eyes, he was surprised Luke had stuck up for him and the fear was he wanted to believe he cared but couldn’t trust it.

“Alright.” Mickey said quietly. Luke saw Yev’s eyes flicker away. 

“A little drywall and it’s all good.” He said waving a hand at the wall. 

Mickey’s eyes flashed with laughter. 

“He’s done worse.” Luke said nodding to Mickey. “Trust me.” 

Mickey snorted out a laugh and shoved the gun in the waistband of his jeans. 

“Since you decided to sleep all day how bout some fucking coffee?” Mickey said smiling at Yev. 

Yev looked down at the floor and crossed his arms. 

Mickey nodded slowly and took a long breathe stepping back to the door, he picked up Yev’s bag and held it out as he walked up to Yev. 

Yev took the bag and Mickey let it go. Luke watched Yev turn around and walk through the living room swinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

“He can’t leave.” He said watching Yev walk down the hall. 

Mickey let out a hard breath and crossed his arms. 

Luke saw the pain in his eyes and felt his heart ache, he had to fix this but had no idea how. He thought of what Ian would do, Ian would calmly wait for Yev and talk to him but Ian had a strength and a light that he didn’t have and he wished with all his heart he had a little of that right now. 

‘Come on man think.’ He thought. ‘He can’t be out there alone.’

Luke knew what being alone and scared felt like, he had felt that fear until everything had changed. Memories of Ian and Mickey shifted through his mind, memories of Star Wars and pizza, violins and Metallica, birthday cake and frosting. 

"Frosting." He said with a smile. 

"Frosting." Mickey said tilting his head with a smile.

They had a plan and Luke hoped that a little bit of frosting would go a long way.

 

 

Yev closed the door behind him and dropped his bag, he sat on the bed bracing his arms beside him and squeezed his eyes together, everything just got worse and worse the longer he stayed here. Yev sat for a long few minutes trying to calm down and stood up and pulled off the sweatpants and t-shirt that didn’t belong to him and opened his bag, he pulled out his coat and put it on the bed, he pulled out a shirt without looking at it and shoved it over his head, he pulled it down over his chest and pulled on his jeans moving slowly and taking shallow breathes. 

All he had to do was get out the door and he could forget all of this. He shoved his feet into his boots and tied them, he picked up his coat and zipped up his backpack, there was nothing else to do except leave. Yev turned toward the door and felt the pressure rise up in his chest, he took a slow breath and looked over the pictures above the dresser with the missing mirror. 

Yev walked to the dresser and Ian smiled back at him, he lifted his hand and touched the side of Ian’s face, 

“Spahseeboh.” He said quietly. 

Ian, a man he didn’t remember was the only love he had ever known. He remembered the dream and his heart melted a little, he could think to himself that Ian had taught him math even if it was only a dream. 

Yev took a deep breath and swung his backpack over his shoulder and opened the door, he walked with his head down and his eyes on the floor. 

"Hey." Mickey said.

Yev looked up and Mickey was leaning on the counter with a cigarette in one hand. Yev didn’t know what to say, he had found a father and fucked it up but that’s what he did. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“Oh hey there you are!” Luke said coming around the corner. Yev looked over his shoulder and Luke put something down on a chair.

“I had stuff to get.” Luke said. 

Mickey was walking to the table with a big mug in his hand, Mickey put the mug down in front of a chair and waved a hand at the chair. 

“Sit.” Mickey said. 

“We want to show you something.” Luke said. 

Yev looked back and forth between them, Luke was smiling and when he looked at Mickey he saw his own eyes looking back at him with hurt and something else in his eyes, he knew he had hurt them and knew he should just leave them alone. Yev took two steps back and started to turn around.

“Stop.” Mickey said. “You’re not leaving.”

“Yes I am.” He said quickly. “I don’t belong here.” 

Mickey’s eyes changed. 

“You don’t know me." He shot out. "You can’t and you don’t want to! I fuck things up wherever I go, that’s just who I am.” 

“Mick.” Mickey said holding a hand up. 

“That’s not my name.” He said twisting his head. 

“Yev.” Luke said walking quickly around the table. 

“That’s not my name either.” He hissed out turning around. “I don’t have a name. I’m nobody.” 

He pushed at the pain in his heart walking to the door and had only one thought, ‘Get out the door and it will stop.’ 

Yev pulled on the locks and turned the doorknob, he pulled it and Mickey came up next to him and slammed the door closed. 

“He wanted to name you Ozran.” He heard and whipped his head around, Luke was speaking Russian. He had said what he said in Russian and Luke had understood every word. Yev felt his face go hot and his heart start to pound in his chest. 

“It was his grandfathers name.” Luke said in Russian with his eyes on his. 

“What the fuck?” Mickey said looking back and forth between them. 

“He didn’t understand you and he wouldn’t be angry even if he did.” Luke said taking a step forward. 

Yev felt the pain whip through him, he didn’t believe it for a second, he was a forgotten bad memory and that’s all he was ever going to be. 

“He didn’t want to name me anything.” Yev said in Russian and hissed when he felt his eyes sting. 

“Yes he did.” Luke said. “He told me.”

Yev shook his head hard but felt the pain lessen a little. 

“He lived to over a hundred and his mother said Mickey was just like him.” Luke said. 

“I’m not like him.” He said and his eyes flickered over Mickey, he was watching him with his arm braced on the door. 

“Yes you are.” Luke said. “In every way that matters.”

Yev twisted his mouth up and looked down at the floor, he shifted his weight and tried to push away the feelings that were rising up in him. 

“How do you know Russian?” He asked pushing a hand over his eyes and waving it out. 

“I’m a genius.” Luke said shrugging a shoulder up. 

Yev felt a smile on his face and tried to stop it. 

“And there was a suupeer hot Russian exchange student my junior year.” Luke said.

Yev felt the bubble of laughter and saw Luke’s face light up with a smile. 

"Man she was smokin!’" Luke said with a slow nod. 

Yev laughed before he could stop it. 

Mickey let out a long breath and Yev turned his eyes to him. 

“He loves you man” Luke said. “He doesn’t want you to go.” 

Yev saw the something else in Mickey’s eyes, he looked harder and saw maybe he did feel the way Luke said, maybe that’s what the something else was. 

Yev let his hand fall away from the doorknob, Mickey’s eyes cleared and he smiled at him reaching a hand out to his arm. Yev felt his hand gently close over his shoulder and he let out a long breath. 

“You’re important to us” Luke said quietly. “To all of us.” 

Yev felt the rush of how he felt in the dream wash over him, he turned to Luke tilting his head. 

“What?” Luke said widening his eyes. “What did I say?” Luke babbled out in Russian. 

“To all of us?” Yev said. 

“Ahhhh..Yeees?" Luke said twisting his face up into a grimace. "Did I say that wrong? My Russian isn’t as good as it used to be.” 

Yev saw the the bright colored blocks and Ian's smile, he looked at Mickey and his eyes were staring into his.

‘One.’ He thought. 

‘Two.’ He thought and remembered Ian handing him the two block. ‘You hold on to this one.’ Ian had said. 

‘Three.’ He thought and looked at Luke staring at him with a confused look on his face. 

‘Four is important.’ He heard and a wave of understanding came to him, he was four.

Yev saw the something else in Mickey's eyes and felt what it was, he was important to him and he loved him.

Yev smiled and lifted his hand to Mickey's arm, he felt his fathers arms pull him in and all the hurt was gone, he took a long clear breath wrapping his arms around Mickey and for the first time in his life he didn't feel alone.

 

Luke watched Yev with a nervous heart, he didn’t know what he had said but Yev had smiled a brilliant smile, his whole face had changed and Luke was almost knocked over by the force of it. He watched them hug each other, Mickey held onto Yev hard lifting a hand over his head, Yev smiled closing his eyes. 

“What the fuck did you say?” Mickey said looking over at him. 

Luke shrugged and Mickey let go of Yev but wrapped an arm around his neck and they started walking toward the kitchen, he followed them with a big goofy smile on his face. Yev put his coat on the back of the chair and dropped his bag as he sat down. 

“You know Russian?” Mickey asked with a scowl. 

“Ah Marina.” He said with a sigh as he walked around the table to the refrigerator, he pulled out the carrots and threw them on the counter, he reached in and pulled out two beers and brought them over to the table holding them out to Mickey, he twisted off one cap for him and took the other for himself. 

Yev drank his coffee and looked over the files on the table. 

“This is what we wanted to show you.” He said sitting down. 

Luke reached over to the pile of folders and pulled the top one down, he slid it over the table to Yev. 

“Open it.” He said. 

Yev pushed the mug aside and flipped open the folder and saw a picture of a little boy in shorts mid-step on top of a pile of pictures, it was Yev in the picture

Luke took a drink of his beer and smiled at Mickey. 

Yev looked up at Mickey. “Where’d you get these?” Yev asked. 

“I have a friend, he kept an eye on you.” Mickey said. 

“HA!” He shot out. “He has a friend who’s a Fed.” 

“A Fed?” Yev said widening his eyes. 

Mickey nodded taking a long drag of his smoke. 

“Your friend did this?” Yev asked. 

“Nah.” Luke said. “James is a boss, he had his underlings do it.”

Mickey laughed low in his throat flicking his cigarette in the ashtray. 

Yev looked down at the file and saw the report, Luke saw him reading and his eyebrows furrowed. 

“How did a Fed know ..” Yev started. 

Luke saw Yev’s eyes lift up to Mickey, this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation but there were a few things that Yev needed to know. 

 

Yev looked up at Mickey, a Fed knew that his mother had started running a trafficking ring and did nothing. 

“I asked him to leave your mother alone and he did.” Mickey said. 

Yev looked down at the file and sat back. 

“Your mother was a good mother.” Mickey said. 

Yev glared at him. 

“When you were a baby you were..” Mickey said and huffed. “She took care of you and I was in prison. When I got out and knew you were OK, I left you alone.”

“That’s bullshit!” Luke said. “She didn’t want him around you.” Luke said to him.

“Doesn’t matter.” Mickey said pushing a hand over his mouth. “I knew she’d take of you.” Mickey's eyes flickered to his and dropped to the cigarette in his hand. 

“Or I thought she would.” Mickey said quietly and took a drag of the cigarette. 

Yev understood what they meant, she had taken care of him and she was good to him when he was young and he could see his mother cutting Mickey out of his life out of spite. Every drop of anger he had slipped away.

“You asked your friend to leave my mother alone for me?” He asked. 

“Ya.” Mickey said quietly. "I didn't know what was really going on but I would have taken you out of there in a minute if I knew.” 

“And that’s a fact.” Luke said. 

Yev looked back down at the pictures and picked them up, in the first one he was about five and his arm was wrapped around his stuffed dog. Yev smiled at the picture and flipped over to the next one, he was outside of the house sitting on a blanket with his dog on his lap. Yev flipped to the next one and he was smiling up at his nanny with his hand in hers and his little dog was in his other hand. 

Yev looked up and Luke was pulling another file down from the pile. 

“There’s more.” Luke said sliding another folder across the table. 

Yev looked down and saw himself a little older, he was being pushed in a swing by a nanny. These were when they first went to Russia, he saw himself in the market square being pulled along by the hand. There were shots of him outside the house they lived in. He picked them up and saw a printed report like the last one. Yev looked up at Mickey, he had picked up the pictures he had pushed aside and was flipping through the pictures of him with a smile on his face. 

Yev looked down at the report and it blurred, all the new emotions were swirling around inside him and he felt a little light headed. 

“This is a good one.” Luke said. 

Luke pushed an open folder in front of him, he was about nine in the pictures. Luke reached out and took the pictures from the folder and there was a report under it in Russian, he read the first lines of the report and felt the blush rise up on his neck.

‘I spoke to the subject’s nanny in the park." He read. "The nanny stated Yevgeny was the sweetest child she had ever taken care of, Yevgeny was shy and quiet and loved walks in the park and seeing the ducks on the pond. The nanny was a little concerned that his mother left quite often but Yevgeny was a beautiful sweet child that never gave her a moment’s trouble.' 

Yev felt the blush on his face and didn’t look up, he read on and on about how sweet he was and how well he was doing. Yev turned the page and saw his report card, they were always the same, he got mediocre grades in everything except math, he was always good at math. He read the comments and saw his math teacher had written about his aptitude and suggested he take extra math classes to reach his potential. He remembered that teacher, he was a nice man who had taught him algebra while the other kids were learning times tables. 

Yev looked up and saw Mickey and Luke smiling at him, he realized he had a big smile on his face. 

“That’s just a few.” Luke said. 

Luke pushed over a stack of folders and put them in front of him.

“Are we playing this is your life?” He said with a laugh. 

“Ya kinda.” Luke said with a smile and put his hand down into the seat next to him, Luke lifted his hand up and put his stuffed dog onto the table. 

“Where’d you get this?” He breathed out and picked it up. 

It looked the same as it did when he was little, it had big floppy ears and a smile on his brown and white face, he felt the soft fur and it brought back a flood of memories, talking to him, sleeping with his arm around him, bringing him everywhere he went, teaching him math. 

Yev laughed and held him in both hands stroking his thumbs over his fur. 

“You left him.” Mickey said. 

Yev nodded, he had lost him when they went to Russia. He remembered being on the plane and crying because he couldn’t find his dog, his mother had looked but he wasn’t on the plane. She said she’d get him another but he wanted his dog. She had forgotten about all about it and he had been so sad losing his friend. 

“The Fed watching you saw that you left it, he tried to get it to you but you were already on the plane. “Mickey said. 

Yev smiled at him and saw Mickey’s eyes lit up. 

“I almost couldn’t find him.” Luke said. 

“Where was he?” He asked smiling down at his friend. 

“My closet.” Luke said. “On the shelf.”

“Ya.” Mickey said taking a drag of his cigarette. “Ian tried to give him to you to hang onto but you said you were too old to have a stuffed whatever it is.”

“He’s a dog.” He said defensively. 

Mickey smiled and crushed out his cigarette. 

“Ian put it up there.” Luke said standing up and walked to the counter. 

Yev saw Luke dump the carrots out into the sink while he drank more coffee and tried to adjust to the new knowledge that his father had known exactly where he had been and had always known who he was. 

Yev watched Luke lift a carrot and look down at a metal wood holder on the counter. Luke twisted his mouth up and looked back at the carrot. 

Yev took a breath and stood up, he walked up behind Luke and saw his eyes come to his. Yev held his hand out and Luke lowered the carrot into his hand, he lowered the carrot and chopped it while Luke washed the rest of the carrots. 

“You can cook?” Mickey asked. 

“I can cut.” He said with a smile. 

“Can you though?” Luke asked putting more carrots in front of him. 

“A little.” He said chopping. 

“There’s that soup…ahh..” Mickey waved a hand and furrowed his eyebrows. “You know the soup.” He said to Luke. 

“I know the soup?” Luke said. “I don’t know the soup.” 

Mickey smirked. 

“Ya, it’s Russian with the mush.” Mickey said. 

“Solyanka.” He said. 

“Sol-what-ka?” Luke said. 

“Solyanka.” He said pushing carrots aside with his knife. 

“Can you make that?” Mickey said. 

Yev nodded keeping his eyes down. 

Yev picked up the carrots and put them in the pot, he stirred the carrots into the pot and felt Mickey’s eyes on him as he walked around the table to the chair and sat down wrapping his hands around the coffee mug. 

Luke sat back down and turned an open manila file in front of him, it looked different from the others and he saw Luke’s name at the top, he saw the date beside Luke’s name and sat back.

“Just wait.” Luke said. 

Luke pushed over a framed picture in front of him, he saw Ian and Mickey with a very young Luke sitting between them with big smiles on their faces. 

“OK.” He said. “What am I looking at?” 

Mickey snorted out a laugh and waved his beer at him smiling. 

Yev crossed his arms looking at the picture and saw the script on the lower part of the frame, he squinted and leaned over, he reached out for it and picked it up. their names were in a circle with a date inside of it. 

“Ian found me when I was 13.” Luke said. 

Yev bit the inside of his lip and looked down at Ian’s smiling face. 

“I didn’t know what month it was when I came here.” Luke said. 

Yev felt his heart ache for the little boy in the picture. 

“I didn’t know what day it was until that day.” Luke said pointing at the picture. “January 12th.” 

Yev felt his heart clench and shifted his eyes to the manila folder and read the notes, laceration of left hand, concussion, minor orbital fracture and put the picture down on the table, he looked down at his hands and pulled them away from the picture. 

Mickey put his hand down hard and shoved something in front of him, he looked down at it and saw his name. 

Yevgeny Milkovich.

‘That’s not right.’ He thought and looked up at Mickey. 

“My last name is Milkovich?” He asked in a rush. 

“YA!” Mickey said with a twist of his head. 

“What’d you think it was?” Luke asked. 

“Fisher.” He said pulling the birth certificate closer to him. 

“Fuck no!” Mickey said waving a hand up sputtering. “Kind of a name is that?” Mickey shot out. 

Luke shook his head and scoffed. 

Yev smiled and picked up his birth certificate, he had never seen it before. Mikhailo Milkovich was listed as his father. 

“Mikhailo?” He said. 

“Ya.” Mickey said smiling. 

Luke sat back and crossed his arms with a smug smile on his face. 

“Fisher?!” Mickey shot out. “You’re a fucking Milkovich.” 

Luke laughed and stood up.

“All you gotta do as look at him to know that.” Luke said walking the refrigerator. 

“Ya!” Mickey said and scowled. 

Yev laughed nodding his head around and put his birth certificate down. 

Luke came back to the table and put a plate down in front of him, he saw the lopsided cake with white frosting and felt his heart crack open and his eyes sting. Luke smiled and he looked down at the table, it was all there, the file, the picture and his birth certificate, they all had the same date.

January 12th.

“Happy Birthday.” Mickey said.


	11. Chapter 11

Mickey picked up his beer and smiled around it watching Yev’s face, he blinked when he saw the cake and he looked over the table with wide eyes and looked like they had just given him everything he had ever wanted.

“Milkovich Gallagher tradition.” He said. “Cake for breakfast.” 

“A few days late.” Luke said. 

“You made a cake?” Yev said quietly. 

“Ya.” Mickey said. “You miss a lot when you sleep all day.”

Yev blinked at him and he reached out and put his hand over to his wrist. Yev’s eyes lit up and he saw the smile start on his face and sat back giving his wrist a squeeze before pulling his hand away. 

Luke cut the cake with his good hand and Mickey picked up the stuffed dog from the table. 

“What was his name?” He asked smiling at Yev. 

Yev blushed but smiled at him. “Chewy.” Yev said. 

“Like Star Wars?” Luke said and stopped cutting to look up at Yev. 

“Nah man.” He said with a laugh. “He chewed on his ears.”

Luke’s face fell. “Oh.” Luke said. 

“I’ve never seen Star Wars.” Yev said. 

“WHAT!?!” Luke shot out. 

‘Oh shit.’ He thought. 

“YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS?” Luke called out with the knife frozen in the cake mid cut. 

Mickey rolled his eyes and smacked a hand to his head. 

“No.” Yev said innocently.

“Oh Christ.” He said. 

“You’re watching it!” Luke said.

“Fuck.” He hissed shaking his head. 

“Right now.” Luke said cutting the cake with a whoosh and put cake on the plates. 

“Nooo.” He said and rolled his head over his shoulders and looked up at the ceiling. 

“Why?” He said to the ceiling and shrugged “Why?” 

“Come on.” Luke said to Yev and stood up, he handed Yev a piece of cake and walked into the living room. Mickey rolled his eyes to Yev and he was looking at him with confused eyes. 

Mickey let out a long haggard breath. 

“Go ahead.” He said. Yev smiled and stood up picking up his fork and digging into the cake as he walked away. 

Mickey took a long drink of beer and sank down into his chair closing his eyes. 

‘Why do you do this?’ He thought. ‘Just fuck with me? All the fuckin'time!" 

He saw Ian’s eyebrows go up and his eyes narrow. Mickey felt the rush of love and smiled.

‘You like that though.’ He heard. 

‘Ya I do.’ He thought. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen Star Wars!” Luke said behind him. 

Mickey rolled his eyes open

“Not everyone’s an uber geek.” He called out standing up. 

He turned around to see Luke’s stunned face staring at him.

“What?” He said twisting his face up.

“It’s the experience.” Luke said in a dead serious tone. 

“Hm.” He murmured and walked to the chair and sat down with a huff. 

Mickey looked over and Yev was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed and his plate in his lap. 

Luke backed up to sit next to Yev on the couch. Luke picked up his plate and pointed the remote at the television. 

“Get ready to have your mind blown!” Luke said. 

Mickey rolled his eyes up smiling, he put his beer down and looked away from the television to watch Yev and Luke. He didn’t know what Luke had said to make him stay but Yev had dropped the armor and he had seen clear into his soul. Mickey saw his kid sitting on the couch and not the person he was trying so hard to be, he wasn’t hard like he was, he wasn’t wild like he was. Yev didn’t need to be like him and he was pretty fucking happy he wasn’t. 

He felt the worry leave him as he took a long clear breath. 

Ian had always seen a little bit of Yev in Luke because of his birthday and what that day meant to all of them. Mickey knew Luke and Yev were different from each other, they were like two sides of a coin but they both had Ian’s sweet soul. 

It had all clicked seeing Yev cutting the carrots. Svetlana and Yev had been in Chicago for Ian’s funeral and he didn’t know if that’s why she came or if she came to just fuck with him but they had been here, he vaguely remembered seeing Svetlana but didn’t remember anything about it other than her saying he wouldn’t see Yev and he didn’t blame her he was a fucked up mess at the time. 

The day of Ian’s service he had tasted Witch Soup for the first time in years and had always thought Svetlana had brought it, that she had let go of shit and had had one moment of not being a hosebag bitch whore but now he knew it was Yev who had made the soup and brought it to them and she was always a hosebag bitch whore. 

Mickey laughed to himself and took a drink of his beer. 

“Who’s that guy?” Yev said picking up a piece of cake with his fork. 

“THAT my young misguided brother is Darth Vader.” Luke said. 

“Oh right.” Yev said shoving cake in his mouth. “He’s someone’s father.” Yev said with his mouth full. 

“So much to learn.” Luke said shaking his head. 

Yev smiled with his mouth full of cake. Mickey rolled his eyes and Yev’s eyes sparkled back at him. 

His father’s heart filled with pride for both of his sons, Luke had stepped up and taken responsibility when he realized he had fucked up, he had carried Yev unconscious out of his old house, he had watched over him while he slept, he had gone around the house and brought everything to the table that he thought would convince Yev to stay. 

That morning Mickey had told Luke that the 12th was Yev’s birthday, he had told him that was why Yev had jumped him that day. He knew Luke would understand but some things were hard to forgive and they still didn’t know if Luke would be able to play the violin like he could before. 

Luke had nodded and stood up from his chair, Mickey watched him walk straight through the living room to the door and felt his heart drop. 

“Where you goin’? He asked. 

“We need cake.” Luke had said picking up his coat. 

“Oh ya?” He said smiling. 

“Ya and carrots.” Luke said pulling on his coat. “Do we have potatoes?”

“I don’t know.” He said smiling. 

“Hm.” Luke said. “Cake, frosting, carrots…” Luke said as he pulled open the door. 

Mickey watched him with a smile on his face, Luke was Luke again. 

“…onions, white pepper.” Mickey heard as Luke closed the door behind him. 

Luke had come home with bags of food and had made Yev a cake while he slept but Luke being who he is and having Ian’s sweet heart and forgiving soul was trying his best with his hurt hand to make Yev’s birthday dinner and Luke was making him his first memory of home. 

Beef Stew.


	12. Chapter 12

He went over the numbers again standing in front of the large piece of ply wood held up by two saw horses, he heard the whirl of the saw blade and the loud pounding music and added another half foot to the plans, he twisted his mouth up and turned the pencil around, he erased the numbers and started over. The saw blade whirred down to a whine and the music stopped, he heard silence and looked up.

Luke and Mickey were standing in the middle of the room staring at him. 

“What?’ He said. 

“We’ve been calling you.” Luke said with a laugh

“Oh.” He said. 

“Jesus the plans are fine.” Mickey said. 

He looked down at them, Mickey huffed out a breath and walked over to the table. 

“Your eyes are gonna fall out of your head.” Mickey said and pulled the notebook away. 

“Hey!” He shot out. 

“You can get it back after.” Mickey said. 

“After what?” He said crossing his arms. 

“When we’re fucking done!!” Mickey said waving his arms out wildly. 

Luke laughed behind him and he scowled at him. 

“Hey man, don’t look at me.” Luke said. 

He looked at Mickey and scowled. 

Mickey laughed and put the notebook back on the ply wood. 

“Thank you.” He said reaching for it. 

“Eh.” Mickey said turning his head at him. 

“They’re fine man.” Mickey said. 

He sputtered and rolled his eyes. 

“Someone’s here.” Luke said. 

“Pizza!” He said and smiled. 

“Ya probably.” Mickey said waving a hand at the stairs. “Go get the door.” 

“Minion.” Luke said. 

He turned around and held up his middle finger as he walked away. He heard Luke and Mickey laugh as he walked down the stairs quickly and jumped down over the bottom two steps. He walked down the hall and took a detour to the refrigerator. 

There was a knock at the door. 

“Ya comin.’ He called out and pulled open the refrigerator, he pulled out a soda and kicked the door closed. He opened the soda walking through the living room, he pulled open the locks and opened the door taking a sip of the soda.

A large man with white hair was at the door, he froze with the soda in his mouth, the large man with white hair was holding a pizza but he was not the pizza guy, he had all the markings and signs of a cop. 

“Hi.” The cop said and stared at him hard. 

He lowered the soda from his mouth. 

The cop smiled and his eyes lit up. 

“MICKEY!!! He called out turning his head but kept his eyes on the cop. 

“WHAT?!” He heard. 

“THERE’S A…” He trailed off. 

“Fed.” The guy provided for him. 

“..FED AT THE DOOR?!” He called out. 

He stepped back and heard stomping feet as Mickey and Luke came down the stairs 

“James!” He heard Luke say as he rushed down the hall. 

‘Oh James.’ He thought and breathed a sigh of relief, he knew about James. 

“Hey.” James said stepping into the house. 

“Hey Frick.” Mickey said coming into the living room. 

Luke came over with his arms out and gave James a great big hug, he stepped back and saw Mickey smiling. 

“Whatcha got?” Mickey said. 

“I ran into the pizza guy outside.” James said and let Luke go from his one armed hug. 

Luke took the pizza and James looked down at him. 

“Hello.” James said. 

“Oh ya you haven’t met.” Luke said. 

“No.” James said. “I’ve heard a lot about you though.”

“Oh ya?” He said and glared at Luke. “What’d you say about me?” 

“Nothin.’ Luke said. “Just that you were a pain in the ass and always talking, yap yap yap.” Luke lifted his hand and clapped it open and closed. 

He felt a smile start on his face and twisted his mouth up instead. 

“Ya well, if you ever turned off that shit you call music I might shut up.” He said raising his eyebrows. 

“Jesus.” Mickey said. “Don’t start.” 

Luke smiled at him and he smiled back crossing his arms, they got into it just to annoy Mickey, it was hilarious to get him going. 

“They’re trying to kill me.” Mickey said to James shaking his head slowly. 

James laughed and lifted his eyebrows. “Payback’s a bitch.” James said with a laugh. 

Mickey sputtered and rolled his eyes. 

James looked down at him smiling and he took a deep breath. “Hey.” He said holding out a hand. 

James shook his hand with a smile. 

“Hi.” James said. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

He smiled and nodded. “You too.” He said. 

“Come on in.” Luke said. 

James let go of his hand and he pushed the door closed behind him. 

“Want a beer?” Mickey said as he turned into the kitchen. 

“Sure.” He said. 

Mickey turned around and rolled his eyes at him, he lifted his soda and took a drink smiling. 

“That’s freaky.” James said with a shake of his head. 

“I know right.” Mickey said walking to the refrigerator and pulling it open. “I feel like I’m on a freaking acid trip sometimes.” Mickey said shaking his head and twisting the beer caps off. 

He laughed and walked up to the table, Luke opened the pizza box and dropped it on the table, he reached over and pulled out a big piece. He took a big bite as Mickey sat and James sat next to him, James picked up his beer and took a swig. 

“So you’re done?” Luke said to James. 

“Ya.” James said with a big smile. 

“Nice!” Luke said. 

“Ya man.” Mickey said. “You made it!” 

“Madwat?” He said out around his pizza. 

James smiled at him. “I retired.” James said. 

“And not one heart attack.” Mickey said. 

James laughed and Mickey smirked at James. 

“It still could happen.” James said reaching out for a piece of pizza. “I still hang around with you.” 

“HA!” Luke shot out. 

Mickey smiled and took a drink of his beer. 

“What are you gonna do with yourself?” Luke asked. 

“I have no idea, my only plan so far is to annoy Ginny and help you with all this.” James said waving a hand up at the ceiling. 

Luke nodded and smiled at James. Luke had talked about James a lot, he had been off somewhere on a case and hadn’t been around the past three months he had been here. He had met tons of people, so many he had to ask Mickey and Luke who people were when he saw them again. He wasn’t used to so many people around all the time and the only person who seemed to get that was Mickey, he would see him start to panic and make some excuse and pull him out of wherever they were. 

Luke kind of understood but he wanted him to be around people, he thought it was good for him. Luke hovered but in a nice way, Mickey watched him like a hawk for the first two weeks he was here, he couldn’t move without Mickey being there. He had finally backed off a little when he had agreed to see the shrink Luke kept bringing up. The shrink was alright, he asked a lot of questions and he had been quiet at first but over time he’s realized his anger had started to go away a little at a time and he could think before he let the rage tear at him, everything had slowed down and started to settle in him even when he wasn’t focused on math. 

It had been rough at first, he wasn’t used to people caring about what he did and where he went. They went back and forth about him going to school until he had said he would go in the fall after they were done with the house. The schools in Russia were way different and he would be a senior when he went back even though he hadn’t really been to school in two years, he took a test to figure out what grade he should be and Luke had tutored him for a couple of weeks in everything but math. 

“We’re doin’ good.” Mickey said and wiped his mouth. 

“Ya I saw.” James said pointing his thumb over his shoulder. 

“Nah.” Mickey said picking up his beer. “You gotta see the inside.” 

“Ya.” Luke said nodding and taking a bite of pizza. “Oz did the math.” 

“He did huh?” James said looking over at him. 

“Ya.” Mickey said with a smile. 

“Oz.” James said looking at him with kind eyes. “It suits you.” 

“Thanks.” He said. 

James nodded. 

Oz smiled and took a drink of his soda, Mickey had come into the office the night Luke had made his birthday cake and had talked to him about his father. He was honest about it and he had teared up realizing what Mickey had been through. 

“Hey.” Mickey had said reaching out a hand to his arm. 

“It’s all another life.” Mickey had said. “It’s all done and over with.” 

He had nodded and looked away. 

“And I got you.” Mickey said quietly. 

He had felt his heart swell, he had never thought Mickey wouldn’t care how he came into the world and he never thought Mickey would just be happy with who he was just because he was his. 

“There’s only one thing that needs to change.” Mickey had said. 

“What?” He said. 

Mickey smiled brightly at him. “You’re fucking name man.” 

He had smiled and Mickey had pushed his arm, he went back and laughed. 

Luke had shuffled into the room with a plate shoveling cake into his mouth. 

“What’s so funny?” Luke said as he came over and sat on the back side of the futon leaning against the wall. 

“His name.” Mickey said with a nod. 

“Oh ya.” Luke said with a mouthful of cake. “That’s rough man.” 

“Mm hm.” He had murmured with a smirk. 

“Mick is out.” Mickey said. 

“Ya, so not a Mick.” Luke said. 

“Come on” He said. “It’s fine man.” 

Luke shook his head. 

“Nah.” Mickey said and pushed a hand under his chin. 

“Your name should have been Ozran.” Luke said. 

Mickey looked over at Luke and smiled. 

“Ya that fits.” Mickey said. 

“Ozran.” He said turning his head and testing it out, it felt pretty good. 

“Oz.” Mickey said. 

“Oh ya, you’re totally an Oz.” Luke had said. 

“I’m an Oz huh?” He had said with a quick smile. 

“Yep.” Luke said and lifted a big forkful of cake.

He heard Mickey laugh and he turned to him and saw the gleam in his eyes. 

“It’s a trap!” Mickey said. 

“It’s a wha..?” was all he got out before he was hit with cake in the side of his head. 

“What the..?” He had said reaching up to his hair.

Luke giggled and he glared at him. 

“Oh shit.’ Luke said. 

“You better fucking run.” Mickey said to Luke. 

Luke moved fast and he bolted up from the futon pulling cake out of his hair and whipping it at Luke, he caught his arm with it and started running after him. 

“Milkovich Gallagher tradition man.” Luke had said running around the table and stopped. He caged him in and Luke went back and forth, he shadowed him and heard Mickey low laugh behind him. 

“HA.” Luke had said with his eyes narrowing. 

He felt Mickey’s arm come around his shoulders and got a face full of cake. 

Luke and Mickey laughed and he giggled pushing cake out away from his eyes with his fingers. 

“You’re officially a Milkovich now.” Mickey had said. 

He blinked cake out of his eyes. 

“Hey Oz.” Luke said picking up a piece of cake. “You wanna move a little to the right?” Luke said winding up like a pitcher with cake in his hand. 

“Don’t you fuckin….” Mickey said as he stepped out of the way and saw the cake hit Mickey square in the face. 

He had giggled hysterically watching Mickey lick his lips and smile. Luke bent over giggling behind the table. 

“That’s funny huh?” Mickey said wiping cake off his face. 

“Yes!” He said giggling. 

“You’re both goin’ down.” Mickey said. 

Oz had bolted to the table and Luke had giggled tossing a piece of cake to him, they ducked behind the table and battled with Mickey like Hans Solo and Luke against Darth Vader and the storm troopers. 

Luke had somehow forgiven him even before they had gone to New York to see the hand doctor, he felt so bad about Luke’s hand he couldn’t go with them. He had stayed home and made himself sick worrying. He had watched every Star Wars movie with Mandy or Heidi, they both had stayed with him while they were gone and they had tried to tell him Luke would be fine but he had refused to believe it until he heard it from Luke. 

Mickey and Luke had finally come home and he had sat on the couch while Heidi had jumped up to hug them.

“Hey!” Luke had said hugging her with one arm. He saw his violin case in his other hand and felt his heart twist and sink to his stomach. 

“Hey.” Mickey said coming in behind Luke and pulling off his coat. Oz looked up at him nervously and Mickey came over to the couch and sat next to him. 

“He’s OK.” Mickey said and rubbed his hand over his back. He had lifted his hand up biting his fingernail looking up at Luke. Luke pulled off his coat switching his violin case in his other hand, he watched his hand and tried to breathe. 

Luke walked over in front of him smiling and lowered the violin case to the table. Luke opened his hand out in front of him, he looked at his hand and saw the scar across the palm of his hand. 

“I’m OK.” Luke said. 

“What did he say?” He asked in Russian. 

“He said I’m alright.” Luke said in Russian. “I have to do..” Luke stopped bringing his eyebrows together. 

“What?” He shot out. 

“Physical therapy.” Luke said in English. “For like a week.”

“He’s all good man.” Mickey said and patted his back. 

“There’s no permanent damage.” Luke said. 

“You can.ca..” He stuttered in English and huffed out a breath. “Can you play?” He asked in Russian. 

“Ya.” Luke said smiling. 

Yev felt the band around his heart lessen and his chest loosen up. 

“Are you sure?” He asked in Russian. 

“Yes I can play.” Luke said in English. 

“Oh yay concert!” Heidi had said dropping to the couch next to him. Luke laughed and pulled up his shirt sleeves. Heidi’s arm came around him and he watched Luke open the case and saw his face light up. His heart ached and he sat back letting out a long breath, he felt Mickey’s and Heidi’s arms and stopped moving. Their arms settled around him and Luke picked up the violin, it was light wood and he saw the long cracks covered with shiny varnish. Luke lifted it under his chin and stepped back letting out a slow breath. 

Luke closed his eyes and pulled the bow over the strings with soft smile on his face. 

He recognized the song and smiled, Mickey sputtered and rolled his eyes next to him. Luke opened his eyes and smiled down at him playing the Star Wars theme perfectly. 

Luke went back and forth to New York to see Lou and finish school but they were both here a lot. He was still crashing in the office until Mickey had come up with the plan to bust up the house to make more room. He said he was fine on the futon but Mickey had drawn up a plan and Luke had freaked over it and that was it, they started redoing the house. Mickey had asked him to do the math and make the plans, he was still going over it and Mickey was always trying to get him to stop doing math but that wasn’t possible, everything was math. 

Oz picked up another piece of pizza and took a bite listening to them talk plans and building. He loved all of it, he had never worked with his hands before and he loved the way it all felt, seeing the plans they made and the math he did come together into something real that you could see and touch. 

“The stairs are back there?” James asked pointing past him to the hall. 

“Ya.” Mickey said. 

Oz wiped his mouth quickly and waved a hand to James as he stood up. 

“Come on, I’ll show you.” He said walking into the hallway, he stopped at Luke’s room and James came up beside him and looked in, the far wall was slanted and Luke’s bed was turned around against the inside wall. 

“Ohhh.” James said. 

“I lost my closet.” Luke said sticking his head around the door jamb with his arms crossed. 

“Will you stop bitching about your closet?” He said rolling his eyes. “Please!” He added. 

Luke shook his head and looked up at James.

“I almost lost my window.” Luke said. 

“No you didn’t.” He said. 

“HA! Luke said. “A whole pile of roof fell outside of MY window.”

“It didn’t break.” He said with a smile as they walked down the hall. 

Oz stopped at the end of the hall and James looked up the staircase, it turned at a sharp angle and went up into what used to be the attic. 

“Oh nice.” James said. 

“That window.” Luke said pointing to the small window in the wall. “My idea.”

“Nice.” James said. 

Oz smiled and James started up the stairs, he followed him and James turned the corner and up the rest of the stairs. 

“Wooow.” James said. 

They fell in behind him while James looked around, half the wall was slanted but they had torn off half the roof to make one big room. The insulation was in and they were in the process of putting up the studs to cover with drywall. 

There were two big windows that let in the light and it fell across the sheets of plywood they had put down before the hard wood went down. 

“This is awesome.” James said. 

“Still have a lot to do.” Mickey said looking around. 

“Ya.” James said putting his hands on his hips. 

“He has a closet.” Luke said quietly crossing his arms. 

Oz waved a hand up and rolled his eyes. 

 

Mickey watched Oz and Luke smiling, they were fucking brothers, they fought like brothers and protected each other like brothers. They drove him fucking crazy but they had become really tight over the past few months. They had forgiven each other and they were there for each other and that's all that mattered. 

“You up for some manual labor?” He asked putting his beer down on the sheet of ply wood that Oz was always standing over doodling in his notebook making sure they got every inch right. 

“Ya!” Frick said nodding. 

“Alright.” He said. “Let’s get to it.”

Oz turned on the stereo on the floor and Mickey went back to the table saw. Luke and Frick lifted the wood already leaning against the wall into place over the insulation. Oz came around to the end of the table and marked the wood with a notebook in his hand. 

The kid was so smart, he took to building like he had been doing it his whole life. Oz loved it and he loved seeing him so happy with the room. Luke had said he could take his room but Mickey had shot that down, they both needed their own space and this was Luke’s home and always would be. He had thought about doing this years ago so they could have a bigger room but Ian had shrugged it off saying they didn’t need a bigger room. Ian liked the house just as it was when it was all done and so did he, they had worked on it together and then Luke had come along and he had insisted on helping with the house for the money for his glasses.

Mickey smiled remembering Luke standing in the falling snow refusing to go to the eye doctor, Ian’s pissed off face came to him and his heart swelled. He laughed to himself and pushed the wood through the table saw carefully, Oz caught both sides and carried them over to the wall. 

They had his legal name change in the works and Oz had refused to get his license until after the name change. His name was a reminder of the past and Mickey knew it was really important to him to move past all of that. Oz hadn’t touched any drug since the night they had dragged him into the house unconscious and he had busted into his old house and made sure they never let his kid back into their fucking drug house party deal or whatever the fuck they were doing over there. 

Mickey couldn’t think about how close they came to losing Oz, he didn’t know what Luke meant when he had told him what they had said in Russian. Luke told him everything they said and ya Luke was asking him to stay but he still didn’t know what made him stay. 

…graduation?” He heard Frick say as the wood hit the end of the buzz saw. 

“Ya two weeks.” Luke said. 

“Oh maybe Ginny and I can spend a week there.” Frick said. “A little vacation time.”

“Vacation?” He said. “Nah man you’re retired now.” 

“Oh ya.” Frick said with a smile. 

“Plus who goes to New York on vacation?” He said picking up another piece of wood.

“I do!” Luke said. 

“Ya.” Frick said. “Comin' home huh?”

“After graduation.” Luke said nodding. 

Luke hadn’t auditioned for The New York Philharmonic but it was only because he had auditioned for The Chicago Symphony Orchestra, they were still waiting to hear but he knew he'd get it and Luke would be home for good. 

“I just have to convince Lou to move here.” Luke said. 

“Will you fucking marry her already?!” He said. “For Christ sake.” 

Luke laughed and put nails into his mouth. 

“Are you going to New York for the graduation?” Frick asked Oz.

“Yeah.” Oz said nodding. 

Frick was watching Oz and was trying to hide it, he knew he felt a lot of guilt over what had happened to Oz over the last few years. 

“Oz is starting school in September.” He said. 

“Oh ya?” Frick said with a bright smile. 

“Ya he’s going to be a senior, thanks to me and my tutoring.” Luke said as he lined up a nail. 

“Uh huh.” Oz said rolling his eyes and making a note in his notebook. 

Luke smiled and hammered in the nail. 

Mickey watched Frick's face twist up as he looked down at the hammer. Mickey turned off the buzz saw and walked over to wood piled against the wall, he walked past Frick and his eyes came to his as he walked past, he flashed him a quick smile and saw his eyes clear a little.

Mickey knew it wasn’t his fault, there was no way he could have known what was going on with Oz but he had known Sutter for a long time and for all his toughness and rules, he was soft as mush when it came to kids, especially broken kids because Mickey knew even though he had never told him that James had been one of them. 

 

James placed the nail carefully and lifted the hammer, he pounded on the nail in and shoved a new nail in, he saw Mickey’s smile and knew he was trying to tell him Oz was alright and he shouldn’t feel bad but ever since the day he had found out who had jumped Luke he had looked back over the past few years in a whole different way. He knew Svetlana was gone more and he thought Yev…wait he was Oz now…he had thought Oz had gone with her. He didn’t check, he hadn’t seen what was happening. 

He did have a case that kept him away but he had stayed away because he was struggling with the fact that he had let the kid down, he had watched him grow up and had even checked on him once or twice himself if he was in Russia. He had seen the pictures of Oz change from shy smiles to hard eyes and no smile but he thought it was normal teenage angst. 

He had kept his distance and never tried to talk to him and he should have. 

“Do you like school?” He asked Oz.

He knew it was a stupid question but he couldn’t help it, he needed to know he was alright. 

“It’s OK.” Oz said and shrugged. 

James nodded and turned back to the stud. 

“Kid loves math.” Mickey said. 

“Really?” He said with a smile. 

“And girls.” Luke said. 

Oz smiled and glanced over at them, he had a Mickey smile on his face and his eyes sparkled, there was one difference, Oz was blushing a little and in the whole time he had known Mickey he had only seen him blush once. 

“Ya man.” Mickey said. “Straight as a board these two.” 

“Eh what are you gonna do?” He said shaking his head.

Mickey laughed and he heard Oz giggle, he looked over and Oz was smiling down at his notebook. 

James lifted another nail and pounded it in with a smile on his face. 

“Do you play together?” He asked. 

“What like video games?” Luke said.

James looked over at Luke, he had a nail hanging out of his mouth and a hammer in mid air. 

“It’s good for my hand.” Luke said and pulled the nail out of his mouth. “It’s therapeutic to kick his ass.” 

“Bullshit you kick my ass.” Oz said with a sputter. 

“Play what?” Mickey said. 

“Violin.” He said swinging his hammer. 

James saw the nail was all the way in and realized the room was totally quiet. Mickey and Luke were staring at him.

“What?” He said. 

James looked at Oz and he had turned his body away and was looking intently at something in the corner. 

“You play the VIOLIN!?” Luke bellowed. 

‘Oh shit.’ James thought. 

“What? No.” He said. “I was just joking.” 

“Ahh no you weren’t.” Luke said. 

“Just because you can hear everything doesn’t mean you can say everything.” He said in a sharp tone. 

Luke’s eyes widened and his head went back. James let out a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry.” He said quickly. 

“Wait.” Mickey said looking at Oz. “You can play the violin?!” 

Oz let out a long breath and turned around. 

“I’m Russian.” Oz said waving his arms out like that explained everything. 

“I’m sorry Oz, I thought they knew.” He said. 

“Ya, why didn’t you tell us?” Mickey asked. 

“Because I hated it.” Oz said with his eyes wide. 

“Whaaaat?” Luke said. 

Oz sighed and waved his hands up. “I took lessons for a few months and hated every minute of it.” Oz said. 

Luke tilted his head like Oz was speaking Chinese.

“Come on man.” Oz said and walked toward Luke, Oz put his hand on Luke’s shoulder. 

“It just wasn’t my thing.” Oz said. 

Luke blinked at Oz, Luke looked at Mickey with a lost and confused face. 

“He’s saying words and I don’t know them.” Luke said. 

Mickey laughed and patted Luke on the back. 

“Do you play anything else?” Mickey asked.

“Guitar.” Oz said. 

Luke’s face lit up.

“A little.” Oz said lifting his hand from Luke’s shoulder and holding it up. 

“Still!” Luke said and waved his hands around.

Oz smiled and shook his head. 

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” He said. 

“It’s alright man.” Oz said smiling up at him. 

James saw his sweet nature and felt his heart break for all that he had been through and what he didn’t do for him. 

“No it’s not.” He breathed out. “I should have done something, I should have known.”

James pushed a hand over his face and felt his heart swirling in him.

“You couldn’t have known man.” Mickey said. 

James shook his head. “I should have.” He said. 

James felt a hand on his shoulder he dropped his hand from his face expecting to see Luke standing in front of him but he saw Oz’s blue eyes looking up at him with understanding and kindness. 

“It all worked out.” Oz said with a smile. 

James saw his smile and his heart eased. 

“You looked out for me.” Oz said. 

“Ya he did.” Mickey said. 

James took a deep breath and looked into his clear bright eyes. 

“Now I’m here.” Oz said waving a hand and tilting his head toward Luke and Mickey. 

“Ya and you have a new godson.” Luke said.

Oz's smile widened and he tilted his head raising his eyebrows.

“Ya.” He said smiling back at Oz. “I guess I do.” 

Oz nodded and gave his shoulder a pat, he lifted his notebook and walked back over to the wood he was measuring. 

James saw Mickey was right, Oz was going to be alright, he saw he was happy and content in being himself, he wasn’t brash like Mickey or outgoing like Luke, he was quiet and had an inner strength, he was a little shy but he was no push over. 

Oz made a mark on the wood and James saw Mickey pick up another piece of wood and set it up. 

They were all going back to what they were doing, that was the end of that. Oz had in very few words said everything that needed to be said. 

 

Oz sat on his futon and pushed a hand over his head, he was tired. It was 9:30 and he was ready to crash. James had just left after a long day and he had given him a great big bear hug when he left, he had a godfather and a real one, not the ‘This is your godfather’ bullshit his mother had tried to shove down his throat when she thought he needed to be more manly and introduced a hard Russian man. They would teach him what she thought were ‘man’ things and he’d go along with it to make her happy but James was nice and he had asked him a bunch of questions about his life now. James was easy to talk to and he had asked him questions about Mickey and Ian. 

James had told him about arresting Ian, he had nearly busted a gut laughing and Mickey and Luke had nodded and laughed along with him. He couldn’t imagine Ian being that much of a dick but apparently Ian was pretty tough. Oz smiled and went back on the pillow keeping his legs crossed, he closed his eyes and thought it was pretty cool the way they all talked about Ian, he was always a part of the conversation. They always told him stories about him and even though he only had one memory of Ian he held it close to his heart. 

“Look what I found!” He heard. 

He rolled his eyes open and Luke was sitting down on the futon holding a guitar. 

Oz closed his eyes and Luke pushed at his leg. 

“Come on man.” Luke said. 

Oz turned his head to the side, he felt Luke’s stare and ignored it. 

He heard the guitar strum and heard Luke start to play. 

Oz opened his eyes into slits. “Where’d you get that?” He asked. 

“I’ve had it forever.” Luke said. “I went through a girls like guitar phase.”

Oz laughed and pushed himself up on his arms and sat up, Luke stopped playing and pushed the guitar at him.

“I can play a little.” He said taking the guitar. 

“OK.” Luke said and put his fist under his chin. “So play a little.” 

Oz sighed and pulled it into his lap, he strummed the guitar and smiled, he started playing one of his favorite songs. 

“Oh Patience.” Luke said. "Nice."

Oz smiled and Luke whistled the opening of the song while he played, Luke waved a hand at him and Oz rolled his eyes 

“Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you.” He sang and Luke beamed at him. “I'm still alright to smile.”

“Girl, I think about you every day now” Luke sang with him way off key. 

“Was a time when I wasn't sure” He sang. “But you set my mind at ease.”

“There is no doubt you're in my heart now” Luke sang low lifting a hand to his chest.

“Said woman take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine” He sang with Luke.

“All we need is just a little patience” He sang smiling. “Said sugar make it slow and we'll come together fine. All we need is just a little patience.”

“Patience.” Luke whispered dramatically. 

Oz laughed and played the bridge. 

“Just a little patience.” He sang nodding to Luke. “Need a little patience, yeaahh”

“I've been walking the streets at night.” Luke sang with gusto and off key. “Just trying to get it right!” 

“A little patience, yeaahhh.” He sang laughing. 

“Its hard to see with so many around, you know I don't like being stuck in the crowd." Luke sang shaking his head back and forth. 

Oz giggled and sang. "Just a little patience."

"And the streets don't change but maybe the names!" Luke sang waving his arms out. "I ain't got time for the game 'cause I need you!”

Oz bent over the guitar giggling and couldn't sing the next line.

Luke smiled as he sang. “YAAA but I need you!!”

“Just little patience.” He sang breathlessly through his giggles. 

“Ooooohhhh I need you." Luke called out." Whooaa I need you!" Luke sang with his head back "Thiiis timmmeme!!!” Luke sang nodding his head up and down. 

Luke whistled turning his head back and forth as he strummed the last chords still giggling. 

Luke was smiling happily at him. 

“Wow you suck.” He said. 

“I know.” Luke said with a bright smile. 

Oz laughed and nodded. 

“You can play a little?!” Luke said. 

“I can’t play like you.” He said. 

“I can’t sing like you.” Luke said. 

“True.” He said. 

Luke snorted out a laugh and he strummed the guitar. 

“We should start a band.” Luke said. “Milkovich Gallagher! Like Van Halen!”

“No.” He said shaking his head. “That is not like Van Halen.” 

“Ya.” Luke said resting his chin on his hand. "Hmmm." 

Oz played while Luke thought of a name for their fictional band, he had forgotten how much he liked playing guitar he hadn’t played for a long time. 

“What else are you hiding?” Luke said. 

“What do you mean?” He said smiling. 

“You like math, you play guitar and..?” Luke said. 

“That’s pretty much it.” He said. 

He looked up and Luke was squinting his eyes at him. 

Oz smiled and bit his lip. 

“In six months are we going to find out you have a family in Russia we don’t know about?” Luke said. 

“Just Nadia and the twins.” He said with a smiling smirk. 

“HA!” Luke shot out and slapped his leg. 

“I don’t know.” He said strumming the guitar. “I’m not used to it all yet I guess.”

Luke nodded. 

Oz played and felt the sweet wave of home he had felt during the dream of Ian. It had taken time but he had come to understand what Ian had been teaching him. 

The one was all by itself, he could choose to be alone.

“I thought I’d be alone and I was OK with that.” He said remembering Ian separating the blocks. 

Ian had given him the two block to hold onto, he had given him his memory and even though he couldn’t see the block he knew it was there and he’d carry it with him wherever he went. 

“But I wasn’t alone.” He said with a smile. "I just didn’t know it.” 

Ian had added all four blocks and taken one away, three was tough.

Ian had added four and four together, four was important.

Ian had picked up the eight block and turned it on it's side, infinity.

Infinity had no beginning and no end, it went on and on forever. 

Ian had given him everything he needed and it was all in the numbers. Four had become more, three would stand strong beside him, two was always in his heart and one had made sure he was never alone.

All of the numbers together were everything, they were infinite, they were family.


End file.
